To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/04/12 15:45
Subject: [K-list] Jasper, Angelique, Norma Re: what to do
From: Murrkis
On 2001/04/12 15:45, Murrkis posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Jasper, Angelique, All,
Thanks for your responses.
>I think that the doctor was treating you like a little girl. The 'he is
>right and
>you are wrong'. Despite you telling him what your feeling were he just
>ignored them and continued lecturing you.
>So to me it seems like you two created an oppurtunity, you for speaking
>up or even telling him to F#$% off! and an oppurtinuty for him to learn
>to listen to your body's wisdom.
Jasper, Hehe, you're right... every moment is an educational moment. I was
just so bowled over by the "exchange" that I didn't have time to think of
what I could have been saying... it was pure surprise at his attitude bound
up with that ingrained automatic obedience that doctors seem to command.
When he asked if I had any more questions at the end of the appointment, I
sternly said "No, none at all! (read: no questions for you, buckethead!)"
Hehe.
Angelique, I haven't gotten up the nerve to just yell out "Fuck off, I know
what I'm talking about", but I'm sure if I ever do, that it will be quite
effective. ;)
>>Despite you telling him what your feeling were he just
>>ignored them and continued lecturing you.
>
> Typical.
Unfortunately, in my experience, this has often been the case with male
doctors. I have often felt my "encounters" with them have been scripted,
flowing in one direction only, and quite demeaning in terms of my being
heard or respected for the knowledge I have of my own situation. Gads, now
that I think of this, I am quite bowled over by it. To be fair, I will
spend a few moments recalling any male doctor I may have had that was not
this way.
Hrm. Well, I did have my wisdom teeth taken out by a doctor that didn't bug
me, but then, I was being doped or existing in a doped up state during our
entire encounter. Hehe. Perhaps this is my answer! ;) Oh, and two wonderful
chiropractic physicians: one who went out of his way to give me guidance
and offer support when another (male) doctor left my body shortcircuited
after a session of bodywork; one who listened "with" and affirmed what I
was telling him about my situation, and who was the first "healthcare"
professional who spoke the word kundalini unprompted and in a comfortable
manner. This last man even exchanged a human sense of inadequacy with life
path. /shocked look of disbelief. ;)
(Funny, I suggest the above exercise to anyone who is experiencing a
male-bashing or female-bashing drive... certainly did change the light on
the rest of this email, which I had already written prior to writing the
above paragraph.)
So, these three very much balance out the two real "shining stars" I have
experienced: the dermatologist who taunted the clearly depressed (p.s. from
the drugs he prescribed) teenager; and the neurologist who argued with a
college student about whether or not there were floaters in her eyes (as
documented by her referring opthalmologist) and expressed profound
disbelief that she was attending the university she was attending (huh?!).
>I'm sorry to hear about the patches on your tonsil.Have you tried talking
>to it yourself and asking what they are wanting to express?
This is part of my plan. Major plan for the evening, actually.
>Because you may help yourself with it? It may seem like a big enormous
>task, yet somehow I suppose you might enjoy it reflecting on it afterwards.
Actually, the "more" I referred to was that I listed off other "symptoms"
that may very well be connected to this internal throat lesion. They all
started at the same time and have not healed: a highly localized outbreak
of acne at the top of my throat, new floaters in my eyes, muscle aches and
sleep changes. The "more" was him rattling off a bunch of antibiotics and
retinols to treat acne... things I had just previously told him I had taken
as a teenager and had no desire to take again, as they caused me health
problems (I suspect lasting health problems).
I found it quite exasperating that though I presented the temporal
connection (within a day or two) between all of these "symptoms" arising
quite clearly and repeatedly, his approach was to never mention that
possibility and instead suggest treatments for the symptoms. The symptoms
don't bother me, I made that clear... I can live with all of them. I am,
however, quite interested in finding out what is going on with my neck such
that most of the "symptoms" are centered on it.
As a side note, I wonder if anyone else has experienced such a profound
shift in what they consider physically painful such that they now have
difficulty saying that things cause them physical pain? This is, I'm
beginning to realize, making it very difficult to have my health issues
taken seriously. Like, if I can't claim that something isn't excruciating
(what is excruciating pain?), or look miserable about it, then the
complaint isn't valid. Don't I get brownie points for sheer magnificence of
visual display? Hehe
Angelique, perhaps the "Fuck off, I know what I'm talking about" would be
better suited as a general mantra of empowerment. :) I like it. It has a
nice ring to it. I am visualizing a class full of yogis, eyes closed,
focused on their centers, chanting with gusto: "Fuck off! I know what I'm
talking about!". Perhaps a few tibetan bells in the background... ;)
Well, this email certainly was rambly and all over the place.
with warmth,
Nina
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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