To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/12/12 18:25
Subject: [K-list] Intro
From: a list member
On 2000/12/12 18:25,a list member posted thus to the K-list:
Greetings :-)
... I have been on the
list for a few months, but have been too caught up in an emotional whirlwind
to focus on posting any sort of an intro.
I have spent my whole life desperately "searching" for inner peace. It seems
it has always been just beyond my grasp. My greatest source of comfort has
been the discovery of The Goddess and the realization that I am destined to
follow her path. I believe she lead me to this list, and I feel very
blessed. As I read through the list of "symptoms", I was literally moved to
tears. Tears of relief. Many of the things I have spent a lifetime trying to
explain suddenly became crystal clear. For example, I have ALWAYS been warm,
even in the dead of winter ( people always complain that my house is way too
cold) I also get this "weird" thing ( for lack of a better word) , in my
head. A person will be talking to me, and suddenly they sound abnormally
loud, and their voice will have an echoey quality to it. I have always had
difficulty sleeping, had digestive and bowel problems, and been subject to
severe mood swings.
From the time I was very young, I always felt like I was "different" from
other people. My earliest recollection if this was telling my mother at the
age of nine that I thought I was going crazy. I began having grand mal
seizures at the age of 13, and to this day no doctor has been able to
determine the cause. I have been to countless neurologists and have had more
brain scans and EEGs than I care to remember. Doctors merely attributed my
seizures to a "hormonal problem", put me on Tegretol and explored it no
further.
I have been depressed for much of my life. I had severe endometriosis in my
early twenties, and had several miscarraiges as a result. I spent most of my
twenties in a suicidal haze. Something was "missing" from my life and I was
existing in a dark, meaningless void. Again, I was told my depression was
hormonal, that I was border-line bi-polar, and put on Prozac. End of that ch
apter :-)
I finally begain to find some inner peace when I began an in depth study of
astrology in the early '90's. As I acquired more knowledge about things
metaphysical, and developed more self-awareness , some of the turmoil began
to subside. I now have two beautiful boys and am going to University.
One thing I would like to ask is whether "prophetic dreams" are a sign of
awakening? Now , I don't know if my dreams are prophetic , per
se......Depends on your definition of the word, I suppose. I dream about
people and within a few days I end up seeing them. Always.These can be
people I see fairly regularly, people I haven't seen in years, or people I
have never met in my life. I tell anyone else about this and they laugh and
say I'm nuts. The only person who takes me seriously is my mother, because
she has seen it happen.
I guess I am still trying to understand where I am at in this "process", and
what, if anything IS actually happening to me. Most of the time it makes
sense, but there is the odd time when I still DO feel crazy.
Anyway, thank you for listening. :-) Your thought and suggestions would be
greatly appreciated.
Warmest regards,
1/9699/0/_/680797/_/976670384/
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