To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/12/21 09:46
Subject: [K-list] asking for healing energy
From: Fredaann
On 2000/12/21 09:46, Fredaann posted thus to the K-list:
I have been in Hawaii for three weeks, my brother flew me at his expense from Idaho,
I live in Washington, I was in Idaho to get married. I have no memory of Idaho, and
very hazy memory of the first two weeks in Hawaii. The reason for the travel and the
memory loss and a whole slew of symptoms that have been creeping up on me for
a while now has been diagnosed as a brain tumor... in the linings of my brain, which
I am being told thru a dream (which I wont bore you with) is a result of visulizations
I used to clean cancer from my uterus and breasts nearly 14 years ago... I am cancer
free these days... but the brain tumor is distorting my eyesight, messing with my
blood presure and muddling my memory, which wasnt always all that reliable to begin
with...
the tumor cannot be removed by surgery because it is too close to the optic nerves...
pardon my non medical jargon, I struggle to understand what they tell me, although
I think they are trying to be paitent with my questions, I think I must sound like an
idiot asking them... the doctors talk of managment... and new treatments that are
in some cases expermental even... I am glad the thing cannot be sugically removed,
because I dont think I wouild allow my head to be opened anyway and so I wont
have to make that kind of a decision.
What I am writting to the group for is healing engery... not for the tumor, I honestly
believe this may be my own fault... what I need is clairity... and peace.
In dreams I have been prepared for blindness, and weakness of my mind as well as
my body... I was young when I first dreamt of being blind and caring for a chapel...
I have seen and experinced first hand the power of healing ouside of the medical
experince... now I am experincing the power of healing gone wacko..... something
in my little mind only happened in conventional medicine... never thought that
spiritual healing could go wrong... well, live and learn...
I have been told, and it resonates... that the trouble I am experiencing now is the
result of not being able to surrender, or give up.... the healing was not compleate
the cancers have gone, but the body still being attacked... and will until either
it dies, or I surrender...
what I need is peace, and clarity... it will be nasty therapy, I am well versed in the
causes of my dis-ease. I can follow its progress, understand its reasons, pinpoint
the damn thing to its conception... but I dont understand surrender.. and I must if I
intend to do away with this once and for all....
There is a bright side to this ... back in March, I believe, in the last weeks of her
pregnancy my daughter was told 'she' may have a brain tumor... they had to wait till
after she delivered to do the scans... her tests however came back negitive... I am
soooo very pleased for her, I wonder however if her symptoms had been '
'sympathy pains' for my condition.... in anycase I am very happy for her, her
symptoms slowly disapeared shortly after the birth of her son.
Life is strange.
So, I am home now in Washington, my new husband left this morning back to
his home in Idaho... and I am finally free to give my situation some thought, hindered
only by the sweetness of the laughter of my presious grandaughter Shy and her
ever buzy little brother Billly... it is good to be home... I think... at least I know it is
verrrrryyyy good to be out of the crush of holiday travlers... such nastyness from
people who are traveling this time of year... makes me wonder how 'they' intend to
meet up with their loved ones without exploding all over the walls upon their arrival...
on the plane I tried figuring it out... it is a bitch to get to their destination, some are
bitching about what a bitch it is gonna be to deal with their families once they
get there, and god only knows the trip back is gonna be just as much of a bitch...
so why do they do it?
perhaps they too have difficulty with surrender......
perhaps...
anyway, I guess this was a longer than I expected post, sorry,
if you feel inclined to do so I would welcome any kind of eneries, I am not sure how
god intends to put them to use, but I trust god knows best...
love,
freda
ICQ 71294625
http://www.geocities.com/beamism/selfbless.html
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