To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/02/15 15:01
Subject: Re:[K-list] The Search
From: Fiona and Christopher
On 2001/02/15 15:01, Fiona and Christopher posted thus to the K-list:
>Hello
Hello Mike
>What I am about to say does not come out of some sort of a
>depression or an attempt to fight against beliefs but a short
>list of experiences and a sad possibility that I have
>considered. So if you have felt this way in your life at one
>time or another then make a comment. it ended up being pretty
>long so sorry if it is to long to read. Its my shortened
>spiritual path. And covers about 6 or so years.
Yours is a story I have heard so often both in my group work
and on my own discussion list
>I have always been intrested in human character. About 18
>years old I became converted to a religion by because of an
>experience of love rushing in my body and a knowing that the
>future would be just fine.
Depends who the group was and where the expereince happened
this is common for some religious organisations which use the
principles of "mesmerism" and "group hysteria" to create an
overpowering thought-form which can overtake an individual ..
then they call it a "vision" or something like that and tell you you
are "saved" ..
when all it is .. is the experience of carefully choreographed
mind control ...
>I became a seeker at this point.
at the end of all seeking, the seeker is the one sought.
>And those of you who are 'seekers' which most probably are, you
>know what I mean. Not just an interest in life, but an obsession
>and an addiction that has not ended.
driven by the though-form generated by the religion ..
the need for approval, acceptance and belonging to
the tribe.
>I studieds scripture and received a similar energy rush.
That depends who wrote, translated or authorised the
scriptures you read .. many have been tampered with
to produce just these effects .. patterns in words can
cause mesmerism of the mind, and the body takes
over with a rush of energy ..
this need not mean anything, but again it is used by
the religions to emphasise their position and to drive
you deeper into their "clutches"
>I had one more of these love experiences within this year of
>religious conversion. I went on a religious teaching mission.
>I had many experiences while talking to people about spiritual
>things.
Which is what they wanted you to do right from the beginning
and is part of their "Big Brother Control" mentality ..
I can gues who these people are .. I've had a bit of fun
with some of their missionaries from time to time ..
I showed a couple of them some things and they
refused to go back to America ..
>One of them was something that someone has called astral sight.
Wveryone has this if they want to access it. The realm of the astral
is the energy level which corresponds to the emotional body
and the third chakra .. the element of water .. it is the energy
generated by the emotions of the people
>While talking to people on occasion my vision would distort and
>then come into focus with much more detail and emotion. I had
>to surrender and not think to much or it would vanish.
Yup .. this is the way it works ..
>There motions moved within me. This would happen not at will
>but when there was focus on two ends???? I followed spiritual
>voices and feelins and had alot of coincedences. I became very
>sure of my beliefs.
Aaaah .. yes, they want you to do this .. it is part of their
mind control and manipulation methods ...
>After my mission I was not satisfied with my feelins of love
>and my relationship with God.
Yup .. part of you, deep inside, saw through them ..
saw the lie ... after a time, the sort of things they use
can cause deep reactions from within the physical body
>Although I was very strict in my views I found myself not
>loving like I thought that Jesus was talking about.
Yes .. the question arises, who was this Jesus character ..
The one talked about in the bible is not the Jesus of
religion .. the religious Jesus is a thoughtform to which
a name has been ascribed. The one in the bible
was Yoshua ben Miriam. There is no < J > in Greek,
Latin or Hebrew ..
>My cry to God, this doesn't work, if you don't give me
>something else I am done with the whole thing. then the spirit
>said 'the law is dead and you are alive in Christ'
Referring to the consciousness or state of being
named the "christ consciousness"
which is not a personification as religion trys to educate us into,
but an awareness of self in relation to other
called by some "Buddha Consciousness"
>Well that opened up a whole new world. The scriptures didn't
>mean the same any more it was a new world.
Yup .. the evolution in consciousness does this ..
instead of reading one word at a time, you start to
read phrases, then sentences, then whole pages ..
and then the energy between the words starts to
make sense ..
Like when you climb a mountain .. down in the valley
you cannot see the view .. it's only by climbing the
mountain that you get to see the swamp you are standing in
>Through this and my deeper studies I began floating from
>religion. i studied easter philosophy, (allen watts, buhdism,
>anthony de mello, ug krishnamurti, j. krishnamurti) Not to
>mention several other books. I went through a phase of wanting
>to see Jesus and talked to a few people who had regular
>conversations with him???
Mostly, I gather, books written through the minds of people
who had the same genetic religious background as your
parents .. the scriptures of other cultures cannot be translated
clearly into English because ALL of the spiritual terminology
used in the west originated from the doctrine and dogma of
the Church of Rome as their scripture got translated into
the English language.
>
>I began seeing all the relgious teachings as symbols of deeper
>realities or concepts of the mind of man.
Yup .. and this of course, goes against the
teaching of those in power in the religions
who want to control everyone.
>All religions became true in a sence and I had to go through a
>time of feeling very negative about my religious brainwashing.
aaaahhh .. you have seen it ... good ..
but wait, there is more .. <g>
>I started studying max skousen (maxskousen.com) who came from
>the same relgion as myself, his teaching which came from the
>same scriptures helped me to come to terms terms with my
>religion later (at least conciously)
yup .. that's the mind for you ..
BUT ..
there will always be disquiet
until you tell the life support system for the brain
(called the body) what you have found out.
>Eventually I became disfellowshiped for premarrital sex, not to
>mention the drinking, and psychedelic drug experiments they
>don't know about.
Good stuff .. how did you enjoy it ..
or are you, somewhere deep inside, carrying an
unconscious belief that you are a "sinner"
If you are, you'd better get that one out of your body
otherwise it'll let your brain down.
>On the side the psychedelic drugs showed me a couple things but
>nothing to the extent to satisfy me to believe that this was a
>path that lead to knowing who you are like some teachers
>believe.
Well mike .. from the experiences of myself and a few others,
teachers can't teach you anything unless they have been there
and had the experiences for themselves .. the others are
merely parrotting the words from someone else.
I can tell you that it is possible to know who you are
and what the whole of your evolution has been ..
right back to the beginning point of you ..
and this memory is stored as a "computer code" in every
cell of your physical body ..
and it can be accessed, once you clean out all of the
stuff you have been taught is "the way it is"
and you will express it in your words, from your knowing ..
not is the way someone else needs you to express it ..
and then it is YOUR truth.
>I had a quick glimpse of the cosmic conciousness by getting a
>perception outside my mind.
Yup ..
>This happened two days in a row. the first day was a view of
>my mind or ego. The complex pride of the mind. Wow we are all
>the same and we all take our place in life and I don't have to
>'do' anything. ahhhhh what a relief.
What is looking is what you are looking for
>The next day I got a glimpse of Now let me tell you where I am
>now.
>I am interested in light and sound machines, hemy-sync and out
>of body experiences.
Dangerous stuff ..they play tricks with the mind and the brain
but for every part of the brain, there is an opposite pole
down in the thing below the neck called body.
You can do what you like with mind, but body will keep
you coming back to earth .. and eventually create bipolar
dissorder.
People forget that 90% of all brain function starts from the
body, and the mind is the last to know,
>I am starting to wonder if these meditation techniques are good
>for relaxation and reduce stress but thats all.
another form of mesmerism .. like the religion you once fell into
>We can't leave the body because thats all we are. A body with
>a chaotic mind.
the 90% of the mind we are not conscious of is located in
the cells of the body.
Its only chaotic because the left brain is like a 1 bit computer ..
either on or off .. while the body and the right brain is, by
comparison, a 100Mbit computer .. the neural pathways
are wider
there is no chaos when you climb to the top of the
mountain .. except the mountain on the other side
of the valley. The velley is within you .. and you will
find everything starts to make sense when you go
down deep enough to find the point where the sides
of the mountain meet.
> All input from the outside world is just stimuli on the brain
>but nothing special. Nothing escpecially beautiful. Nothing
>especially ugly. there is no truth, there is no conciousness of
>me being a God or having anything to do with the collective
>conciousness.
Yes and no .. nothing to do with god .. or being a god,
but you are part of the collective consciousness
and the collective consciousness dwells in you as you ..
and the outside world is a mirror of that
and everything that you react to is something
which needs resolution inside your self.
>Religion is good for morals and prideful in their views. Don't
>make stupid decisions because it may make things harder for you
>and other people. Have a good time because well its funner that
>way.
Yup ..
>But as far as spirituality??? What is that? Is there a
>spiritual reality? I am not sure. While meditation for oobe I
>have felt the vibrations that are spoken of here (no awakening)
give it time .. you are going through the phase of
disenchantment with your religious experience
>But I am beggining to doubt that any of these spiritual things
>exist outside the creation of the mind.
correct .. and once you get through this shit into the truth
then you will see things differently. The other 8 commandments
were only written because people cound not understand the first
two ..
>A few things blow my mind, Trees grow fruit the size of a mans
>hand and hang it about eye level so we can pick it and eat it,
>oh and its healthy. We reproduce through sex and create a being
>like us. Wow!!!!!
yep .. and as you go deeper, you will understand the need for
sex, and the need for humans to procreate that way.
Humans have forgotten that once they were androgyne and
procreated by mitosis.
>You gota be kidding me. If there isn't a God deciding these
>things then this must be some sort of thought or dream and it
>came into existence some how and now I am bless (cursed?) with
>an awareness of it all.
>So is there anything beyond physical? is there anything beyond
>the seen?
there are levels of seeing beyond what is seen by the
physical eyes .. many of them. We can only see with the
physical eyes what we have been taught to see ...
Hang in there ...
>At least anything that concern me other then electricty and
>atoms?
lots more .. and it's fun.
>
>This view doesn't make me jump for joy but doesn't depress me
>other then I feel like I need to decide to stop looking ( if I
>only could) Is it all philisophical jargon but doesn't stand in
>'reality'
good
>I don't pray like I used to, am I talking to myself, and who or
>what am I talking to.
that part of you which knows more than your left brain
is prepared to admit you know.
>I do meditate.
True meditation is the art of doing nothing
and being everything. Now, when you stop doing
meditation and allow that meditation can do you,
meditative or reflective consciousness can become
your consensur reality.
>Do we not have the right to understand our own existence?
Why not .. there are some who do ..
and once you get rid of the concept of "god/dess"
you will find that this IS your birthrite.
>Is there anything more then survival?
Yes .. but first you have to go beyond the fear of death
then survival is not an issue
>All the masters cry 'yes.. yes!' And now I begin to say, 'i
>don't know...' maybe its not as great as we would like to
>think.
True .. there are those who sell an idea or promise
in order to control or make money ..
>Some of these words sound like enlightened teachers from some.
nope .. a truly enlightened teacher doesn't use "spiritual words"
>Well the cypher (from the matrix) in me says' I choose the
>matrix' Then the neo in me says what if theres more.
>And this battle continues because neo isn't dead, and either is
>cypher, and trinity won't say anything.
You won't find trinity until you find the missing link is the
energy is that which is found at the bottom of the deepest
valley .. the energy of the core ..
but first, you've got to come down out of the
arified air of the mountain top .. whichever
one you are on.
>I would assume that morpheus is smiling in the corner with his
>child like faith that I don't want to listen to anymore.
>And so it is and thus is the battle of the ego. And is this IT.
... te he .. te he .. te he ....
>I would like not to think so but have no other real experience
>to say otherwise.
Yes you have .. when you were an infant ..
before parents, religion and society
conditioned you out of it
>Cypher says thats it. Neo says 'no wait somebody is going to
>email the list and tell you where you stand and tell you that
>this is a good step' >
>Then cypher says' NO quit believing in all of morpheus's crap.
>I am not depressed. a little angry maybe. A little unfufilled
>maybe. Anyway if you read this thanx for your time.
no comment ..
did you understand what I have written here ..?
>Love your cursed seeker and brother Mike
Christopher Wynter
Hobart Tasmania
>p.s. my age is 24 and recently married to a wonderful girl who
>understand me. if this sheds light on my position in life.
Now find the person she is reflecting inside yourself ..
that wonderful female aspect of you ..
because if you don't, the marriage will sour
as your inner needs change.
CW
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