To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/09 06:10
Subject: Re: [K-list] empaths .. Mystress ..
From: Fiona and Christopher
On 2001/05/09 06:10, Fiona and Christopher posted thus to the K-list:
Hello Mystress,
We would, if we may, share with you the energies we perceive behind
and between the words you have shared with the list ..
These are our impressions - for you to take or leave as you choose.
They are observations based on our experience .. and also what we
have found with others we have worked with ..
At 06:11 PM 9/05/01, you wrote:
>So in the end, through some illogical twist of logic, I decided to
>skip the middleman and simply apply the curse directly to myself..
It may have seemed illogical but quite often this 'twist' comes from
re-enacting the life of some long dead ancestor who may have either
had a curse placed on her or cursed herself.
>Well, three days later I was apologizing to Goddess for my arrogance,
>and begging for mercy, to have the timeline extended.
Again ...the entreaties of a distant ancestor ..
who begged the Goddess for mercy to spare her life .. ?
It is often that, as we go deeper into the past, we start to play out these
ancestral memories coming up from the unconscious of the body ..
translating them into modern day times, spaces and triggers ..
without being fully aware of who it is looking through our eyes ...
>When I came out of it, I was ascended. The blissful detached awareness
>you describe, silent mind, stuff not sticking. Casual miracles, large and
>small, mysterious fragrances of roses,
And then, from my experience, some ancestor or past life pops up
and a memory of unworthiness or persecution arises .. and instead
of recognising that this is another archetype to be released, we,
from our past familiarity pattern, get swallowed up in the
self judgement .. which is not ours .. but part of the familiar pattern.
This continues until the new pattern becomes familiar enough for
us to accept new possibilities .. and it is only then that we start to
be able to accept the ascended state.
It can be very difficult, because .. even though you so eloquently
describe your experience .. unless the person you are talking to
has an intimate knowledge of this within his/her self, fear and
trembling will take over and in the initial vulnerability of the sharer,
there can be a transference of the shit being put out from the
other person .. and the trick is in the recognition of the mirror ..
which then helps to identify the part of your persona to which this
shit is sticking.
do not judge yourself so harshly .. it is not a descent from grace
but the unconscious taking on of the doubts of some other who
fears what she/he cannot understand.
The fragrance of roses is often associated with the state of the body
after death for those who have achieved enlightenment..
it is also associated with a catholic nun
who suffered greatly in her life and when
she died sent a shower of roses from heaven ..
she lived the life of the aesthetic
it is also associated with even earlier memories
of Celtic Priestesses who compromised their
own personal integrity and their knowing in the
face of the invading Church .. a self judgement
which was then faced by the priestess on her
deathbed as a judgement ... which becomes a curse
>sandalwood and bananas.. (that last,
>was Goddess sense of humor) and being literally invisible to some people.
Yes I have had that experience.
>Finally I realized that they simply could not see me. So, I simply took
>on enough ambient Karma from the crowd, to have a shadow.. enough
>separation to be visible, because invisibility is not much fun in a social
>situation.
It can be quite scary (for the reasons outlined above) to accept that you are
"invisible" because you have no "aura" or Akashic field visible to the looker
who cannot see past their own reflections ..
This state comes about when the conscious and unconscious minds
are operating as one .. and there is no repressed unconscious thought
process .. which is the energy "seen" by others.
You are right, that the aura is a shadow ..
and one who has no aura can see another
who is in the same state of consciousness ..
but, only through experience of knowing self.
This is why it is written
that one can only know another
as deeply as one knows
one's own self ...
The question arises ..
who (ancestral archetype .. there's no blame here)
took on the ambient Karma and why did that person
have the need to take on other people's garbage ..
This is the typical characteristic of the penance
or martyr attribute of sacrificial service which I
associate with what I term "the nun archetype"
> I cleared the stuff when the weekend was past. Months later, I asked
>the high Priest about it.. and he shrugged and said that he was aware of my
>presence, as he is always aware of me as a radiant sexual being, whether he
>can see me or not.. but since I was being invisible, he went along with it.
>He'd assumed the invisibility was deliberate, some kind of prank or game. I
>shook my head.. :)
As above .. it depends on the impersonal consciousness of the priest ..
going beyond the impression, what was your "gut instinct of this
interchange ..
which also can present and typify
A refection of father not seeing really the child ..
but aware of her inherent sexuality.
and ..
In the past nuns needed to play the rules imposed by the Priest
hierarchy even though many of them (priests) were corrupt
and forced the nuns into impossible situations .. especially if
they were sexually involved together ..
and there was a child.
Then the child had to be disposed of or hidden and the nun spent
the rest of her life atoning for her sin ..
whilst totally warping her own K with guilt and
sacrificing her own integrity.
Qite often we find that there are several levels playing our
simultaneously .. and the thinking process/left brain is
only able to catch hold of one thread .. usually the one
that appears from experience to be the least threatening ..
and so the deeper guilt/trauma gets shoved back
down again to rise again at the least opportune
moment ..
>The promise was a form of resistance, and trying to keep my word, I
>sacrificed my state of Grace.. and ended up sacrificing the promise, too,
>in the end.. but by then it was too late. I was stuck in Hades.
Interesting use of language ...
out of whose eyes are you looking
can you see here why we wrote of the nun/priestess above ..?
>I want to go home again.
From what we have written above, are there any possibilities
that you can consider as the source of the feeling .. for example
could this be the anguish of a Celt ancestral archetype ..
or of some other distant relative ..
and ..
Is home a place you have been to before ..
or is it barred to you?
if so .. by whom ...
> I actually, usually toned it down! There were simply
>too many inexplicable occurrences and odd miracles to relate them all.
Yes ..when I go deep into my body there are many more details
and memories that come to my consciousness but only some get shared ..
because people wouldn't believe it unless they saw or knew for themselves.
>Ditto.. winging it. My stubbornness, my Dominant persona and my
>agreement with Goddess to serve Her within myself and have none before Her,
>kind of precludes my accepting any kind of Guru or full time teacher.
Exactly .. the body is the ultimate guru with all of the accumulated
wisdom and knowing stored in its cells.
along with all of the opposites ...
> Yet.. I know all this stuff is not my own. I cleared all of my own
>karma, I ascended and then I fell from grace..
Again ...are they the words of Mystress or the person
who is seeking release from her body ..
Can you identify an archetype who fits this description
rather than denegrating your wholeness by attributing
this expression/feeling to "I"
In such a case, I work around this with a slight change
of wording, blame and perspective by using the words
"I am experiencing < ....> in this moment .. "
From this context, the perspective of the compassionate
observer can take over, and there is the easier path
to release of the experience on a deeper level.
>and now this is stuff that
>has become mine, because it is stuck in me..
From our experience is possible to clear it ...
Fiona and Christopher ..
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