To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/12/17 11:45
Subject: [K-list] Re: empathy
From: nancy
On 2000/12/17 11:45, nancy posted thus to the K-list:
> Message: 3
> Date: Sat, 16 Dec 2000 21:45:05 -0800
> From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
> Subject: Re: empathy...
>
> All I want for X-mas is to be heard, and accepted for who I am...
> instead of fending off projections of who they think I am. Wanting
> creates
> experiences of wanting.. so it goes..
Hi Angelique,
Every once in a while, I feel compelled to write you even though I think
that my words aren't really what you need to hear. I've learned through
the years that if I have that feeling, there is something that you would
appreciate hearing, so here I go again!
Let me start by saying that I completely understand your feelings of
being an outcast, wanting to be accepted, not feeling the strength to
deal with abusive behavior. None of us deserve the harsh treatment the
world offers, but we all knew what we were getting into before we were
born and chose the path of the warrior.
Your path is one of rapid growth. Your family, bless their abusive
hearts, are the reason that you have progressed through so many levels
of awareness in your short life. Have you ever considered that they came
to earth to assist your development? That they have been living hell on
earth for your benefit?
I find myself wanting to explain that I don't mean to condone abuse, but
you know that and I'm sure you know what I mean.
You have quit growing from their abuse long ago. You detached from that
wounded child so you could establish yourself in all your fullness. I
remember that you met that child recently and welcomed her back into
your life with open arms. Now her wounds are your wounds.
When you find yourself with that sickening feeling waiting for the other
shoe to drop, you are relating to the world through her eyes, her ears,
her feelings. She can't cope with the abuse. You are a confident, whole
woman who doesn't have to be afraid of these sad people who try to gain
their power by putting you down.
Everyone is exactly where they need to be. I HATE that sometimes. Why
can't people be in the place I want them to be? You know that I have had
a problem accepting that this man in my life isn't willing to open
himself up to a deeper level of relating. It really pissed me off. It
made me sad. Then I thought, how fucking arrogant of me to think that I
know what's best for him! It's his life and he knows the path he wants
to walk. It's just not that path I want him to walk.
You want acceptance, so I would say in the spirit of Christmas that it
is better to give than receive. Give acceptance and your rewards will be
rich. Accept that your sister is an abusive bitch. Let her be an abusive
bitch. Don't care if she's an abusive bitch. Let her perform her drama
by herself.
You don't need to completely detach. There are degrees of interrelating
with others. A good friend once told me to not throw pearls to swine.
Save your jewels for those who can appreciate their value. Leave the
swine to their slop.
Angelique, I know that you have it in you to withstand and maintain your
wholeness. You are a beautiful, strong, enlightened woman. I am
fortunate to know you and call you friend. My love and acceptance are
always here for you.
With love,
Nancy
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