To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/02/12 07:00
Subject: Re: [K-list] your opinion on healing
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/02/12 07:00, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 08:21 PM 2/11/01, Vickie Novak wrote:
>This is something I was just talking to my husband about. Some months
>back I felt I understood why this stuff happened and didn't feel 'victimized'.
>Something has happened in the last few months. It's like I forgot. Maybe
>I actually felt victimized and didn't realize it and now it is coming up
>to be looked at and healed. I don't know. Could it have come from someplace
>else?
>I at one time thought I knew this. What is the reason for feeling this
>again? I guess I didn't know it well enough.
Vickie, Karma is contagious.. you healed it within yourself, then your
intention to heal others, on a vaster scale made you pick it up again from
those who have not yet healed. You asked to help, and a way to help was
given to you.
Now that you explain this, it all comes clearer... your wanting to heal
on an energetic level.. you are already doing that! That's what all this is.
Welcome to the world of the empathic healer. Karmic Vampire games, I
call it. Feed on the negative energy karma junk of other people, take it on
yourself. Process it within yourself, by seeing perfection and applying
surrender, gratitude and forgiveness, and it lifts from them,
too.. healing on an energetic level. Outside-inside changing the world by
processing the outside, inside of yourself. You asked for it.. Goddess
provides.
If you see perfection most of the time, then you are probably
ascended.. a dead woman like me. (Undead.. Vampire.. LOL!! Feeds on bad
karma energy, not blood.) Us dead people have to be always mindful of
energetic hygiene, clear stuff out every day, like as soon as it lands
before it becomes embedded and we forget it is not ours.. or we get pulled
into someone else's personality, grow a new ego out of the bits and end up
stuck in separation again.
Yup, it's like taking on ego bits from other people, stray aspects
of their personality and beliefs, and it is really easy to get stuck in
them and forget who you are and what you believe... can be a dangerous game.
Does that sound weird? Yes it does, but having experienced it, you can
understand what I mean. That is what happened to you.
Happens to me all the time, I call on my Tribe to help me get out when
I bite off more than I can chew and get stuck. Right now the fire within me
is burning a little dimmer, not quite the intoxicating radiant joy of
Heaven.. which means I've taken on stuff and need to process and clear.
Work to do. Some of it is yours, I don't mind.. your forgiveness makes it
easy to clear. :)
That is probably the answer to your question about what you can do. The
message of the compassionate heart. This time, you did it by accident so
you got stuck in it trying to find the way out. You can learn to do it
consciously.. awareness/mindfullness clears the pitfalls and makes the
whole process go much easier.
I can teach you, usually I teach students by clearing them, as
demonstration then letting them work on me, for practice.
(Sound familiar, Augustin?)
For us, the un-dead, there is only Heaven or Hell.. we are kind of
polarized... not much middle ground. When we are clear, life is bliss and
Grace.. Heaven. Take on a bit of Karma, and it serves as a magnet for more
karma, and you start to grow a new ego out of the bits, and that becomes a
slippery slope into Hades. Separation from Goddess... all the more painful
for having known Grace.
I say, "Better a slave in Heaven than King of Hell".. and I'm a happy
slave in Heaven, unified with Goddess except when Goddess/compassion/Good
intentions bids me to go be King of Hell tour guide to lead somebody else
out of there. By playing "Devil's advocate".. get it? :) LOL!!
My name has a lot of meanings.. Archangel Lucifer, is one meaning..
Kundalini Serpent, Feathered Serpent, rainbow serpent, Caduceus, all one.
That Archangel with the scary name, only appears as a Dark Force, in the
lower chakra universes.. where he is a reflection of your own fear,
magnified. Ugly mirror tough love.
It is only when he descends to play Bad Cop reflection, that he appears
dark and scary. Above the heart, there was no "fall", he is still the most
beautiful Angel.. he outranks all the rest.. and he is an aspect of everyone.
What Jung called the Shadow side. Ego is who you think you are, the
Shadow is everything you think you are not.. to truly become All that Is,
you have to integrate the Shadow. The Shadow is a reflected manifestation
of the Karma that is the separation from Goddess. The Veil. Shadow self
shows up and says Hello, so you can see yourself, love yourself even in
your ugly places. Tough love takes bigger compassion, than gentleness..
bigger risk. The passion in compassion.
What Shamans call the Portal Guardian.. his other name is Death. Death
is the doorway to the Light. In a near death experience, you re-experience
all of your old unforgiven stuff, and the love too.. so you can forgive.
Kundalini, is the same process, but slower. Death-in-life. Rebirth as
undead Vampire.. Boddhisattva.. and eventually, if you get bored of the
game, Buddha!
So, some folks like you, who have experienced the nonduality can see
the compassion in what I do, reflecting.. recognise that it is a gift. :)
To others I appear as a scary bad Witch judgmental critical B*tch, and
they ban me from their lists..!! LOL!!
The trouble is, I see Goddess in everyone, and I cannot always tell how
I will be seen.. if I will be forgiven for my bad cop role. Sometimes I
can. When I write, sometimes I can hear the thoughts of those who will read
it, in the future..when I speak I hear the telepathy.. but even so, it is
always a leap of faith. Sometimes they get back to me to thank me, years
later.. or never.
I don't go looking for Karma unless someone speaks up to tell me where
their fear is... overtly or between the lines, or though their actions..
telling me about it is giving it to me, to reflect back.
I always have the option to keep my mouth shut, let it ride.. and
sometimes I do.. but indifference is not the same as love. If I want to
choose indifference, total detachment, I can always go back to sitting on
my ass under the Boddhi tree. Choose inaction and let the Shakti-field
handle it.
In the writing of Dante, in the center of the 13 circles of Hell there
is a portal straight back to the Light. Take on some Karma and get stuck in
Hell, you have to dive deeper in, to get to the center where you can
teleport out again.
So, we dived in deeper. You said, "look at the plight of the Natives",
I said, "Look at all of the oppression in human history, competition in
nature, and what the Natives do to themselves with their victim beliefs."
If the crown chakra shuts down and you cannot go up to see perfection,
sometimes it is best to dig the hole you are stuck in, bigger and deeper
till you go through the underworld to reach the light at the center of the
Earth.. then the upflow from touching the Fiery crystal at the center will
blast you clean. That is the Heroes Journey.. Dante, Inanna, Persephone's
marriage. All one. Many metaphors, one journey. One road..
The thing is, working it out mentally/emotionally like this, is doing
things the hard way. It is much easier to deal with it, by seeing it as
aura patterns. Surrendering the blockages as abstract patterns of energy
without getting emotionally involved, or needing to give reasons to the ego
to persuade it to surrender. When you can deal with it as energy, the work
is a breeze.
Doing it the hard way a few times gives you practice, so it gets
easier.. :)
Gratitude and forgiveness are the only sword and armor for the road
out. Seeking to see perfection, persistently.. Surrender, faith, trusting
to love.. "Yea tho I walk thru the valley of death I will fear no evil..
" Fear gets you stuck in a trap.
Above the gates of Hell, in Dante, it says "Abandon all hope, Ye who
enter here". Sage advice for the underworld traveller.. in Hell, even hope
shows it's duality, fear of the future and a desire to control. Hope must
be surrendered. Stop hoping for human nature to change... it is a trap.
Good intentions of Charity, too. Ego ideas of charity, in Hell, shows
the duality that you do not trust Goddess to provide for all Her Children,
do not trust to perfection of what Is.. judging the soul game of Maya.
Surrender and faith make the magic of the loaves and fishes. Projections of
scarcity do not.
When you are clear and seeing perfection, you are in Heaven, but like
Archangel Lucifer we come down to be King of Hell by taking on the
"sins"=Karma of those who hold stuff that is unforgiven. "The road to Hell
is paved with Good Intentions".
My Good intentions to heal takes me down that road pretty often! LOL!!
Like tonight, staying up till 6 am writing this, when I have a dentist
appointment at 3. :)
So did yours.. your desire to help those natives less fortunate, less
"Enlightened" than yourself caused you to play Boddhisattva and take the
stuff on, surrender it on their behalf. When you clear it from yourself,
it lifts from them, too!! Easier for you, because you have "been there,
done that." You can remember the road out, you know the way. This time you
forgot and got stuck, all the better to be mindful, next time.
Unless the person you take it on from, refuses to surrender it, once
you have taken it on.. then it gets trickier. You have to be careful to
listen to your heart, about what is food.. your work, and what is somebody
else's problem. My discernment is sometimes kind of rusty in that
direction. I prefer to be asked, out loud.
The only useful application of the blame/victimhood/God-projection
dynamic, is to barf back Karma that you take on, but cannot process because
the owner is not willing or ready to give it up. Not done with it yet.
Free will is Goddess law, She will not accept something that belongs to
someone else, if they resist the surrender. So blame makes them be God for
you instead, and is a way to give the karma junk back.. as a last resort.
There are other ways to "return to sender".. depends on how stuck you get..
When I get really plugged up, my higher chakras shut down, I lose my
connection to Spirit, and after that my K-fired immune system crashes and I
get sick.. undead body starts to die.. Vampire went for a snack and instead
got a stake in the heart. :(
So, sometimes I have to resort to desperate measures, and that's when
you will see me spewing blame and complaining about being a victim.
Painful. Alpha wolf chewing my own leg off to get free of a trap...
attachment to somebody else's junk that they are holding on to.
These days I stay more detached.. stable, clear stuff by reaching out
to pick fleas off, or with laser beam blasts without taking it on, myself..
or simply reflecting it back, as I have mostly been doing with you ..but my
compassionate heart.. sometimes has other ideas. :) I've got no boundaries
unless I deliberately choose to shield, and I prefer not to, because that
too is a kind of fear.. so, energy hygiene has to be an every day
mindfullness. Give it up to Goddess and what She won't take gets labeled
"Return to sender" and mailed back, via Archangel courier.
I have been playing this role for so many lifetimes. The more I do it,
the bigger I expand into the infinite and so counting lifetimes becomes
absurd. No linearity.
I wrote once that Boddhisattvas are the party animals of duality.. the
vow, to keep incarnating till all beings are "Saved" is also a projection..
a decision to keep on playing the game, because everything is already
saved, if you choose to see it. I do see it, but I love the game.. :)
Welcome to the Boddhisattva club, Vickie.. :)
Blessings..
The dreamer, seeks to run from fear.. but that is as useless as trying to
outrun your shadow.
The Litany against Fear, from "Dune":
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain." ~Frank Herbert.
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