To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/01/26 17:29
Subject: Re: [K-list] to Carol.
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/01/26 17:29, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 04:37 PM 1/25/01, Carol C. wrote:
>Dear Angelique,
>Thank you again. This has been a painful week of looking in the mirror at
>me, and not much liking the things seen.
Carl Jung said, "There is no coming to consciousness, without pain."
Growing pains..
>You are right; I can be judgmental and
>intolerant of intolerance, not always, but sometimes. Most of the things you
>said about me were right on. The result has been what feels like
>fragmentation,
>and when I look in the mirror today,there is nothing. I do not know how to
>explain that.
Some aspects of who you think you are, your ego, is fragmenting and
blowing away to make room for .... for what you Truly are, to come forth..
>It is a strange feeling, but somehow also a peaceful feeling. I am nothing.
Yes. To make a place for the peace of being Nothing. What you Truly are.
Many years ago, playing past life games with my slaves, we were being
soldiers from the Boer war.. My focus was on them, then they asked, who I
was being.. so I turned inward and asked "who am I?" and fell into the
Void.. Vast and incomprehensible. I asked what is This, and The Voice said
"I am infinite I am nameless nothing", and showed me scenes of the stars
and planets being born of the Will of It's infinite creativity. Then It
told me It was Me!
I did not understand it, could not believe it. I "bookmarked" the place
in my mind so I could find it again without the crutch... Then started
looking in books to find what Goddess was nameless infinite Nothing.. Still
makes me smile, to remember my folly... seeking a name for the
un-nameable... a form for the infinite..
Namelessness is inconvenient, so I call It, "Goddess".
Others call it, Void, Self, Buddha-nature, Dreamtime..
Out of the Void of Nothing came a Voice, that said, "Let there be
Light", and there was Light.. The Light, too, is It's child.
>When I first joined the K list it was because of feeling a need to progress,
>and not being sure what that meant, just feeling the need. I think I was
>envisioning more Light, but feel now maybe this fragmenting was necessary.
Yes.
I saw, what was up with you.. It's hard to put into words, .. I hear
what people say.. and sometimes, I hear what they do not know they are
asking for.. and I give that to them, as best I can.. and sometimes, they
forgive me for it. :)
>You were right to poke at me.
>I needed to be hit on the head with my own dross, and you do it so well,
>Angelique!
>Do not take offense, because I am smiling.
Carol, I am not offended.. your gratitude brings tears of joy to my
eyes.. because you really SEE me. So often, I am misunderstood...
Yes, I do it very well, it is my finest Art.. To come out of the bliss
of Nothing, to be Something.. to be a sharp stick, a hand that slaps, an
ugly mirror, a bomb that explodes...blowing up egos with "tough love"
spankings from the Zen Master's cane.
It is such a rare and precious gift, for me to receive thanks for it..
your gratitude, for my playing the role of being your Demon, is the
sweetest gift any human can give me... my cup runneth over, flowing out my
eyes.. I bow to you, and lay my heart at your feet...
>Now I will just be peaceful for a while and let this unfold.
Yes.. rest in the peace of Nothing.
>Blessings and Love, Angelique
Blessings and love, to you...
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