To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/20 00:39
Subject: RE: [K-list] over-sensitivity.
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/03/20 00:39, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 08:05 PM 3/19/01, S.G. wrote:
>Ok Angelique,
>
>Now its your turn to listen.
I am always listening.. now you choose to vent on the list? sigh. Ok.
guess I'd best respond.
>It would seem that 10 days reading my posts is enough to assure you that
>Valerie's mental state warrants sensitivity and mine does not.
More than 10 days, Simon.. I read you on Susan's list before that, and
in our extensive private correspondence. Enough to be clear that while you
sign your posts "from the heart and the head".. they mostly come from the
head. Obviously, this post does not come from the heart... it comes from
the ego.
>3)I have already accounted for and separately apologised for
>mydysfunctional email client that has caused private posts to be broadcast
>but it is clear you have decided that I am a liar. Did you bother to read my
>statement to that effect?!
Check your dysfunctional email client: I never received any such post
from you. I did receive an apology from you, March 6 after you thought you
had forwarded a very private ritual I sent you, to Susan's list.
Fortunately, you were mistaken .. but if your computer is messing up and
upsetting people, then it is up to you to fix it... not to blame other
people if they complain about it.
>5)So I am harmless...Are you only capable of friendship with people who
>are submissive to you, Angelique?
Yes. Not that how I choose my friends is really any of your business,
and I recognise that this was intended to be an insulting comment... but
frankly, yes. I can be open about it, I am not ashamed of it. I know this
about myself, and I accept that it is so... how Goddess made me. All the
people I am closest to, are submissive, equal, or gentle-respectful... or
Doms who are submissive to me, out of respect for my sensitivity and my
gifts.. two of my slaves are Doms with everybody else.
I too, have a difficulty with excessive empathy, combined with a
touch of ADD resistance reflex. I have a nose for manipulation that is
extremely sensitive, and uncannily accurate. I am very sensitive to
control games and projections, either they knock me right out of my body,
into the witness state where I can see them clearly for what they are,
unfiltered by ego.. or they bring out the berserker in me to send them back
as fire-bombs as a way of returning the karma to sender... which is also an
out of body state, but with the shadow taking over my actions, to protect
me. Instinctive self defense.
Believe me, the efforts I make to temper my own reactions so as to be
mindful of the other sensitives are far, far greater than I ask of anyone
else. More than half the posts I write to the list, either do not get sent
at all, or are laid aside for a day or more so I can detach, and reconsider
before being edited and sent. Even the post that you are responding to, was
set aside while I slept, then re-read, edited and sent. This one will not
be, because if I were any more detached than I am right now, I'd not be
able to type at all.
Similarly, I have been tempted to toss Christ-opher off the list more
than a dozen times, since he joined.. for his manipulative behavior, for
his cross posting, for not being respectful of other paths, for preaching
from a soapbox.. etc. Yet, he is still here, unmoderated, and on occasion I
have even acted to defend him.
It has taken me years to learn to become as gentle as I am, now...
I spend my time with gentle people do not spew manipulation at me, and
so are safe from the berserker of my ADD reflex. Submissive people
appreciate my fire-bombs as a gift, so the war does not get accelerated.
Some of the unsent posts that are deemed too hostile for list consumption
get sent privately to percyval. he thinks they are delicious.
My berserker, when fully activated, will win or die trying. .. that is
the nature of the berserker.. a single minded state and I do not feel my
own wounds till the war is over. If you were a berserker on a spiritual
path, would you hang around aggressive people who might accidentally
provoke such an unstoppable response? It's like the incredible Hulk..
"Don't make me angry, you would not like me when I am angry".. How to deal
with a berserker is the same as how to deal with a raging grizzly. Lie down
flat and be quiet.
If you are wondering why I am not fire-bombing you, but instead
responding to explain... it is because your flame was sufficient to knock
me right out of my body, into the Witness state.. I have a funny little
breaker switch, knocks me into clinical detachment, and with K., that
detachment is Witness state. Unemotional clarity and unconditional love.
Ya know how some people in car accidents describe feeling detached
from the body and seeing things in slow motion? For me, a hostile word will
have the same effect.. no kidding, I surround myself with submissives.. If
I get stuck out of my body too long, it starts to die... my immune system
fails because my body think I'm dead and gone into the light..
Fortunately, I have managed to turn my disadvantages into gifts. That
feeling other people's pain knocks me into the Witness state is incredibly
useful for an empathic healer. It is also useful for a list moderator to
have a breaker switch that allows me to see stuff for what it is.
>6)In your overzealous efforts to protect the "hypersensitive" in this
>group you have completely overlooked me.
I have not overlooked you, at all. I have spent a lot of time giving
you attention and consideration in private mail, and in explaining about
the sensitivities of some list members. In private mail I also explained
that your excessively wordy analyses are very difficult for me to
comprehend. You made no effort to be considerate of this, in our further
correspondence.
>7)I am really not comforted or impressed by your justification for
>"chastizing" Christopher.
I don't care. I have healthy self esteem and no need to impress
anyone. I know and love who I am, and am wise enough to know that I cannot
please all the people all the time. There will always be critics in the
peanut gallery.. and so what?
> In this way you will scare more people away rather than promote healthy
> communication which is a part of your remit.
I am happy to scare away people who are not respectful.. have been
doing so, even before I took over the list, and back then it was only 125
members. Since then, it has flourished to nearly 600, and manifested many
off-shoots when traffic became too busy to be tenable. It has become a
large multi-list community, under my guardianship.
>Needless to say its not very diplomatic nor democratic for vetoes to go
>undebated and be invoked unilaterally on the basis of nepotism.
Tough shit. You have left the list, you no longer get a vote. People
are here because they like the list as it is, they feel safe under my
guardianship and they trust my judgment. If someone doesn't like it, then
many of the K-list offshoots are run by other people... they can go there.
>8)Maybe I have got a deficiency in "netiquette" but I would have thought
>information as opposed to discrimination
Yes. It is not my job to instruct you in nettiquite. It is your job
to learn it, as a net-newbie, and the List guidelines lay it out pretty clear.
>9)Oh puulease! This goes from the sublime to the ridiculous.
:) yep, you do.
>Do you honestly think withdrawal of access "privileges" is a good
>adverstisement for a non-autocratic electronic community?!
I don't care.
>I would rather have my tongue cut out
>that endure your unsollicited dominatrix whims in the public domain.
How very melodramatic..
This is not the public domain. this is an email list, not a newsgroup.
If you care to read the Yahoogroups guidelines they make it quite clear
that the list moderator can pretty much run their list as they think best,
and they also provide the means whereby people can be banned or moderated.
>10)Your asking for trouble by threatening to tarnish my relationship with
>my ISP with aspersions like harrassment.
Nope, I am not. Sending mail to people who have asked not to receive
mail anymore, is harassment, and it is illegal. Forwarding the offending
mail to the provider with a complaint is the recommended way to handle it.
<http://www.stopnetabusers.org/resources/index.html>http://www.stopnetabusers.org/resources/index.html
>Dont take me on Angelique, you may well have met your match and unlike you
>I do not need to publicise my skills in sophistry.
LOL!! I took on the US government customs and immigration for
harassment, and won. They apologised to me. You are small potatoes by
comparison to taking on the most un restrained aspect of the most powerful
government in the world.
Berserker does not take shit from anybody.
>You fancy yourself as quite the femme fatale dont you Angelique?
So I have been told. :)
> Not a message goes by where you havnt reminded us that you are a master
> manipulator, a formidable opponent and not to be fucked with.
Overdramatic exaggeration. However, to my mind .. considering my
condition, offering a warning about it is as considerate as a "beware of
dog" sign on the gate. I keep my shadow side front and center where I can
keep an eye on it, and by example, hope that others would do the same.
>bark is worse than your bite but maybe you should consider retiring the
>old alpha-female impressario routine?
ah, is this prejudice against my sexual orientation? My mouth waters
at the temptation to shred you quite thoroughly for that little politically
incorrect error... in making such a statement you leave your self wide
open... LOL!!
However, you are really not a worthy adversary.. so, I'll set
temptation aside, and merely point out that apparently you are not
sophisticated enough to know that sexual orientation cannot be changed?
Might as well tell a gay man to go straight.
I am my own boss and would urge all
>I am my own boss and would urge all of you to reconsider what
>self-empowerment is if not that one should question authority and think
>for oneself!
You are not asking people to think for themselves, you are telling
people that they need to follow you.
>It is my contention that Angelique has cleverly turned this kundalini
>dicussion group into a playground for her
>dominatrix role playing.
Actually, I have other lists, for that.. ;) My sexual needs are well
met.
>The list owner is perpetrating the most insidious
>of double standards by preaching self empowerment and free will on the one
>hand and submission on the other.
No.. I do not really preach free will, at all, except to victim
types... as you ought to know well, from that essay on Crowley I sent you
privately. I preach that awakened people need to surrender to their own
inner Divinity... which is the fundamental imperative of Kundalini. Guess
you were not listening.. again.
>They are told they are misbehaving because they are ill. The illness here
>is not disagreement; it is the psychological hegemony of one over another.
My aoplogies, Simon.. I did not realize you were misbehaving because
you are ill.. ;)
> Well then, we have really moved on havn't we?
You are moving on, and I think it is for the best..
As for the rest, I suggest that before you go about telling an
experienced list moderator how you think lists need to be handled, you try
the job on for size, yourself. Many people who were judgmental of my
moderation style did exactly that.. and found out for themselves, how
difficult the job can be.
>Finally since this will be my last post I would ask you all to consider
>whether replacing a patriarchal system with a Matriarchal one to be progress!
A judgmental projection, and you are putting words into my mouth..
who is not listening, again?
I have never preached replacing Matriarchy with Patriarchy.. I do
teach that spending time in a Matriarchal system is a good way to bring the
cultural programming of Patriarchy into sharp relief, so that it can be
resolved, and a balanced, "middle path" can be found.
>It would seem that some of us
Speaking for yourself?
> Before I end up another casuality on the scrap heap of
>discredibility
Too late.. ;)
>I refuse to give you the satisfaction of orchestrating an undignified exit
>and instruct you to remove me from the list at once.
Remove yourself.. instructions are below.. In the list guidelines it
does state very clearly that unsubscribing yourself is your own
responsibility.
If you ever want to remove yourself from this mailing list, or from the
digest version of this mailing list, send a blank post to
Kundalini-Gateway-unsubscribeATnospamyahoogroups.com
Be sure to check the header of the incoming list mail, to see by what
address you are subscribed, and send it from that same address.
If you are only going away on vacation, I suggest you simply reset your
subscription to "web only" at <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Kundalini-Gateway>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Kundalini-Gateway
Blessings..
Your faithful K-list servant, ...
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