To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/20 01:33
Subject: [K-list] Moods and Emotions
From: v
On 2001/03/20 01:33, v posted thus to the K-list:
Now, I am not a specialist here, by any means, but thought I'd share my ideas
about the nature of moods and emotions, as I have been dealing with their
"reality/unreality" for as long as I can remember.
Some of us here have survived atrocious abuses, physically, mentally, emotionally,
and spiritually. And I believe that everyone is psychic, it's just a matter of
awareness. When people are abused, and especially children, I believe that it is a
form of self-defense that the nerves become hyper-aware, even beyond stress.
It is as a protective mechanism that we are shocked into the neccessity of sensing
what is going on in our surroundings beyond the faculties of the 5 "normal"
senses. The 5 "normal" senses did not protect us adequatly back when we were
unsuspecting and trusting of the people whom perpetrated the abuses, often our
primary caregivers, aka "parents", but not confined to them.
People who live on the streets become aware early on, that - unless they develop
"street sense" - they are in danger of being beaten or ripped off or shot. That's
just "survival of the fittest" down on the boulevard; that's just the way it is.
And the same can be applied to children in - otherwise legal and so-called
nurturing homes. When the trusted one - be it daddy or mommy or uncle Jethro -
suddenly lash out inexpicably violently, or come on sexually to an innocent child,
that child's world comes crashing down around their head. And our brains are not
fully developed, nor do we have the survival skills to process the reasonings
needed to see the situation objectively at such young ages, and so these
experiences often lie dormant and unprocessed.
When we grow older, and have not yet processed such abusive situations, we are met
again and again with similar situations which push these often subliminal buttons,
and release the original hurts and anguish and overwhelming feelings of rejection.
These feelings are often blown way out of proportion because of the stuffed
emotions, and it is then that we are again faced with the daunting task of working
through the original traumas.
The strongest of people who were abused in childhood the most severely, often
remove themselves from the core personality as a method to distance themselves
from their abuse. Thusly is personality fragmentation created, aka schizophrenia.
I am reminded of an AOL account with the many screen names to service different
aspects to serve our needs.
Then - we have "mood disorders", which I believe are complicated even more by
physical internal responses and chemical imbalances which respond to traumas, and
relived traumas, as we encounter them in the present.
The experts say that mood disorders are caused by neurological imbalances upon a
brain chemistry level. People with a pre-disposition to such imbalances are
affected by outer stimuli such as the synapses in the brain cells are overburdened
by an excess of protons &/or neutrons, and the synapses short circuit.
Resultingly, instead of being balanced and equitably distributed upon the brain
cell, ALL of them are magnetized to either one side or the other, causing
excessive mood swings, upon a physical level.
Now, here is the clincher. If we are to believe the spiritual masters/mistresses
and philosophers, we are pure spirit. At our essence is a non-gendered spirit of
creation, which is connected to all the rest of nature and creation. When it is
said "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" - it is meant that the spirit
is encased within the physical body, and - as such - is subject to the whims and
conditions inherent within the physical body.
Since we are taught that all material life is maya - or delusion - then, by
definition, the affectations of the pysical are also filtered down through
delusion and are of themselves - delusional. Moods and emotions may seemingly
overwhelm us in the flesh, but in the spirit they are just showing us what buttons
remained to be pushed. And that is why seemingly insensitive jerks like S.G. may
be very extremely annoying, but - when viewed wholistically, they are really our
teachers.
Another aspect of being human that I would like to mention is - that some people
are born with a differing temperament - they are born as artists. Artists have
always had a place in civilized societies (until this era), as a neccessary gauge
of the health of those societies, because they *mirror* back the nitty gritty
input received from such societies. I think the combo of the above responses to
experiences of past childhood abuses, a hyper-developed "street sense" (aka
empathy/empath) resultingly, and - in some cases - just the existance of an artist
born to mirror back the diseases of nowadays mostly totally dysfunctional
societies, can create the "clinically diagnosed" mood disorders that some of us
are prone to.
When we say "over-sensitive", we are implying that there is a baseline of
"sensitivity", which is the norm. But, is there really?
Who is qualified to pass judgement on *what* is a "normal" sensitivity to apply to
all the mewling masses? Certainly - the _more aware_ people, are the ones with the
most experiences with processing human traumas. But - maybe they are busy being
dysfunctional within a dysfunctional society, with unreasonable expectations.
Maybe they are out on the street, with no home and no support system, because they
could not fit themselves as a round peg, into a square hole. Many homeless people
are very well educated, and that is why they cannot shapeshift into a "normal" 9
to 5 job, upstairs with the yuppies.
My whole point is, that - who are we to judge each other, within our diversities?
Because we just don't *know*, really, do we?
We each have our recipes of what feels "normal" to us, even if we are somewhat off
the beaten track.
Deep inside ourselves we are ALL pure spirits. This filter that we must process
our self-expressions through, known as the physical body, causes us all to get a
little crazy. And when we can admit that we are a little crazy, and allow others
that same courtesy, we have a much more realistic grasp of what is going on.
That's why we must all meditate. The Way is within. And we must be teachers and
stewards to each other, since we are all the same spirit, and we must take care of
this earth, and we must master the means of self-expression, while causing harm to
no one.
I'd appreciate it - next time someone is yanking on my chains - please just remind
me of this. I am no more perfect than you.
pax,
valerie
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