To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/05 09:56
Subject: Re: [K-list] story of voice and snake sex
From: Sherman Buck
On 2001/05/05 09:56, Sherman Buck posted thus to the K-list:
thank you for sharing your experience.
"The Wizard"
Magical Happenings Inc.,
----- Original Message -----
From: <CLEOCATRAsATnospamaol.com>
To: <K-list >
Sent: Saturday, May 05, 2001 12:52 AM
Subject: [K-list] story of voice and snake sex
> Dear Michael and Sherman:
> Sherman wrote:
> I never thought I would write this experience to this list, but now that
this
> post and its catalitic post before it has been written here, I trust you
all
> enough to hear this...
>
> In 1982, I was living with my second husband and I was in a situation... I
> was beginning to have visions, but was ignoring them... I kept hearing
voice,
> "knock, knock... are you awake?" in my dreaming... just an example... My
most
> loved fox terrier Mindy was always talking to me in my sleep, all her
views
> of the previous day, and it was obvious to me she was a guardian and an
> angel, guarding me against the harm of the past...
>
> This was not a beginning of my connection and k awakening, it was a
> significant plateau, where my thoughts turned into voice and my dreams
became
> lucid and my conscious self became aware that it was the true real part of
> being one with the Divine. And coming from a very straightforward German
> ethnic practical type Hitler style abuser who never went to church, I was
> always retorting to these thoughts in a dialogue, that I wanted proof.
PROOF,
> proof that I was not hallucinating, loosing my reality, my mind, my
sanity...
> I would say these things in response to the lucidity of the other side of
the
> veil... it was a real dialogue...
>
> Things were really tough back then... I was with Mike, who started
drinking
> when he found out his mother was dieing, then my parents started to
encourage
> him to abuse me... now that came in its many subliminal forms, it felt
deeply
> subconsciously conveyed with lots of power energy... I still do not
> understand it, but Michael, after some time of it, began to be very
> physically abusive, and finally it was at that point that I did not know
from
> one day to the next if I would be killed by him... so many close calls...
> well...
>
> there was no pain involved, really... I had learned in my earlier
> enlightening how to shut off or leave pain... my parents forced me to have
to
> know, and frankly, Michael couldnt ever compete with my father's abuse if
he
> even wanted to try... Michael's violent part of mind was not vendictive
like
> my parents' was.
>
> anyway... I admitted to myself to try to leave and couldnt and realized I
was
> trapped there for awhile, that part is a longer story, and not worth
> mentioning here now... but at that point where I felt I might really be
hurt
> badly enough to be dead, I set my energy to prepare... it was 1981 or so
and
> I was 26.
> During this phase, I was on my knees and belly chanting every day all day
> long, begging to know God before I left... begging for proof, for the
> tangible, and not just belief, but the realness of it...
>
> I started hearing a voice... where the voice came from or if it was really
> audible, I do not know, since I was tranced most of the time I was
> chanting... but I do know I had real dialogue, and again, not known if it
was
> audible, but if anything felt audible, it felt huge and loud in my head...
>
> My dialogue continued... I didnt really have a sense of time, but these
> events were taking place while Michael was working and I felt trapped
> there... and basically... I was asking for the proof of God -- intensely
and
> asking over and over for days... many days... and finally the voice and
> dialogue.
>
> The volume of information was intensely overwhelming... most I cannot
> verbalize. I was giving the entire bible in terms of what parts were
> authentic and what parts were twisted and false... what faiths to go
> experience and which parts of them were "authentic" and how to assimilate
all
> my educational experience of all these religious thoughts... I was told
about
> resonance, how to sense safety and truth and grace in my messages from
spirit
> voices and from humans... what purpose I would serve and why I have lived
the
> experiences that I did... I did question the voice about this, saying that
I
> thought my own mind was fabricating some of this... that I wanted proof of
> authenticity...
>
> I then awoke in my sleep during one dream and remember distinctly saying
"hey
> wait now, I am strung out and traumatised and stressed to the degree that
I
> could just be hallucinating all of this, and it is just nothing but my own
> fabrication and insanity, since so much trauma is going on in my life" I
NEED
> PROOF...
>
> So, I was instructed to take dictation, in my dream... that I would wake
up
> and my angel/dog would be dying and that upon seeing this I was to go back
to
> the OBGYN and ask for a new PAP, that it would come back that I had
cancer,
> after just getting a clean test only a few days before... MANY specific
> things were told to me, including the entire event of this illness, right
> down to who would come to visit me in the hospital and every word they
would
> say to me, time of my surgery, what room I was in... everything...
>
> and I woke up, and everything unfolded right down to the dialogue between
the
> surgeons in surgery and my domestic violence counselor crying on the pad
of
> my gurney as I went into the prep room...
>
> The rest of my questions were answered, that Michael would stop hitting
and I
> was surrounded by a cocoon of protection energy, and that all I had to do
was
> envision it and it would be mine... yes it was true, too.
>
> When I layed in my bed home from the hospital... all cozy warm in a loving
> pain of recovery... thinking of the voice, and all that I now knew, I fell
> asleep completely healed... I loved my experiences and romanced them for
> several days and after my surgery was healed I started having dreams of
the
> very hefty brown kundalini snake entering me in a sexual way and I would
be
> asleep in orgasm all night long... and the terror of not knowing what this
> snake was in context to... even then, I could not stop the physical and
very
> real sensations of him entering me and caressing my legs and twirling
around
> in my uterus until I was in orgasmic delirium...
>
> the idea that it was a snake the thickness of my thigh consumed my erotic
> self, while the snake ideation still terrified me and I worried that I was
> possessed for and for months and months I worried, and could never tell
> anyone ever about this until now... I realize now that my worry had
finally
> sent him away... and that is why the nightime romance ended...
>
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