To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/31 08:24
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re: No more yoga
From: Recoveringserena
On 2001/03/31 08:24, Recoveringserena posted thus to the K-list:
> > Now, I am growing alarmed that practicing hatha yoga
> is also out of the
> > question... as I can't seem to make it halfway
> through without crying. This
> > has happened at every single class.
> > Has anyone else had this experience? Is it
> permanent?
Hi Nina-
I was taught by my first Hatha yoga teacher to expect to cry,
at times. She said that particularly in poses that opened the
chest/heart, but also in other poses opening other areas of the bodymind,
we would experience the releasing of buried emotions.
She said it would not always be pleasant, but that it would be healing
if we could feel and breathe through it.
This did happen to me in a class, eight years later.
A yoga instructor helped me deepen into a sitting twist and the
tears just rolled. For so long I had lived in a world where people
were not caring and loving, but distant or hostile,
but on that wonderful day I could
see that this instructor was really helping me only for the sake of love.
A long-held, deep block just melted. I have been a better person
ever since, able to perceive viscerally the good in people (as
well as the fear or anger or guardedness that people may be carrying).
So there were two different yoga teachers involved... one telling me
that crying might happen and that it
was a normal part of the Hatha yoga process
of developing bodymind aliveness, and another teacher eight years later
who, when I did cry in class after she touched me,
completely accepted it in a nonreactive fashion.
The experience of studying yoga under a teacher who has a genuine
calling to the path of service is amazing. I have taken classes from many
different teachers over the years- I have moved a lot- and my progress under
such teachers who teach Hatha yoga but truly walk the path of karma yoga
so far outdistances my progress under other teachers,
it does not compare. By progress, I mean an increase in centeredness,
confidence in my own bodymind intelligence, and Self-directedness.
I take very seriously any dislike I feel of a teacher. I am there to learn and
to heal and if someone is struggling with issues around which I am still
raw, there is too much energetic "noise" in the classroom for me to do my
work. I spend too much time worrying about what the teacher thinks of me
and what the teacher may do or say. This is my problem, but it does me
no good to remain in a class when I start to struggle like this.
Two other thoughts... One, I don't force myself to practice when I feel
averse.
Some people do and think that there is wisdom in so doing- there probably
is wisdom in pushing oneself, at certain points in one's development.
What I have learned for sure is that it is self-destructive to raise more
energy
than I can ground. If I can't ground the energy in a healthy way, I will
do it in unhealthy ways that damage me.
Second, is that the further along I go, the more important "grounding"
seems to be. At this point, fully half my practice time is spent in
"corpse pose". Lately I take small breaks to ground during the practice
between
poses (usually 2 breaks per practice) and then I do a 15 minute
grounding at the end. I won't be surprised if the time I need to spend
grounding even increases from this level.
Serena
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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