To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/15 04:56
Subject: Re: [K-list] The silent assassin .. Wlm
From: Wim Borsboom
On 2001/03/15 04:56, Wim Borsboom posted thus to the K-list:
Dear List,
The following is somewhat explicit and may at first not show a certain
amount of compassion... However compassion comes easier once one has
identified one's tormentor, understood him or her, and has been able to
break oneself free. This 'freeing' is sometimes done in rude or crude ways.
I tell you though, that this rudeness does not come close to the torment
received. It still takes some years after that to come clean altogether as
so much violation still sticks to us... eventually it works out... when one
frees oneself one helps freeing one's ancestors...
Dear Christopher,
You wrote:
> She was referring to her biological mother - not a mother ego.
Yes yes,
I did understand that well, about Fiona's biological mother. I did maybe
answer somewhat simplistic... but I see Fiona's intense work all the way
through what she wrote...
> In several instances, I have confronted this woman with
> the time, place, content and context of her prayer ..
>
> as one was a prayer for the severing of our relationship
> (to both St Jude and the Lady of Perpetual Succour)
I used to work for many years in a church with that name. I even have a
beautiful buste sculpture of this representation of Mary. (The church got
torn down.)
Yes, there can be no empathy and patience with a person's manipulations.
Emmy and myself experienced similar circumstances as you and Fiona do now,
it seems; when Emmy's father was still 'alive'... a most nasty ego in a
sometimes well willing person.
Emmy had to crucify him, that patriarchal bearded god / father hanging on
the cross not as Jesus but as her own father. At some point in an ugly
little church in northeren France (they have mostly beautiful churches in
France, but Emmy was lucky that she found this one), she told him... the
manipulative sufferer, while hanging there looking miserable: "you basterd,
always making me feel guilty, what have I done wrong, that I am a daughter
instead of a son? Always calling us kids 'good for nothings' we could never
be good enough unless it was to please you... She then urinated on the
church floor... such relief... that is now 32 years ago...
Of course there is more but this is enough...
> Fiona's mother has confirmed these prayers,
> the time, date and context .. and said that she will continue,
> laughing that we heard what she was pray (prey) ing.
Emmy's father used to come from Holland to Canada where we live to visit the
emigrated daughters. At one point when the potatoes were not to his liking,
after Emmy did not accept a manipulative gift, she picked him up put him in
the car with his suit cases and send him on his way back to Holland...
Three years later he appreciated Emmy as the only child who was open and
straightforward with him. (Of course he had made the others too scared to
speak up.) He never came with gifts anymore.
He did not die a saint, as he had many daughters who are still dealing with
him. He is at the moment in a holding pattern... in a realm that used to be
called purgatory...
Not easy this, not a lovely story... but such is suffering
Love and compassion and understanding to you and you, dear Fiona.
Wim
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