To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/21 06:22
Subject: Re: [K-list] sorry..
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/03/21 06:22, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 10:30 AM 3/20/01, murrkisATnospammindspring.com wrote:
>I kept waiting for the "I'm sorry" in that series of posts... well, it may
>be way too late, but, here's MY chance to practice what my partner preaches:
>
>I'm sorry, v! I'm sorry, Simon! I'm sorry Mystress! I'm sorry to anyone
>who lurkily dealt with their own responses to the posts!
To the list:
I'm sorry I coddled V.'s victimhood at the expense of Simon and Wim.
I'm sorry I'm not as eternally patient as I would like to be.
I'm sorry for getting caught up in the mess.
I'm sorry I'm not big enough and wise enough to help people who probably
would be better off in a clinic with a trained therapist, than on an email
list.
I'm sorry I'm still so unenlightened as to be affected by manipulation,
planetary energy swings and PMS.
I'm sorry Simon left.. we were friends before this whole mess started.
I'm sorry I said V. is clinical.
I'm sorry I did not know it was a bad word.
I'm sorry I could not find a way to nip this in the bud before it escalated.
I'm sorry for escalating it.
I'm sorry I'm so frustrated with this shit that the berserker is dissecting
V. and the Karma vampire is barfing her crap back at her on the list.
I'm sorry I'm not detached enough to be bulletproof.
I'm sorry for the trees that died so I could have kleenex for my tears...
I'm sorry if that sounds like manipulative self pity too.
I'm sorry for not being sorry that I'm manipulative...
I'm sorry if my apologies are not enough.
>I'm just flat out sorry for everything!
>
>Wow, that felt great! Still feels great!
I'm sorry that saying sorry does not feel great.
I'm sorry that I'm saying sorry.
While it can mean compassionate empathy, like saying "I'm sorry" to
someone who is grieving, to me it means regret for the past, which is not
the same as seeing perfection in what Is.
I'm sorry I'm not living up to my own standards of personal
integrity, by saying sorry, and by fleeing the list before I really lose
it and do something even more repugnant.
Finally, I'm sorry to abandon my post, but I'm taking a break from the
list until I can get myself back into balance, and see perfection in what
Is. Starting Now.
>P.S. What a bizarre day! (For one, I can't seem to stop using exclamation
>marks!) This is the vernal equinox, yes?
I'm sorry, but I'm no good to myself or anyone when I'm in this state.
Beyond attaining witness, cut off from my higher guidance and sliding
downhill fast into raging berserker. I have learned to see it coming and
isolate myself from regular folks so nobody gets hurt, including me.. like
a werewolf who locks themselves up when they know the full moon is due, so
they I don't kill anybody or get killed, themselves.
I'm sorry, but right now it's better for me to be off by myself,
scrubbing floors and spring cleaning closets. Maybe I'll find my lost
patience hidden in the chaos.
Blessings to all, and thank you for your patience with my ADD, my
infallibility, and with this whole stupid mess.
DISCLAIMER!
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