To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/04/09 07:25
Subject: Re: [K-list] Thanks(relationship and communication)
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/04/09 07:25, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 05:58 AM 4/9/01, JB789ATnospamhotmail.com wrote:
>I have shown the responses/mails to my partner, and also some
>literature on ADD.
>And I certainly, do feel a change in her
>communications/listening/attention.
From what you described, ADD may be part of her pattern, much more
extreme than my own.. I suspect there may be some kind of dyslexia involved
also. Not an uncommon combination.
I am ADD.. not properly diagnosed, (typical ADD pattern of avoiding
bureaucracy, and I don't want medication.. I may reconsider.) but I have
done a lot of research on my own. I fit the classic female "daydreamer"
profile. It was an incredible relief to read the literature about it and
realize that so many of the issues I had been judged and blamed for, my
whole life and been been beating myself up for being unable to change, were
actually ADD..
With recognition and acceptance, came a lot of personal healing, some
new coping strategies: adapting my lifestyle to make the most of the gifts
of it and avoid the pitfalls. The daydreaming, lack of punctuality, the
inability to finish a project, and resistance reflex... for example.
Being self employed, I can adapt my work schedule to get a lot done my
high focus days and spend my distractible days channel surfing and
indulging in daydreams.. which, with K., take the form of powerful creative
visualization magic.
The tendency to daydream that was a complaint of every school report
card, is the talent of my healing work. The resistance reflex came in handy
as a Pro-Dom. The lack of punctuality is minimized by a life without any
deadlines or schedules. The projects these days are most often things like
web pages, which are permanently under construction, anyhow. I plan for
them to be bigger than they need to be, and do the important things first.
So the stuff that is left unfinished, was not essential anyway.
My ability to focus changes with the phases of the moon, solar flares,
sunspots, and depending on what I have been eating.. I think of it as "my
orbit".
I am prone to Candidaisis.. some foods, like wheat flour really mess up
my ability to think clearly. My blood type does not digest it very well, so
it gets digested by unfriendly bacteria that pee brain toxins into my
bloodstream. I have a book called "Brain allergies" that describes a lot of
mental difficulties that can be a side effect of subtle allergies.
It shows up in my writing too.. sometimes my posts are very linear,
other times they jump around from topic to topic within a single
communication. Like this one.
Fortunately, my beloved is patient with the whole process. He has
adapted to my orbit, and some of the adaptations are really simple.. like,
if he sees that I am absorbed in some work, he does not interrupt me,
because I'll lose track of what I was doing and have to start over... which
is frustrating and makes me cranky. Instead he hovers in my peripheral
vision for a moment till I finish the sentence, paragraph, activity or
train of thought, and turn to him.
Often when I am absorbed in some work, I will finish the sentence, then
interrupt myself long enough to make an appointment with him for when I am
done with it and can give him my full attention. For example, I usually
take a few moments from whatever I am doing to greet him when he comes home
from work.. I hear him coming in and adjust.. but if he is wanting to talk
about something important to him and most of my focus is still on what ever
I was doing before he arrived, I'll ask that he tell me about it over
dinner, instead... when I can give him my full attention.
He has learned to recognise the far away look in my eye that means my
body is present, I am looking at him and responding to him, but my mind is
really somewhere else.. which means I might not remember much of the
conversation, later. The bonus is that when I am really present for him,
the same hyperfocus attention is on him, and nothing else in the world
exists. :)
We do not go shopping together when I am in a distractible state,
because I am prone to wandering through a store looking at anything that
catches my eye.. whether I want to buy it or not... curiosity on legs. This
is very hard on his patience. He gets these little pain crinkles around his
eyes.. If I'm in a focused state, I shop more efficiently than he does, and
he often wants me there to assist his decision making.
I'm in a distractible phase now, so .. poof, that is as much attention
as I have for writing this post. Here are some links on ADD and Candida
that I compiled previously.
ADD:
http://members.tripod.com/~Spideog/wildmindhomepage.html
http://www.chadd.org/index.html
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dx/fdx-ch01.html
http://www.add.org/content/menu1.html
candida
http://www.bodyecologydiet.com/candi.html
http://home.online.no/~dusan/diseases/candida/
http://home.online.no/~dusan/diseases/cancer/cancer_dr_budwig.html
http://www.ioa.com/~dragonfly/candida.html
http://www.candidadiet.com/about_candida.htm
http://www.breathing.com/articles/candida.htm
http://www.delicious-online.com/D_Backs/Nov_97/natheal.cfm
http://www.wholeapproach.com/diet.html
>It might be too early to regard it as a 'good thing happening',..
>but since you've been so kind to use time on my message, I thought I
>would let you know.
Yes, thank you! I hope things work out for you both.
Blessings!
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