To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/13 22:52
Subject: [K-list] Re: Cat's Catlin - Xenca
From: Cleocatras

Thankyou, Xenca.
Post Trauma is very confusing. It is a form of imprinting. the same way, baby
ducks imprint their mother's image, or the way Pavlov's dogs salivated. The
trouble with it is, that you do not know what blips of imagery or smell or
vocalization got imprinted, and only through journalling can you take ahold
of these silly neurons and realize feelings of fear, anger, anxiety,
avoidance, are all the imprinted response instead of salivation. You have to
humor how the brain functions when these things come up again and again, and
only keeping a journal will you be able to identify the "triggers" that
create these flashbacks.

At this point realizing that the emotions are all cellular, and quite
peculiarly out of context in the current setting, you can begin to humor it,
anticipating when it will be coming by studying your journalling and
neutralize the emotion almost before it even comes up. Medications like
tegritol subdue, or put a cap on all the emotions, but to be honest, you want
to have full sensation until you have most of them in the journal.

For instance, most of the violent episodes began or occurred during the
family meal and it took me 15 years to realize I could not function in a
traditional family meal setting without anxiety and avoidance, or starting a
fight myself only to get it apparently over with, since my emotions told me
it would happen. Well now we eat at two small adjoining tables or stagger our
time at the one table... or eat out. Still not the best, but at least the
trauma is out of it...

Blessings to you...
I will be glad to share more of my experiences like these if I know anyone is
interested...

Cat

<Hi Cat,
I've been following your thread for the last couple of days and I've been
very moved. Thank you for putting the energy into relating it to us here.
I was also abused as a child and my life has been blessed, confused, tortured
and made real by my big love for my family.
Your son sounds intense.
Much love to both of you.
Xenca>

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