2001/02/02 08:12-Jb789-[K-list] Which is the dream ?

To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/02/02 08:12
Subject: [K-list] Which is the dream ?
From: Jb789

On 2001/02/02 08:12, Jb789 posted thus to the K-list:

Hi,

Lately, when I wake up in the morning, I noticed that the mind gets
busy with jb's life.. thoughts about the coming day, the relationship
to the girl-friend, the relations at work, my 'spiritual'-status,
various apprehensions..
And they're all in relation to some-one/thing or situation. It feels
like landing in a theater-drams with already predefined roles, and
their interaction. And the roles seem to be quite fixed, rigid and
imposing themselves on one's participation in the drama. It's like
the script is already laid out, with not many modifications possible.

Having all this thrown at one during one's first moments of waking
up, can generate a certain, 'oh Jeez, her I go again.. back to life'
and a certain resistance.

But lately, all this awake-life-drama 'strikes' me as essentially a
dream; not much different from the sleep-dream. A difference though
seems to be, that upon waking up, one returns to the -same dream.. a
continuation, while the sleep-dreams, they all vary with rare
exceptions.

So somehow, now, when I wake up I feel appropriate to say 'well, ok,
back to the dream,.. again'; and when going to sleep, I started to
feel like I am waking up.

I remember a question, from some Chineze tradition:
"so who are you ?.. the man who says that I dreamt that I was a
butterfly or the butterfly who says I am dreaming I am a man ?".

I should add that, somehow, regarding the daily awake-life as a dream
(and I do not mean of course trying to talk myself into the 'all is
illusion' slogan) makes the begining of the day smoother and
less 'seriously' threatening.
And perhaps I forgot to mention the most important reason for my
seeing it as a 'dream'..:
Have you noticed how opinions/evaluations about people/situations,
conclusions, criteria for decisions for action, fluctuate, change
like a mirage into, sometimes, their opposites ?!
One day one might think one thing, the next day or next moment the
opposite, and back again.

Where, I feel, the seeing of these facts might lead, is the
confession that the thought/feeling structure ('mind') is absolutelly
Un-reliable and inappropriate tool/guide for Living, and consequently
its non-use. Thought is a good tool for learning to read/write,
count, one's job and remember where one has placed one's keys,.. but
using the mind-glasses on to 'read' Life ?!..
goodness gracious me !.. What a mess !, ..
until then, the mind-glasses semm to be securily and desperately
glued to one's 'nose'..

Can you relate to this ?
jb.

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To: K-list Recieved: 2001/02/02 08:12 Subject: [K-list] Which is the dream ? From: Jb789

To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/02/02 08:12
Subject: [K-list] Which is the dream ?
From: Jb789