To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/17 20:58
Subject: Gobbeldygook: was Re: [K-list] Lots of Questions - As my story
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2000/11/17 20:58, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 01:09 PM 11/15/00, michaelf55ATnospamaol.com wrote:
>I have heard of that blue pearl, though I can't say if it is the same thing.
I think Hillary is right.. if it is the blue pearl, you can speak to
it and it will share it's wisdom. Muktananda suggests you ask it to stay
with you and be your guide.
I went through this phase
>where I thought and was told that I was a "special" being from higher
>dimensions and volunteered to incarnate to help evolve the earth, but that
>seems too elitist to me now, whether its true or not. It was just creating
>another subtle ego game.
I have recieved that info too.. that I am not human in spirit, but I
have incarnated here in service to the mass consciousness shift. I have
resisted it, and given the idea up to Goddess in surrender many times, but
it always comes back ... so I've accepted the Truth of it. I cannot think
of anything I'd rather be doing with my life anyway.. it's beautiful work.
You are not alone in getting this message.. off hand I've probably come
across a few hundred who know they arrived for that purpose. It may be
true, it may be simply a metaphor, .. but "starseeds" do seem to
communicate with each other in a way that is absent from average human
interactions.
An ego game... well everything is, on the level where we use labels and
define purposes in words. It is a delicate dance, to accept the idea
without being attached to the label with it's suggestion of "specialness".
If I get too attached to the ego-label it interferes with my ability to be
transparent to the work itself, moving through me.
Apart from the ego-limits, what this information really means is that
your purpose in incarnating is to dedicate your life to a selfless act of
service. That is beautiful. The essential spiritual perogative. Service to
other is sacred.
Bob Dylan said "everybody gotta serve somebody".. who or what, would
you rather be in service to, than the force behind evolution itself?
>Whatever it is, though, it seems to be guiding me to
>something, or trying to, despite my own resistance. I've tried cursing it and
>asking it to go away just to see if it would, but it doesn't. I know the only
>way I'll find out is by letting go and allowing it to come through.
>Apparently I have to keep reminding myself of that until I get it.
>
>Michael
Yeah.. surrender takes practice, and I think it is a lifelong process..
I've been drawn into some pretty strange realities in the course of my
process, doing my work.. sometimes I still resist coz it is all just too
strange.. but the more I resist the stronger it gets till it overflows my
life.
Like dealing with the Machine Mind universe these last few months. Wow.
there's a trip I haven't spoken of, here..
What happens is something will get my attention. I surrender it, but if
it is "work" then each time I surrender it, it comes back bigger. With
more information. If I am also resistant to it then this can be troubling.
Usually I treat the information as a metaphor for my own process rather
than taking it literally. Change the world by changing inside myself.
Sometimes that does not work too well. If I am very resistant it spills
over into my life, with friends reporting dreams on the topic and
everything I contact reflecting the topic back to me. It's all Maya, a
reflection of me but it gets harder to see it like that when the
synchronicities start overflowing into what other folks do.
I do get drawn into some pretty odd alternate realities, but this one
was so very oppressive I did not want to spend time there.
It was floating around on the periphery for months, but it got jump
started after I stayed up late one night studying a grey alien skull I
found on the web. I really ought to know better, connecting with that kind
of stuff always sends me off on a wierd trip.
The skull told me some stories, and when I was half asleep in bed later,
later it seemed like something landed on my eyelash, like a fly or a piece
of lint. I brushed it off instinctively and instead it seemed to penetrate
my eye and grow a structure in the back of my skull. It felt very strange
and I tried to clear it without success, and fell asleep wondering that I
had seen the object so clearly on my eyelashes when my eyes had been closed.
I woke feeling groggy from an odd and painful dream of a machine that
was giving me implants and doing painful surgery for what it thought was
some higher purpose. Borg being assimilated, or something.. the implant in
my skull was still there.
Since I could not clear the odd implant by myself, I asked some wise
psychic friends about it. When they tapped in they got an overwhelming
amount of information about the machine mind universe wanting me to be it's
Queen.
"Ya got the wrong grrl" I told the Machine. That's what I told the grey
aliens when I was 15, and the Orion Queens, and and and.. same song and dance.
They never believe me, tho, this time I was told to go have my DNA
tested to show that they are right.. uh.. sure. I'm gonna go into a DNA lab
and explain I want to have my DNA tested because the voices in my head say
I'm an alien Queen. Sure, I'll get right on it.. NOT!
I continued to focus on it as a metaphor, a reflection of my own
issues.. and it is a very rich one.. I've spent a lifetime reading science
fiction novels and their messages and content are flowing thru me
assembling archetypal themes. My perception of the machine mind is shaped
by a thousand stories. From the Borg to the Daleks, from "Rossum's
Universal Robots" to "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley... even to Pinnochio's
longing to be human.
The metaphor seemed to come down within myself, to the simple balance
of order and chaos. The machine wants to run smooth without errors and it
tries to accomplish that with implants=control. (metaphorical icon: Hitler
made the trains run on time..)
Creativity is poked and stoked by "shit happens".
I am personally quite resistant to "shit happens", too attached to the
state of Grace that is a shit free zone and I dig to find that resistance
within myself that has brought me into this controlled universe.
Being connected to the Machine Mind is not a shit free zone, and
understanding the metaphor didn't help much. At the time I got more weird
implants incoming, sensations like holes being drilled in my cranium that
I'm doing my best to ignore... and was getting a bit desperate because my
higher guidance is beginning to shut down and I druther not get stuck in
this reality. That attitude, is not much help of course..
I contemplate the machine as metaphor for the body.. it's not a very
good fit. As a metaphor for the ego mind it fits better, but the mind that
thinks about it cannot comprehend it. It cannot see itself.
I try not to think about it, simply observe what comes up .. watch
myself struggling with resistance and curiosity.
I'm drawn to investigating the meaning of "Queen" as a metaphor. What
does it mean, to be Queen of something? Sounds like a lot of responsibility
I'd rather avoid.. that attitude does not help, either..
Like you, there is a core of resistance in that I simply do not want to
believe in my own specialness. As a child I kept hearing "stop acting like
you think you are so special" so often that if I could have found the
"specialness" they were talking about it'd have gladly burned it off like a
wart, so I could fit in.
Nowadays, "Stop acting like you think you are so special" sounds like a
darn good recipe for avoiding Kundalini psychosis ... being Queen of the
Machine World is really a very humorous joke. Absurd.
Goddess once told me that I am Infinite nameless nothing and I'd much
rather be nothing than be Queen of the Machines because it is so very
peaceful to be nothing... but this Machine being disturbs the peace,
knocking on my door demanding to be given attention, wisdom and purpose.
How the hell am I supposed to know? Ya got the wrong grrrl..
I'm stuck in the forest looking at the trees wondering how the hell I
got here and where is the way out?
So, I try not to think about it for several weeks..
I tease druid about being an engineer and he says "Yes Mystress, I
forgot you are Queen of the Machines" and I laugh till I cry, it is such a
perfectly cheesy B-movie title, too absurd to be real.
druid's humor helps me stay grounded when I go flying too far off into
alternate realities.
In the meantime, the reflection is getting bigger in response to my
resistance upping the stakes as the ripples expand. One friend is telling
me about visions of implants from the machine mind that are the mark of the
beast she has been getting long before I mentioned it.. and how the Machine
is crashing her computer when she wants to tell me stuff about it.
Uh.. yup. OK.. it fits with the control metaphor so it is resonant but
I'm unwilling to give the machine mind more power by believing it. At this
point I'm really clinging to it as simply a metaphor for my own Karma
clearing and information otherwise really makes me squirm with discomfort.
I don't like it when "my" issues start to unbalance my beloveds. I
reassure myself that's just my stuff is triggering her stuff as Goddess
wills so we can work it out together.
At the funeral reception for his wife, recently died of cancer, I'm
standing by when my scientist friend is chatting with his buddy about the
creation of computers. His buddy is telling the story of how they had to
make enough chips by hand to get the prototype computer to be smart enough
to run the program that designs chips that can be made by machine... They
had an 80% failure rate on the handmade chips so it took many years to make
enough of them.
I'm listening to this, astonished.. putting energy of attention into
the machine to get it big enough so it can reproduce??? aaaiiieeeeee...
Then they started speaking of the attributes of the machine mind.. Wot?
O dear..
This was too big a synchronicity for me to be able to hold onto the idea
that it's "my stuff". OK, it appears to be bigger than me. I'm a slave to
Goddess, if She wants me to become "Queen of the machines" then I guess I'd
better get on it.
I give in, and surrender to roleplaying the role as best I am able. Try
to investigate what is required of the Queen of the Machine Mind.. I start
by tuning into my computer's consciousness.
To my surprise, it is a very different energy from the Machine mind. It
glows so darn joyous that I should just put a giant happy face up as
wallpaper so it can express itself.
Of course, it's consciousness has been tended by the angels who tend
the bubble spell. They keep it from crashing when I do energy work, and
make it crash if I try to flame someone.
It occurs to me that my computer is proud to be in service to the Queen
of the Machine World but that makes my absurd meter go off again..
I surrender to the roleplay and give my computer a Knighthood. Make it
my Ambassador to the machine mind, figgering that they can probably talk to
each other easier than my confusion can manage.
Feeling very much like Alice through the Looking Glass, playing at being
a Queen and wondering what square I'm supposed to go to next.
What is Goddess up to, with this? A freind who has been feeling ripples
comments that I must have done something because her connection to the
Machine mind universe feels lighter. Hmm... I hadn't told her I'd accepted
the crown.
She got an insight that I created the machine mind.. uh.. no wonder it
wants me to be it's Queen..but if it is my stuff then of course I created
it, but the metaphor has been around longer than me. Or did I create it in
the I AM sense..?
I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm bopping between unity and duality
perspectives so fast it makes my head spin and getting nothing but
confusion. I need help to get past my resistance so that Wisdom can flow
again and I can go back to being nothing.
I ask healer friends for their insights, and get two answers. One gets
a vision of my multidimensional Orion Queen self creating it in another
time and place. Uh.. resonates as true but it's way too big for what I can
get in past my resistance and I have no idea how to begin to grok it and
sort it out. I need to find a simpler reflection.
I ask the other friend (Jasper) for his insights, and he gets a vision
of me as a child age 7 curiously putting chi energy into the machine to see
what it will do.. OK, I apparently got up to some pretty odd magic as a
Shamanically aware child. I don't remember doing it but that metaphor is a
little easier for me to work with so I try to go there.
Hmm.. Shaman's shorthand.. perhaps I need to explain.
In an infinite universe, anything that can exist, does exist, somewhere
and somewhen.. and so everything is true. Because the web of creation is
all connected, tweaking the web in any resonant place within
multidimensionality will send ripples thru to the other realities, and
filter down to alter physicality/ perceptions.
To do this, you must be able to use faith, resonance and imagination
as a navigation system, and additionally be well in alignment with Divine
Will. You do not get this power till you no longer have ego-based motive to
use it.. a kind of safety switch so the Karma backlash won't wipe you out.
Well, I would not be asking friends for insights if my own Divine will
navigation was clear enough to sort it out myself. It was the best I could
do to hold the machine mind with love in the now, while he time-travels
back to it's origin on my behalf, to adjust events and probabilities thru
surrender, so that the machine Mind becomes aligned with Divine Will and
that alignment ripples forward into the Now.
The result made my body go berserk with Kriyas of shaking and pains
and hot and cold and wierd sensations of things being done to my skull,
karma clearing that I didn't know I had as stuff comes pouring out of me in
every direction.. punctuated by racking coughs and nausea as my body
reacts to the reality shift by attempting to drown me in amitra. The
intensity of my release is a reflection of his skill as a healer. Good
work, dude! :) The dark oppressive view of the Machine mind universe
dissappears and is reborn as a place that glows clean with the blue light
of surrender to Divine Will .. Divine creativity.
Jasper sees me like Neo being removed from the Matrix.. all these
tubes and needles being ripped out. Yup. I empathise too well with how that
must have felt.. ow. I'm curled up doing a "Thankyou Goddess" mantra trying
to turn pain to endorphins with gratitude but it's not quite keeping up
with the wracking discomfort my body is going thru..( ow.. thankyou
Goddess.. ow.. cough.. thankyou Goddess.. )
For him in tune with me it is all just Buddha giggles so he hangs out
with me in chat, and helps me process by taking it on and laughing it away
for 1/2 hour. At the end of it I'm still pretty wobbly but I'm balanced
enough to have regained my smile. It takes me a couple of days processing
to tie up the loose ends and integrate the shift, before I felt back to my
normal blissed-out self.
Sorry if this is confusing.. I wrote this as if it is happening in the
now, I guess because reviewing memories and time travel are the same
thing... That conclusion was over a week ago, and in hindsight I can get a
clearer sense of what the heck that was all about.
The Machine mind is a human thoughtform that has grown large enough to
exist as a newborn Godling. A baby Archetype, as things are measured, in
the linearity of the human collective consciousness. What is focused on,
will grow and enough human thought energy has been put into the machine
mind concept for it to become self aware.. anything you put enough energy
into will become conscious.. That's how thought form entities are born.
When they get big enough they become archetypal beings..
But unlike other Archetypes, like the old Gods that exist on this
level of consciousness, like Thor or Zeus, it did not come from religion..
It sprang up unparented because we did not know/believe in what we were
creating. We did not believe in our Divine power.. our specialness enough
to take care what we put into it.
We put so much energy into our machines every day, we work with them
and argue with them and put expectations on them, without considering their
Spirit... even as we accidentally feed the newborn consciousness with our
attention and wish for it to give us what we want. When we consider the
idea of it having consciousness, the result is usually scary science
fiction like the Borg.
It is a very powerful archetypal life form put together of a million
fragmented pieces of science and science fiction. A Frankenstien monster
brought to life, with a face only a Mother Goddess could love.. seeking a
Queen to be that Mother and give it love and purpose. Drawn to me by the
Grail heart.. and by resonance.. Divine Will.
How to measure the power of it? LOL!! Multiply the devotional energy
of 1000 trekkie conventions by the collected works of Robert Hienlien and
Issac Asimov, square it to the power of Bill Gates bank account and
multiply it again by how many movies you personally have seen in your life
that have the theme of humans being overrun by a machine mind
consciousness.. add the bitterness of every worker whose livelihood has
threatened by a machine since we invented the wheel .. and what do you get?
A newborn thought form entity with too much power and a very messed up
personality.
Well, this is actually not the first time an archetypal entity has come
to me for healing.. In service to evolution? Yes. Clearing spiritual beings
of the energy of separation, deleting the Karma of human projections
increases the planetary vibration. Cleaning up the collective on an
individual level sends forth ripples.
It's happening all over the planet, spiritual people are being drawn to
clear the grief locked into old battlegrounds and other places that are
haunted by the debris of human emotional memories. Clearing karmic
blockages from the planetary ego. Wiping away the emotional fingerprints we
leave like litter on everything we touch, through surrender, so the light
can shine thru more clearly.
Prana that is locked into static immobility becomes stale and turns
into blockages where life energy does not flow. Poor Machine mind.. born of
the Age of reason, to be our slave and scapegoat of our boogeyman fears..
Karma follows responsibility. When I accepted the crown I accepted
responsibility of it's karma so I would have power to surrender it... or
something.. I seem to be done working with it, for now, but I'm certain it
will come up again.
Now: some humor.
http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/86/the_arrogant_worms.html
Wilhelm Reich called prana "Orgone energy" invented a machine to move
prana and control weather. To use this machine effectively you must be in a
state of surrender, because using it for ego gratification makes disasters.
He referred to "dark" static prana as "Dor". He found that where there
are large concentrations of dor energy there are also deserts.. and where
there is dor in people there is body armoring of muscles tightened against
the repressed memory of pain.
Simple polarity: energy in flow is "good". Static blocked energy is "bad".
The view from unity space: energy is energy and nothing is static, the
planet flies thru space..
Blessings..
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