To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/22 14:33
Subject: [K-list] being surprised by joy where i am at
From: Divine Goddess
On 2001/03/22 14:33, Divine Goddess posted thus to the K-list:
i love my life, particularly on this glory, glory, shining spring day
i was waiting for the bus...got off early cause still have a lot of
packing to do
i felt something approaching and turned to the left to see a 11 or 12
year old grrl skipping towards me with one foot in the gutter and one
foot on the curb
she was righteously proud of her long glossy black braids and skipped
to accentuate their swinging around her head like a halo
she came right up to me and beamed a 1000 mega watt smile that split
the sky and asked, 'is bus 32 here yet?' i tell her i haven't seen it
but it is probably on it's way...
too full of energy to sit down she looked back on the street and
squealed 'it's coming! there it is!' swinging her braids around her
in
a wild cloud of shimmering waves...i notice she uses a rubberband
instead of a safety pin to hold up her too big pants...her shoes
untied, laces trailing in the dust...
she bounced up to the bus and tossed 'thank you so much' over her
shoulder and was gone
i had such a big smile on my face...
two weeks ago i am on the bus to go home
we stop at a corner and i feel this shining clear presence, subtly
physical, get on the bus...i look and can't see a thing
soon i hear...'hellooo, how are you...hello...hi...hello...hi'
there is this tiny little girl skipping down the bus aisle looking
each person in the eye as she looks into the seats...
another beamer with a 1000 megawatt smile...
her very young mother follows a few paces behind...a weary, indulgent
smile on her face
the little grrl in her fine red dress and little backpack jumps up
next to me and looks at me with huge brown eyes, smiling wide,
'hi!!!who are you!' no shyness, no fear...
we start to chat and she is three and she is coming home from school
and look i made these today and what is that and where are you
from....
she reaches out and touches my buttons and then my name tag...softly
curious... i tell her what it was and ask her if she wants to see it
yes, please thankyou yes do you have any kids?
i say no i don't but will your mommy let you be my little grrl for
just a few minutes?
she blushes and smiles shyly and takes my name badge and puts it
around her neck
we chit chat for a few minutes more about everything and nothing
then it is time for her to leave
she gives me back my name tag and says thank you
i say thank you for holding it for me...megawatt smile back
she skips down the aisle...bye, bye... bye...goodbye...bye...to each
and every passenger
no one can resist the little beamer and she dances out the bus and
the
bus smiles to itself as we continue on our way
several years ago i am downtown on my way to work
there is a man who is a street person who is there everyday...
he is tall and thin and dark like chocolate with soft gray hair cut
close to his head
he plays a harmonica and plays well...sings from his heart joyous
songs of jazz and the blues...joyous blues?
another megawatt smile beamer...
he will sit up against a building...his legs so long sometimes you
have to walk over them to get anywhere...his feet tapping to keep
time
to the beat
i don't talk to street people much...especially men...can be
dangerous
but most often is annoying... i haven't learned yet how to be
gracious
in my femininity
another glorious spring day and he is singing and playing with all
the
joy that is possible...
he sees me coming and i hear him call to me...hey lady...hey lady...
i do my invisible thing and keep walking
he keeps calling...hey lady...hey lady...megawatt smile....
as i pass him by i hear him say softly...now you will never know how
much i truly love you.....
my heart folds in at these words...
this past year i have not seen him and i wonder where that wonderful
man is who sang to all the people and hugged as many as he could
these beamers are my teachers...they show me where i am at and how
far
i need to go....
they teach me to live in the moment as each moment is fresh and brand
new
just some of my experiences
with love,
susan
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