To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/12 14:23
Subject: Re: [K-list] My story ....Peppers dreams
From: Pepper J. Baxter
On 2001/05/12 14:23, Pepper J. Baxter posted thus to the K-list:
I have a friend who is Manic Depressant. She was once married to a news
correspondent when she was in her 20's. (A handful of my friends are writers.)
They were in South America on assignment after having been in the South during
the big racial interlude. She was a pretty, blond girl and he was black, and
they were very much in love. They went through some bad stuff. Like having to
eat in a black cafe with black military standing guard over them while they ate
their meal, and not knowing if the guns would suddenly be turned on them. His
friends were afraid to help them, and though they had bus tickets they had no
more money whike they waited to get back on the bus when it was permitted to
finally leave They slept in an old car body that a friend fearfully took them to
while taking turns standing guard all nite.
A huge amount of K upsurged and her fear was so great that she lost a good sense
of reality as society defines it as a norm should be. They made it through and
went to Ohio to her parents home to meet their new son-in-law. That went over
like a lead balloon at first until later on they got to know him as a good
person who really cared for their daughter. Their were further experiences all
blotted together in those times that also contributed also in the neg.With all
this contaminating garbage still clinging to their psyche,...they left for S.
America. Things got really messy for her mind because of the K upsurge. She
walked out of their apt without any credentials, or her shoes. The police saw
there was something wrong with her. She had no idea where she was, where she
lived, what her name was etc.
She was put in an "insane Asylum. Two men were in charge of the ward she was in.
They held her down and took turns. She was so helpless that she became lifeless,
unfeeling, thinking like a little trapped animal. She told me that if a person
wasn't crazy when they went in then they became that way after being around
those that are everywhere in that place. The thing she noticed most was the lack
of kindness, and caring. There was no compassion and they were joked about and
laughed at every day that she was there.
Somehow her husband had found her...knowing of her mental condition and took a
chance and had contacted all the asylums. But the damage was done, and she was
in terrible shape all the way around. He divorced her because being married to a
black man was ruining her world, he was also becoming heavily contaminated by
her mental vibe's.
He lives in Sweden now, and is married with kids. They still keep in contact as
they have a son who stayed with her after the divorce. He lives on another
continent, and she in the states.
The thing is ...she is afraid of the idea of K and doesn't want to hear anything
about it at all. She lives on lithium, travels around the world as if there is
nowhere to turn. She's afraid of anything that smacks of K and says it's nothing
to mess with, "she's heard!"
She and her ex are writing a book on it . It is slow going. She fears to
remember lest it send her back into that world of the crazies, and the fearful,
dead life. She doesn't think she "has Kundalini." I think she doesn't believe
in it, or doesn't want to She won't read any of my books on it either. Pepper
> Jos'e
> try:
>
> http://swiftweb.com/ha/kun.html
>
> http://www.pendulum.org/index.htm
>
> http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.bipolar.html
>
> Love, José
>
> > I've never taken lithium but I wonder if I have what you do! Mine isn't
> people
> > following me. Mine is people stealing from me, cheating me, and lieing to
> me all
> > the time. I've worked so hard to get rid of these fears, and I'm finally
> > realizing that these fears are what has caused all that! I seem to finally
> > understand and have become calm and peaseful these days. Hope it stays
> gone.
> > Wasn't fun at all! Pepper
> >
> > José wrote:
> >
> > > Bipolar disorder is another word for manic depressiviness. Extreme
> > > moodchanges. In my case, by now: manic(up) episodes between januari and
> > > april every year, luckily no depressions anymore. Usually people take
> > > lithium for that or some other medications.
> > >
> > > I mostly seem to get a lot of paranoia and fear of being followed, left
> > > totally alone etc. and this causes me to get delusions(?), strange and
> > > unreal ideas. In between, when the paranoia and fear go away, there are
> a
> > > lot of experiences of synchronicity, thoughtreading; I can feel the
> presence
> > > of spiritual beings; in some ways I am really in touch with everything
> then
> > > and I have a lot of power. But the hard thing is the mixture with the
> crazy
> > > ideas.
> > >
> > > Does that answer your question?
> > > Love, José
> >
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