To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/08 07:42
Subject: Re: [K-list] Questions on Witnessing and process....
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/03/08 07:42, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
whew! what a post.. lots of questions so I will make lots of snips and
try to touch the essence.
At 06:54 AM 3/8/01, SHELLY COLSTON wrote:
>Hi All,
>First..Mystress, thanks for forwarding my post! Duh,dee 'til I train the
>brain here to not hit reply to author!
sigh.. maybe I need to put it to a vote whether to switch the list
format to reply going to the list? Would take the old members some time to
get used to.. be lots of private mail getting posted by accident till new
habits formed.
Hillary, will you make a poll?
>Also this time as K went up..I felt and saw it burn a much wider path up
>the spinal area this time then last..like now it moves up in a 4 '' wide
>upwards path? Is this common to notice with each full successive FULL
>release/blast???
hmm.. common.. yes no maybe.. it is not unusual. As your blockages
are cleared there is room for more energy to flow. Mine goes up my whole
body in waves of goosebumps. If I feel someplace where it does not flow, I
surrender the blockage.
>Okay my question/story concerning the 'witness' state and process....I
>seem to swinging or moving from being in this state strongly...into
>something else now and was wondering if this is forward movement or am I
>just ego resisting yet?
hahaha.. this is a funny question. Of course you are moving forward,
time is moving forward, everything is moving forward..the planet turns on
its orbit, the sun flies through the galaxy on its charted path.
It is when people try to go backward, to recreate K-fire events of the
past, that they get into despair.
Ego is the part that wants to measure your progress on some kind of
measuring stick. There is no stick. There is only.. how do you feel? good?
Good!
>This flow ,a flow of moving from almost constantly in the witness state,
>is moving into realization I STILL Am having emotion again..but emotion is
>more subtle and feels clearer and lighter ?? LOL..I am not I suppose being
>hit over the head anymore with my own emotions?
yes. Witness anaestesia and awareness/observation while Karma is
cleared: after, there is less karma, less re-acting to the emotional
memories of the past.. fewer buttons to be poked.
>Also the wondering of well...where did I go, am I even bloody here
>anymore?Who am I anymore...what do I even' like' anymore for goodness sakes??
I dunno what I am.. infinite nameless nothing? what is that? Who is
that? I dunno, I call it Mystress coz what I am a mystery even to me.
Like, not like.. good.. bad.. all judgments. If you have not so many,
is it not a blessing?
> What I mean here, is I am not getting entangled and yet I am still
> connecting in life and with life..but with divine flow instead?? ..I
> still can be here and participate in life 101..but with a calm now and
> what I feel is a deeper peaceful divine energy? Yes, this feels very
> strange yet!!
"In the world, but not of it."
> and losing the responses I would have that drained me before,because I
> would hook in my own energy? I don't know if this is making sense?
Running out of pokeable buttons.. :)
> So I am swinging from witness to find..emotion and feeling is still here!!
sure. If you want to know if you still have emotion, look for
beauty. Sunsets, trees, flowers, human compassion, music.. make you weep
joy tears and have energy orgasms.
>So...'emotion' is then Okay and perhaps impossible not to feel somewhat if
>one is still sucking earth air or am I just losing ground here and this
>maybe more resisting the process?
No, it is beauty. Who wants to become a robot?
We don't lose our emotions with enlightenment, we refine them into Divine
manifestation. Spirit having the experience of being fully human.
There is another stage, yet..Wim could describe it better... when even
sadness and pain take on such a bittersweet sweetness that the beauty of
the human condition brings beauty-tears.. Romeo and Juliet. Poignant sweet
tragedy.. so wondrously human.
The real Robot is the one who reacts to programming.
>Any words of wisdom would be very welcome.
Wisdom? I dunno.. I write what I see, and people think me wise.. or
ignorant? Ignorance is bliss, they say..:) I have bliss, so I must be dumb
as a rock.. mind you, I have known some very wise rocks ...
>I also found this helps too...when I am struggling with 'surrender'(clue I
>am resisting... is a tinge of fear and that confusion starting)..I go
>outside and sit on the ground yoga style or lay flat out on trampoline..I
>then just tune in and become very aware of all the elements in
>balance..earth, wind, sun, water..etc...and soon I settle and accept!
Yes.. one of the first meditations I learned, was to listen to all
the environmental sounds around me, just listen without identifying or
judging... but really hearing everything.
Usually humans are so single-focused.. like me sitting here for hours
staring at computer not leaving my desk, narrow focus to task, hearing
nothing, not even my own keystrokes... computer screen and cigarettes my
whole universe.
Soft focus, wide focus.. look straight ahead with eyes but expanding
awareness of what can be seen in the peripheral, diffuses thought.
On the phone with Paul, the other night.. his ego mind wanted to
understand God.. :) I gave him a visualization to demonstrate it is not
possible to comprehend the Infinite. I was doing this
visualization/meditation for my own amusement, age 13.
Think of the solar system.. start with Earth and sun, expand to
include all the planets.. then the galaxy.. then more galaxies, and more
and more and more.. and just when you have all the galaxies you can hold in
your head, realize that is still not infinite and add a few more..
stretch!!! Your brain will just boggle and give up when you hit your
limit of comprehension.. falling short of "infinite".. and you will have a
sense of peace, in the surrender.
My druid had a thought he would think, when things were getting him
down. "The eagles in Scotty Bay don't give a damn about this." Took him out
of himself, out of his problems into the bigger picture. Into being instead
of thinking.
Similar to, "will it matter, in 100 years? 1000 years?" Existential
meditations.
>Thanks in advance for any input concerning where I am 'AT' in process..and
>if I should just keep going in this vein or re-focus?
Surrender your measuring stick. It will take, as long as it takes.
You are at, where ever you are at. Where ever you are at, is exactly where
you need to be, in the here and now. Perfection. The joy is in the journey.
There is no destination.
Time and space do not truly exist, they say...yesterday is a memory,
tomorrow is a dream.. so .. journey deeper into here and now.
>Still smoking here too,but much less..
The smoking will pass, when you are done with it.. me too.. judging
yourself for it only makes quitting harder.
>Many Blessings!
>Shelly
blessings to you, too.. :)
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