To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/20 17:40
Subject: Re: [K-list] Symptoms Poll
From: Pepper J. Baxter
On 2001/05/20 17:40, Pepper J. Baxter posted thus to the K-list:
The word, "It" refers to Kundalini force, and the joke about the pup, dog I called
"pup",...no I didn't, it was just a joke. My husband came home early. But if he hadn't
who can say...! Kundalini can make a person that crazy, and walking alone out in all
that wilderness of the mind, crazy as a loony-toony, and not realizing that that nutty
stranger experiencing the morbid is the self lost in space. No one knew even one thing
I was going through all by myself. For some reason all my abnormalcy seemed normal on
one hand in that it never occured to me to share any of it. I have a secretive nature
all my life. My brother, myself, and my Grandma who raised me are all Scorpio's I'm a
dbl scorpio. I don't run my life by this.
Pepper J. Baxter wrote:
> Well, to begin with if a good one ( K ) is in progress I become really paranoid. I
> think I am going to physically die and I start to set things up so that things
> will be made easy for my son where he will be able to make heads and tails of
> legalities etc.
> I become so sexually aroused that I have to act as if I am unfeeling towards sex
> or I fear would fall into doing sex with anyone, and everyone.
> Past lives become so real I cannot tell the difference between back then, and now
> days. If I was married or going with someone I could not recognize the difference
> between love, and sex. I always saw the male gender wanting sex, not love.
> Sometimes sex seemed nauseating, or forbidden, or disgusting.
> Once, and only once did I become so charged with arousal that I eyed my son's pup
> when no one was home for God's sake! He got away, and I will never forget the
> human knowing in it's eyes as if to say, "I know what you are up to, and I'm not
> that kind of person!" It was as if he were a person with a person's feelings, and
> really genuine too. Now it sounds like a comady but at the time it wasn't so
> funny.
> I never felt so ashamed in my life. I swear that dog had a humanness about him.
> After that I could tell buy it's attitude when K was about to become aroused
> before I even knew. But then I had no idea what "It" was or that there was an (
> "It" ). I'd see that look in his eye, and he would disappear until he psychically
> knew I was back to normalcy. His attitude then would be as if it all had been a
> nonexistent. I wondered if I had projected that attitude onto him myself because I
> needed to think of it that way. Not sure.
> I know this is maybe much too controversial for many people. It is for me! I put a
> lot of thought into whether I should admit to this. So after getting that it is
> one of the many (I think) occurrences that happen in a state of K, I decided to
> take the attitude of, "Yo! How hard up can a person get!", and tell about it.
> I also think people are trying to break into my home and thieve though nothing is
> ever missing. I have sessions of leaving my purse in stores etc. but always hurry
> back and find each time all my things are still in tact. An outcropping of losing
> my house keys, auto keys, storage keys etc, and getting them back okay every
> time.
> Memory problems, forgetting unimportant things, and hoping the important stuff
> stays with me.
> There is an entity that feels like a Tulpa to me. Scares the daylights out of me.
> I think I made It one by splitting it off of someone I feared so much that it just
> came about in my reality. It completely disappears when my "sanity" comes back. It
> is huge, and not a female I don't think, though the person I split it off from is.
> I come home from work and know it has been there, and it smells bad.
> One day I had a padlock thing put on my door. I licked the padlock and said to
> someone, a neighbor using a firm voice, "There, now nothing can get past that." I
> came home after a period of five days expecting the foul smell, and a foreboding
> presence. Instead when I opened the door and the feeling that heavenly angels had
> made camp in my home while I was away astonished me. I have never before or sense
> felt the sweet angelic fresh, fresh air as I did at that moment. My smile actually
> matched the vibrations I felt. I felt a part of me healing. So far I haven't felt
> the Tulpa presence. But then K has not had one of It's main cleansing surges sense
> then ( a yr. or so ago I think )though I feel it trying to open from sleep sort
> of. I have upsurges of cleaning as opposed to rising consciousness. Seems to be a
> bit different.
> Dreams! They are a lot like the preverbal, actually "both feet in one in each
> existence." One foot in this time, and place, and the other foot in a past life
> time also, and,...all at the same time." Seems to happen only when K is heavy on
> the cleansing move.
> That's about all I can remember at this time.
> Pepper
>
> DruoutATnospamaol.com wrote:
>
> >
In a message dated 5/19/2001 1:08:22 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
> > "pjdaveybaxterATnospamnctimes.net"ATnospamnctimes.net writes:
> >
> > > Can I get in on this too? I wasn't here a couple of yrs. ago. Pepper
> > >
> >
> > Dear Pepper,
> >
> > Sure! I intended this to be a current poll. Only one response so far!
> > Maybe If you answer it, others will follow :))
> >
> > Love, Hillary
> >
> > ***********
> > ... we've never done a general *symptoms* poll :))
> >
> > Sooooo. Please make a short list of:
> >
> > 1. Physical symptoms you have (or have had) that you believe to be K related.
> >
> > 2. Mental symptoms you have (or have had) that you believe to be K related.
> >
> > 3. Spiritual reactions you have (or have had) that you believe to be K
> > related.
> >
> > Thanks everyone!
> >
> > Love, Hillary
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