To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/21 06:20
Subject: Re: [K-list] V's Paradox
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/03/21 06:20, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 09:26 PM 3/20/01, v wrote:
>I'm very unhappy with the situation too, and have unsubbed from the other
>2 related groups, and poised to unsub from here too.
>It used to be that it was more of a community, and people I knew on here
>were supportive and helpful. Now I have just gone thruogh hell, and Simon
>comes up smelling like roses, and I am the outcast, and called "clinical".
>I offered a good half hour's writing on moods and emotions, and except for
>one response, it is as if I never wrote it.
V:
I think you should do whatever you want. I have stood up for you, how
many times in the past week? Starting with me speaking up to support your
cynical response to Wim's "burger miracle" post that started this whole thing.
For myself, I was going to let it go, it was silly of him to forward
it, but not worth making a fuss over, especially considering how generously
he contributes to the group in other ways. You complained, so I acted to
invoke the list guidelines.
You wrote in your "moods and emotions" post that Simon is your teacher.
Yes, he is. You responded to Wim's post with a lot of harsh judgments,
which Simon reflected back to you. What you put out, you got back
multiplied. Maybe nobody responded to your post about moods because we are
all still waiting to see if you will take your own advice, and act from
spirit instead of wallowing in self pity.
It took you 1/2 hour to write? Good for you. I write much more slowly
than you do. This whole mess has taken many hours of my time and frankly,
worn me out. Do you appreciate it? No. You respond to my support by
throwing it away as if it did not exist, and instead put all your energy
into taking issue with the word "clinical" and complaining when I reflect
back to you a word you used to describe yourself. "Over sensitive".
When I wrote ENOUGH in response to your childish gloating post to KSL
last night, I meant it.You are not the only one whose nerves are a little
frayed by solar flares and equinox energy shifts. I've had enough. I'm not
a Saint like Wim, my patience with this is over.
Other members, for the most part have respected my request to move on
to other topics, you choose to take it personally that everyone is not..
what? Giving you a medal and a brass band? For what? Choosing to be a
victim over and over? Or for your "unconditional forgiveness"? I don't see
any signs of it. I see you wallowing in self pity and licking your wounds
till they become infected and poison your whole experience of the list.
Now you want to pull the old "take my ball and go home" attention
getting behavior manipulation. Childish. Go ahead. I don't care anymore.
What Cat calls "The law of diminishing returns." There comes a point where
it is time to stop investing energy trying to help someone who has no
interest in helping themselves.
No matter what I do to support you, it is not enough, and I'm not
going to support your belief in your victimhood. I will support you in
choosing to love yourself and take responsibility for what you create...
should you choose to do that.
Did you read what I wrote to Fiona last week about the "poor me" control
dynamic?
> This whole manipulative charade you both have presented reminds me of
> what the Celestine Prophecies described as a "Poor me" control strategy,
> where an individual goes on and on about their misery in an effort to get
> attention
>and provoke sympathy. Such an individual will resist all efforts to be
>"helped" because if there was no more suffering then they would lose the
>cherished control dynamic.
That is exactly what you are doing. Ignoring the support you have been
given, to focus on the negative, and then creating a fantasy of being the
poor outcast.
The K-list community spirit is just fine. Healthier than ever, because
it has matured, and is much less likely to go off on a tear in response to
manipulation. You judge that it is not, simply because it does not dance to
the tune you want to play?
I spent many years as a Pro-Dom, experimenting with exactly how much
power I have, to control what someone else does. The answer is "NONE AT
ALL", not unless they allow it. Free Will is Goddess Law. You want to be a
victim? Go ahead. You have been getting a lot of mileage out of it so far,
why stop now just when you are enjoying it so much?
>You know - I *forgave* him - a very hard thing to do, and he turned and
>used it against me...
What is really ironic, is that this mess started with your cynical
comment about the burger miracle post:
>But, irregardless, I am not much impressed with someone who plasters all
>over the internet what a "good and holy" person she has been.
Pray tell, what is the difference between that post, and your numerous
posted comments about what a good and holy person you were for forgiving
Simon? 100 websites?
Don't answer that.. I've heard enough.
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