To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/30 19:10
Subject: [K-list] Introduction/Addictions/Etc.
From: Elam Ashman
On 2000/11/30 19:10, Elam Ashman posted thus to the K-list:
Greetings to everyone! I have been on the list for just over a day now, and
it is so wonderful to log on every few hours and find a few messages from
the list; the Internet is most certainly a 'quantum leap' in the human
pursuit of collective consciousness!
A bit about me:
My name is Elam Ashman: I'm nineteen years old, living in Tallahassee
Florida (the center of the election recount hullabaloo), a sophomore
studying business and psychology at Florida State University. I am an only
child, and have been raised by two highly aware individuals. I have been
exposed to the various facets of yoga and meditation since birth, which has
resulted in a fairly unconventional life so far. Before realization of the
power of awareness, I took for granted the divine grace that surrounded my
immediate family. Everything always 'worked' - even in times of despair,
solutions would miraculously manifest themselves. It was what I thought of
as 'normalcy' - I did not realize that most of the others in the world did
not have such blessings. Once I left home (August, 1999) for college, I
began to search for 'myself' - always having been so very different, always
standing out in the crowd, I began to have a strong desire to 'fit in'. For
eighteen months, I assumed the life of an average "Gen X" college student --
I smoked a pack of cigarettes each day, consumed in excess of fifteen drinks
a week, smoked marijuana on a consistent basis, consumed prescription pain
killers and depressants, and used ecstasy and LSD in excess of ten times
each. Despite all of my 'partying', I was excelling in school, and I had
friends who seemed to care about me. On the surface, I had it made. Being a
very analytical person, however, I began to realize what the wild and crazy
life was doing to me - and why I was doing it in the first place -- several
very negatively charged people had forged false relationships with me out of
envy. They saw what potential I held, and out of jealousy, were trying to
keep me from myself, if that makes sense. They were sort-of energetic
vampires, feeding off of my light. All of the dependencies had made me
weak - I had become a wide-open transceiver for energies around me, mostly
negative at the time. As soon as I realized this (approximately six weeks
ago), everything changed in VERY rapid succession. My desire to engage in
self-destructive behaviors had completely vanished - there was no 'quitting'
process per-say. I simply gave thanks to God for everything that I had
experienced, and then I closed that chapter of my life. And that was the end
of it!
I feel more alive and 'in tune' now that I have ever felt before. And I can
honestly say that each day is the very best day of my life - it just keeps
getting better and better! I am slowly awakening; each day is graced with
countless miracles of good fortune - the world I live in is changing before
my very eyes! The notion that thought can affect reality is an incredible
one. The -experience- is beyond words!
Well, that is about it - hopefully someone out there can benefit from my
experiences. To whoever you are: be VERY thankful for your addictions and
what they have brought you (all experiences, 'good' or 'bad', are truly
wonderful!), and be doubly thankful for the energy to eradicate them. With
conviction, you can overcome any obstacle.
I apologize for the lengthiness of my post, but this is the first time I
have felt compelled to 'tell my story'; it is a great relief to know that
there are others out there like myself. I look forward to getting to know
all of you!
In humbleness, love, and truth,
Elam
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