To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/19 16:58
Subject: Re: Gobbeldygook: was Re: [K-list] First Post - Not knowing whe
From: Wendy Wade
On 2000/11/19 16:58, Wendy Wade posted thus to the K-list:
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mystress Angelique Serpent" <MystressATnospamkundalini-gateway.org>
To: "Wendy Wade" <livingjoyunlimitedATnospamhome.com>
Cc: <Kundalini-GatewayATnospamegroups.com>
Sent: Friday, November 17, 2000 7:53
Subject: Gobbeldygook: was Re: [K-list] First Post - Not knowing where to
start...
>
> At 04:15 PM 11/11/00, Wendy Wade wrote:
> > > Well, you learned to recieve more than you bargained for.. :)
Watch
> > > out for "good intentions", within every one of them is a fear and a
> > > judgment about what someone else needs, that will trip you up every
time.
> > > "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".
> >
> >Can you say more to this? I think this is an area I spend time in that I
> >would really like to change. I see other people's pain or I can relate
to
> >other people's suffering and hope to be a safe space for them to work
> >through their pain - but sometimes I end up, instead, doing their work
for
> >them or putting myself on the line - when they themselves have not even
gone
> >there. I don't want to do this anymore. I intellectually understand how
> >this serves noone - especially not me but would love to hear more about
> >different ways people work through this.
>
> I fall into it all the time too.. I teach best what I most need to
> learn so I'll teach it to us both..
>
> First, in order to think people cannot do things for themselves you
> have to stop seeing them as Gods of their own lives. As soon as you do
that
> you fall from Grace and lose contact with your guidance because you have
> shifted perceptions/dimensions.
Thank you - this in itself will help me.
> I find that is a convenient way to think of it. Every chakra level is
a
> different dimension, like a parallel universe, and every chakra has an eye
> that sees into that dimension. If you want to know which one you are in
> now, look within yourself to find a star. A bright pinpoint of light that
> is the core essence of You.
That is my heart chakra...
>
> Whatever chakra it is closest to, that is the dimension you are at
right
> now. If you study the properties of that chakra you will see the current
> issues you are dealing with now. If you want to move to a different
> dimension just imagine that star going to a different chakra.
> The chakra universes are DIFFERENT. What may be an absolute rule in
> one dimension can work exactly the opposite in another dimension. In the
> highest chakras all contradictions are both true, and nothing is true..
> nothing is real.. it is all Maya, illusion. I know that makes no sense to
> read it because the higher chakras cannot be described in words.. but if
> you have been there you know what I mean.. the knowing is experiential.
My biggest struggles seem to stem from my throat chakra. Not allowing
myself to speak... feeling embarassment (especially in expressing myself
sexually). I find that it is very difficult to speak my desires there. I
practice, I take risks and yet I still find it to be very difficult.
>
> I can tell you, from what you have told me that you mostly live in the
> heart and have great empathy and Grace, but falling into believing other
> people's stories of how they are not Gods of their own lives knocks you
> into the lower chakras where you get stuck in separation and get sick.
>
Thank you for your wisdom... It is such a blessing to me.
> The heart is the source of empathy, how it is that you feel their
pain.
> Their pain is your pain because u 2 r 1. The heart is where the unity
> universe (all is love) of the upper chakras meets the duality universe
> (love/not love) we call the "real" world of the lower chakras.
> Lower and higher are not judgments of quality, but of location: where
> the chakras are in your body. The lower 3 chakras are concerned with life
> as a physical being, birth and death and love and pain. The upper 3 are
> concerned with the spiritual world, and your crown chakra is not even
> really "in" your physical body.. the halo descends from above when your
> higher self takes up residence in your body as You.
>
> Above the Heart there is only unity, it's all Goddess, everything is
> made of love and light, nothing needs to be fixed. There is no judgment of
> good and evil to make a "Good intention" or a bad one. It's all love, even
> the spankings of life are done in unconditional love. When you are there,
> there is no thinking. There is only doing. Spontaneity, random acts of
> kindness..
>
> In unity, there is nobody else, everything is a reflection of who you
> are = God-dess experiencing limitless manifestation in form. This is a
> state of grace. You are united with Divine Wisdom, your body has a nice
> energy buzz of life energy and there are no worries. All the clouds turn
> inside out to show their shiny silver linings that are gifts for you. You
> see the world thru God-dess eyes.. as beauty and wonder. Compassion is
> automatic and effortless joy. Synchronicity is the norm. Trees tell you
> "namaste".
I find that every day my experience seems to be more effortlessly in this
state. My tears these days have to do with the wonderment and awesomeness
of the universe and of me - of our connectedness and beauty. I am living
the love that I only searched for before. Blessed Be!
>
> When you say "I hope to be a safe space for them to work thru their
> pain".. you are creating separation. Whenever you think a thought that is
> about "what someone else needs" you are making a judgment and creating
> separation.
Thank you.
> You are saying they are not God so you want to be God for them. You
> are making yourself responsible for how they will feel. Free Will does not
> work that way. I know, I have spent years experimenting with exactly how
> much I can control someone else's feelings, and the answer is: not at all.
> Not unless they allow it. If they allow it, it can be a lot of fun! :)
>
;-) Experimenting in this way is something relatively new but I have
some knowing there.
> If you are not seeing God in someone then you are projecting
> something less. Projections are inevitable in the universes of the
> chakras below the heart where duality games are played out between us and
> them.
> The observer affects the experiment. So how you choose to see people
is
> an energy that moves from you to them. You can think of this as an
invasive
> act, if you are seeing their helplessness... and also as shooting yourself
> in the foot. What you put out comes back multiplied so seeing people as
> helpless victims of circumstance creates helplessness in you.
>
Thank you.
> Let me put it differently. From a lower chakra you may say "so and so
> is sick and needs my help" but move that thought up to the unity universe
> and it translates to "I am sick and need help" coz there is nobody else.
One of the major turning points in my physical healing had to do with the
day I really got it about "receiving". The day I began to ask for help...
> From there the message goes on up out your head as a prayer of asking for
> sickness and need. That's how judgments can make Karma. The road to hell
of
> good intentions.
>
> How would you prefer to be seen? For your spirit or your failures?
For my spirit...
How
> you see other people is a reflection of who you are. This is the Mirror of
> All that Is. Keep your nose to the mirror and you will stay in a state of
> Grace. Keeping your nose to the mirror is Mindfulness. Becoming aware that
> every thought is a prayer of manifestation about what you want in your
life.
>
I am getting better at seeing this in myself. Hearing - listening -
changing what I think about...
> It's all about you, you you.. I'm totally aware that I'm talking about
> myself. That's all I know, all I can know, the whole world I see is all
> shaped by my choices of belief.
>
Thank you.
> You can choose to project helpless inability on people so you can
enjoy
> playing generous rescuing hero, if you want to play lower chakra games of
> making those judgments.
> These games can be good fun, so long as they are consensual, and you
> don't get lost in them and fall from grace. If you don't forget that roles
> of Hero and helpless are really games played by reflections of the Divine.
> As soon as you get to thinking of "what someone else needs" you have
> created separation and you fall from grace. There is no-one else. It is
all
> reflections of you, so focus on what You need.
>
Oh, God-dess bless you... I know this to be one of my challenges and I, at
this moment, vow to focus on my own needs... Live my life in the present...
> The people you want to help, obviously do not know this about
> themselves, that they are God in their own lives creating their own
> reality. They don't live in that dimension, consciously and if you told
> them so then they might think you are a nut, or that you are blaming them
> for their problems..but you know if you stay detached the heart will give
> you the words.
So true, when I speak my heart, how I feel, what I want, what I know, there
is no struggle.
>
> They are convinced of their helplessness. If they convince you of it
> too, then you lose yourself because you have fallen into their beliefs.
> Moved into their world, their reality. Bought their victim soap and come
> down to that level below the heart where they live, where there are
winners
> and losers and victims and evil.
> You fall from Grace. Lose touch with your own Divinity and lose your
> healing magic, your ability to help them see past their limiting beliefs..
> and you have also just become God for them. Responsible for their problems
> and how they feel. Their karma flows to you. You cannot help them, from
> there.. that's why you have to maintain detachment.
>
Thank you so very much.
> Road to Hell is paved with Good intentions.. if you are trying to
> figger out whether your intentions are good or bad, then you have fallen
> from grace. Good or bad is a judgment. If you are judging then you are not
> in the heart. To get back into the heart, you have to get out of where you
> are now, and it is easiest to do that by balancing the polarities.
> Look for the Road to Hell in all of your Good intentions. The fear
> behind your apparently loving motives. When you see it, you will laugh at
> yourself, and be free. If it's not funny, then exaggerate it and make it
> bigger until it is absurd. Laughter heals.
>
Thank you - my tendency used to be to shame myself for not knowing better...
> I call doing this, "looking in the ugly mirror". It can be painful but
> not doing it is more painful in the long term because the longer you
> postpone looking, the further you go down that Road to Hell.
> I imagine the ugly mirror like a warped funhouse mirror that shows you
> your ugliness. Where your karma is hidden. The mirror will glady show all
> your hidden fears and judgments so you have a chance to love them into
> light. All the things you think you are not so you can love them into
unity.
>
I am really getting this now...
> Get very selfish about following your bliss. Bliss is a navigation
> system that is Goddess' carrot to lead you to where you need to be.
> Following bliss with perfect selfishness will keep you away from the road
> of "good intentions" and steady on the path of grace.
>
> Good intentions and judgments are all about thinking. Stop thinking
> with your mind and focus on your body. If an idea gives you
> goosebumps, makes your panties wet and your heart explode with joy, chase
> it.
Yes - Yes - Yes!!!!!
>
> To find out if your motives really are good, look for your
selfishness.
> That may sound wierd in a lower chakra universe, but in a higher Chakra
> universe there is nobody but you, You are All that Is so selfishness makes
> perfect sense and any "good intentions" otherwise will knock you back into
> separation.
>
> Follow your own bliss and make yourself happy. If you are happy then
> your whole world cheers up because it is all reflection of you. That is
> Grace.
I find this especially true with my children.
> Selfishness does not mean being greedy or misery.. both of those
> emotions belong to the lower chakras where there is fear of scarcity. Lack
> of faith in abundance. From a state of Grace kindness and compassion are
> automatic and effortless. It feels good to do it.
>
Thank you.
>
> > When it is right for you to give, it will be spontaneous and
> > > effortless.. no thinking required, you will know what to do. If your
> > > actions are Divinely inspired, then everything will flow and it won't
cost
> > > you your health. If you have to think about what is the right thing
to
> >do,
> > > then probably the best thing is to do nothing because the part of you
> >that
> > > thinks is not wise enough to make decisions for you.
> > >
> >Thank you again - I come to crossroads where I don't know...
> >
> > > It is good that you focus on service, but you need to be more
selfish
> > > to stay healthy. Focus on your own reward: the pleasure you get from
acts
> > > of service, and if there is no bliss then don't do it. The bliss will
heal
> > > you but the road of Good intentions will make you sicker. Focus on
> >serving
> > > Goddess within yourself, following Divine Will by having a nose for
what
> > > gives you bliss, and don't follow anything else. That will lead you to
> > > where you need to be.
> >
This is a big one. One of those learning to know it to be true and really
noticing much more frequently when I am giving my self away.
> >There are times where I choose my service because I think I should and
you
> >are right - during those times I tire easily.
>
> Delete "should" from your vocabulary... it is a toxic word.
>
This has been so wonderful for me. I so appreciate your willingness to
share these things with me. Your guidance is a blessing in my life.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
> Just in case that is not enough gobbeldygook for you, here is
> another post I wrote on the topic to a private list some weeks ago. I
don't
> think N. will mind if I quote some snippets from her post.
>
> She wrote:
> > >>Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I had an interesting dream while I
was
> > >away for a conference in Las Vegas earlier this week. You told me what
twin
> > >flames really are!
> >
> > I did?
> >
> > >Your TF is not one particular person or soul, rather it is being one
with
> > >another.
> >
> > yup, that makes sense.. any experience of Tantric unity with
> >anyone. There is only One soul and it's God-dess.
> >
> > >For some reason, the oneness only goes to the heart chakra. Below
> > >the heart, you can be one with someone. I guess because these are the
tribal
> > >chakras. Above the heart resides the chakras which represent your
> > >individuality. If you try to be one with another at this level, you
lose
> > >your expression, your intuition and your higher being.
Woahhh - this really hits home.
> >
> > Makes sense. I think that might explain a lot about why I become
> > allergic to
> >some of my students.. because those are exactly the symptoms that bring
out
> >the alpha Wolf to set me free.. I'm dumbfounded. You have answered a
> >question that has bothered me, for years..
> >
> > I'm going to spend a lot of time thinking about this.. grok it
fully.
> >This unlocks some mysteries of D/s tantra too, I think.. why Dominance
and
> >submision has different energy rules from how the flow works in equality.
I spent a short time with a male tantric D - truly an amzing experience of
self and surrender. It was an incredible opening - an experience of great
joy, learning, pain, pleasure, grief... The experience was truly
transformational.
> > Fascinating. The slave games create empathic unity at the level of
> > the power chakra and the energy increases from there.
> >
> > >Does this make sense to you? If you wouldn't mind filling in the
blanks, I
> > >would appreciate it!
> >
> > LOL!! I can try! I'm still trying to grok it myself. When I really
do,
> >I'll be able to write a book about it.. ! Wow.... of course, when it's
> >really integrated, I'll be able to distill it down to a sentence as
my/your
> >higher self did.
> >
> > There really are 2 different universes above and below the heart..
and
> >the ones above the heart are difficult if not impossible to put into
words.
> >But I'll try.. because I know you live there... and because by explaining
> >it to you I'll understand it better.
> >
> > I think you might understand it more easily if you replace
> >"individuality" with "duality"... above the heart is non-duality. There
is
> >no "other" to unify with. You cannot create one ness with someone because
> >All is already One. Oneness is, so creating "someone" to create unity
with
> >is trying to create separation in Divine Unity. Like trying to bring
matter
> >into an anti-matter universe. It blows up. You fall from grace and take
a
> >quick trip thru Hell =separation from God-dess... as you put it, "you
lose
> >your expression, your intuition and your higher being". Hell is that.
> >
> > Your relationship with your own Divinity is primary: "I AM THAT"
and
> >everything is an extension/reflection of your Self. That unique
perspective
> >of how Goddess sees the world thru YOUR eyes is the "invdividuality" that
> >you lose. Not the individual=separateness we call ego.
> >
> > In the higher chakra universe you cannot fall in love.. you ARE
> >love. You are "in love" with life itself.. anything less is a non-issue.
> >You can be very close to people and have sex and intimacy and friends,
> >daily life may be more blissful than the greatest romance and you orgasm
> >from spectacular sunsets and ripe fruit...
> >
> > ... but that "in love" bug process, "folly a deux" madness of
addiction
> >to a person that is the stuff of romance novels, just doesn't work..
> >either it's a non-issue or it blows up good every time you try it.
> >
I am in the midst of great lessons about this... Thank you.
> > People in the lower chakra universe may fall in love with you, and
even
> >have spectacular obsessions about who they think you are.. but if you
fall
> >in love with them back, then the boat sinks. Like when the Titanic
kissed
> >an iceberg.
> >
> > If you try to unify with another person then you are making them be
God
> >for you and so you lose your own connection to the Divine, give your
power
> >away to them and forget yourself... thus, I am slave to Goddess and
put
> >none before Her.. coz if I do I get really messed up very quickly and so
do
> >they.
Shewwwwwww... Blessed Be!
> >
> > Robert Hienlien defined "love" as "when the happiness and well being
of
> >another out weighs all other considerations". That is a lovely
description
> >for love in the lower chakras. True Love. There is separation in the
lower
> >chakras so you can project God-dess onto someone in the way that is the
> >magic of "falling in love" and it works.
> >
> > If you have not access to the higher chakras as most folks don't,
then
> >it can keep working. For unawakened folks who have directed their lower
> >chakra energy into procreation and pair bonding, "in love" is a dandy
> >system for continuing the species and I am glad there are people who do
it.
> >I quote Robert to them on the card for their wedding.. Blessed be.
> >
> > In the higher chakra universe that is attained by awakened people,
> >Robert's definition makes no sense at all. It's a prescription for
> >disaster. Made nonsensical because there be no "other" to be considerate
> >of. Made into a silly idea by knowledge that Free Will is Goddess Law.
> > You cannot control how someone else chooses to feel, unless they
allow
> >it. You cannot control if someone will choose to feel happiness or not
> >because happiness truly comes from within..
> > So in the higher chakras, making what someone else does more
important
> >than following Divine will within yourself is a prescription for
disaster.
> >The road to Hell is paved with Good intentions kind of disaster.
> >
> > Yet, my slaves give their power and will to me, and so long as their
> >ego does not resist it is blissful. I make little effort to unify with
> >them, their free will choice to surrender is a dynamic that creates the
> >unity.. they abandon themselves to experience my world, project Goddess
> >onto me and get back Shakti that does the work cleansing the karma-junk
> >from them while their free will is out of the way.
> > It usually takes about 3- 6 months shaktipat mainline of a leash
> >cleansing their karma to full awakening, if they do not resist me. I get
a
> >feedback of some processing info, mostly to give them words to assist
> >surrender when their ego is trying to resist. The more they surrender,
the
> >smoother and faster it gets. I have had a few people who awakened fully
in
> >an afternoon, if their potential was ready.
> >
> > They abandon ego and free will to come into my universe and hang
out
> >while their body catches up. From a higher chakra universe I can clear a
> >ton of karma from someone so long as they surrender it willingly. So
long
> >as they are willing to join me in my universe by surrendering their ego
> >whenever it appears, it is blissful...
> >
> > It takes them some time longer than .. usually about a year after
they
> >have ascended, to get the hang of living in the higher chakra universe
and
> >building faith in their own inner guidance. After that the body is
> >basically clear and they spend the rest of their life time unkinking and
> >redesigning their DNA to ever more fully manifest the individuality that
> >Goddess designed to be their ideal potential.
> >
> > Where slavery gets quickly messed up all round is if they resist.
> >Resistance blocks the flow. If they try to hold onto the ego-resistance
> >that Shakti is clearing from the body while they are in my upper chakra
> >universe all Hell breaks loose. The more they try to hold on the worse it
> >gets.
> >
> > They start to go crazy from pressure of my Shakti and I get thrashed
by
> >the blockages of their resistance in my body cutting me off from Source.
> >It's Hell. We are in unity, so I cannot avoid the pain of their
resistance.
> >Their blockage is stuck in me until they either give it up or I find a
way
> >to separate from them.
> >
> > When slaves graduate, at ego-death I have to turn them loose..
slave
> >games don't work in the upper chakras. They have to become slaves to
> >Goddess within themselves, not slaves to Goddess within Mystress.
> >
> > This idea can be disappointing to some slaves, so they have an
option
> >to renew the collar after their 3 day solo visionquest of rebirth, if
> >Goddess Within themselves allows it, but the rules change if they do.
> >
> > Like percyval.. His own Divine Beloved is his primary Mistress.
he
> >enjoys his surrender to me because She allows it. In tantric unity he
gets
> >to feel my universe for a while .. where his illness is less. It does not
> >affect me because he is in a state of deep surrender. He is projecting
> >Goddess onto me from his lower chakras, with sexual pleasure but his ego
is
> >not interfering with what Goddess/me does.. he does not try to bring his
> >ego into the upper chakra universe. He leaves it behind, with his
surrender.
> >
> > That's why I'm very selective about who comes into the Tribe.
Because
> >novices will inevitably try to bring their ego into an upper chakra
circle
> >and we all get hit by the shrapnel when they blow up like Unconditional
> >Love Bomb Hiroshima. We are them, so the circle is only as strong as it's
> >weakest member.
> >
> > Hmm.. I know I'm not describing it very well. The simplest way I
can
> >think of, to describe it is that loving someone is only possible in the
> >lower chakras where there is separation for the love to go from one
person
> >to another and be transmitted thru time-space.
This is so fascinating...
> >
> > In the higher chakra universe, you Are love and so are they, the
unity
> >is inherent. Love Is. We are I AM. There is only one of us and it is All
of
> >us. Time-space is Not.
> > In order to be loving or have enough separation to be "in love" you
> >have to break with that unity and when you do you fall from grace. You go
> >back to looking for love instead of being love. Looking for God instead
of
> >Being That. Hell is defined as separation from God.
> >
> > So.. yes, I think after all this babbling, I understand it well
enough
> >to say it simply. There can only be twin flames in the lower chakra
> >universe of duality, because in the upper chakra universe, there is only
> >One Infinite Fire and any attempt to separate it into 2 flames will
instead
> >separate you from the Fire. It will knock you flat on your ass into a
cold
> >dark place where there is no fire at all.
> > Ah!
> > On a higher chakra level, the twin flames are the One infinite
fire.
> >On a lower chakra level, the twin flames are also really both the one
fire.
> >It looks like two flames because there is a mirror illusion. What you see
> >is the One fire and it's reflection. Yeah, that's it...:) A candlelit
> >buddha in a room full of mirrors.
> > Blessings and
> > thanks.
Again, my gratitude. It is such a delight to hear you.
In love and in peace,
wendy
> >
> > www.fire-serpent.com
>
>
>
> http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
>
>
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