To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/15 08:38
Subject: [K-list] Choices and the jackpot
From: Denise Lyon Anding
On 2001/05/15 08:38, Denise Lyon Anding posted thus to the K-list:
Whew!
Looks like Denise hit the jackpot.
Christopher is some kind of angry/defensive.
And some others are puzzled.
Everybody relax.
Apologies all around. I'm not here on this list to upset people.
I do appreciate the many points of view. I find worth in them all.
Nor do I have to "be right." I never ask others to do what I myself have not disciplined myself to do. Nor do I have unrealistic expectations of others or myself. Talking about lofty ideas is soothing to the mind, sweet candy. Getting into the trenches of life and the actual everyday living requires a lot more effort. It isn't always easy. We all know that.
Yes, I realized some feathers would get ruffled with such hard declarative sentences. By your own previous writing, you needed to be flushed out to express yourselves. And most eloquently!
Whether angry, confused, defensive or just disagreeing, I am glad you chose to wrote. Real discussion does not come from everybody in total agreement. We all possess a facet of the complete truth. Let's share for the benefit of the whole. (We can talk about the thread of "separation talk" later.)
The original reason these posts on choices and fear were written was really for the small minority who have repeatedly posted about being in the throes of fear and no one was addressing their need.
Now I've been where they've been. I've been in the throes of intense fear. I've had those nasty nightmares year after year. What I gave you were the basics of what God and meditation showed me as a concept to create a path for myself out of the fear. Find the exit sign, so to speak.
When in the throes of fear, it is much like a giant field of extreme static surrounding you. No matter how many well-meaning people try to help you, you can barely hear what they are saying. It comes across like hearing only one word in twenty, if you are lucky. It is as if someone pressed the "mute" button on the volume control. Hence, the very short and downright vague sentences. Hopefully, while still wrapped in this fear, these people can reach out and grab a hold of a few short words. An occasional sentence. Anything that can help them to push their way out of this intense fear. It is not a place of joy.
Ah, the Land of the Sagaciously Vague. That is the point: vague. It's your job, not mine, to fill in the details you desire to live. Yes, free will. (I see another thread coming on!)
I already knew my "detail friends" like Christopher would write to explain me in or away. It didn't matter. I am delighted he wrote from his heart, no matter how much the words turned him off. Now the rest of the list has more to consider and to choose.
Ok, I guess I'd better explain one sticking point. The business of "moving away," was not so much about the physical of "moving house," but rather making a choice to move away from that level of thinking that is restricting a person while struggling to create or find their path in life.
Just like so many people on this list, I have lived. And lived in hard places. Yes, I can tell you I was brutally beaten literally every day, often several times a day, throughout my entire childhood. The favorite was to throw me down a flight of stairs four and five times a day. Well, I just learned how to roll head-first. In other words, whatever was done, I figured out a countermove. Of course, I cried out of loneliness just like the next person. Of course, I wondered what I was doing with such violent sadistic people. Of course, I was often confused and always living in anticipation of what they were going to do to me next. Breathlessly waiting for the next encounter, what would I choose to do?.... I didn't have just one person as "abuser" but three, both parents and a much older larger brother. It got old quick. But I learned a lot.
Now, I can cry about it all for decades or I can push myself through life and choose to live better.
That was my choice. What is yours? May it be much more pleasant for you.
Love to All,
Denise
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