To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/01/11 05:12
Subject: Re: [K-list] K for Kundalini or C for Crazy?
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2001/01/11 05:12, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 01:59 PM 1/10/01, mistressofthe8thhouse wrote:
As I sat cuddling with
>my boys yesterday morning I wondered exactly what all the tears had been
>about. In an odd sense it didn't seem like it was me who had actually shed
>them. All I felt was an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love.
Yes. Lovely. When the Karma is really shed, what remains is just a
memory so soft it seems like it happened to someone else, in another
lifetime. You remember the tears, but the emotions that provoked them are
gone... and in it's place, there is peace.. love, gratitude.. :)
> > I have just taken a leap of faith and done something Goddess has been
> > pushing me to do, for many years.
>
>Perhaps you should have done it sooner:-)
should have, would have, could have.. What use are these words? The
past is perfection. The time was not yet right, then.. and now it is.
>As I said, I DO feel much better. Some would say that my reaction is merely
>psychosomatic, but I know in my heart that it is much more than that. :-)
I'm so glad you are feeling better!
> > Oy, throw out what ever spook gave you that info!
>
> <LOL> 'Twas a spook I encountered at a recent Pyschic Fair in Toronto....
Ah so.. yes, many psychics depend on spirits for information, instead
of the voice of the Heart.. and spirits often have an agenda, to feed on
negative emotions. Why depend on a middleman, when you can speak to
God-dess, directly? But still, I see great beauty in some of my spirit
friends, Chacmool, the Stag King, Archangel Michael...
> This warrior woman has held back tears for many years :-) I have always
>feared that people would use my tears as weapons against me. I think I will
>probably have to fight several more battles before I win the war, and
>actually take off the armour ;-) I AM learning though.... Just very slowly
>:-)
I know.. if we are judged for tears, it makes them a scary
vulnerability.. for many years, I could not cry in front of people. Haunted
memories of a parental voice saying "I'LL give you something to cry
about!!" and childhood peers calling me a crybaby.. to a resistance to
being like my mother, who could turn them on and off like a faucet, as
emotional manipulation.
But, Shakti came.. and I found tears coming as a response to beauty, to
great joy, happy emotions so vast they overflowed my eyes with a misty
poignance that was inutterably sweet, watering my smile to make it grow wider.
I made peace, with my tears. You will, too.. in time.
>Big hugs to a sister Canadian!! I pray that Goddess will help make your
>wonderful dream a reality :-)
She will.. She gave me the dream.. at a time when I was in despair, I
thought I would never be reunited with Her, because I could not reach the
Earth heart by digging.. She showed me that I would *become* Her.
>That is somewhere I would visit without
>hesitation!!!
I look forward to it. :)
>Goddess has given me countless opportunities over the years to surrender. I
>recognize that now. I have always justified my control issues by telling
>myself that the timing just wasn't right...
Well, now it is. :)
> For the longest time I had no
>faith in anyone. At times not even myself. Getting to know the Goddess has
>been a wonderful reminder that despite my cynicism, there is a very tender
>heart underneath all this armour.
>
>Love and blessings,
>Jen
A beautiful heart.. :)
Blessings!
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