To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/13 14:27
Subject: [K-list] I was blessed by the gift of self
From: Judyhaha7458
On 2000/11/13 14:27, Judyhaha7458 posted thus to the K-list:
Please bare with me as I pour my soul out to all:
My life was in caish, nothing ever finished nothing ever good enough nothing
ever pleasing. Always looking for something that I never lost, needing
something that I never felt I had. I would like to go back a little before I
go on to tell you about something that had repeated itself time and time
again. Whenever I was placed under anestegia for any amount of time, I
always dreamt of my life from beggining to end, never the same but with all
the same senarios. Starting when I was very young and progressively getting
older and at the same time where I was in life. And repeating in my mind
over and over there has to be more. Repeated over and over as my anastesia
wore off and reality became awaken.
The beggining of October, not sure of the date, I experienced at first
wakening (the moment that you are still asleep but about to wake up) in the
morning. I thought there was a hair on my face or something of the sort. Of
course, I reached to remove the object from my face, when I pulled it away I
felt the softest silk material in the form of a scarf or vail come off my
face. This scared me into full awakeness, and immediatley looked at my
hand! My hand was empty. This phenomenna laid very heavy on my mind to the
point I though it was an omen of death or a sign that I knew I needed to
understand.
Previsoulsy I had experienced grave depression and selflessness. To the
point I began a search for self, or to be united with my soul that I never
knew but was aware that existed. One day as myself and a friend accompnied
three Mentally Challenged clients to a book store I had never been to before.
I was amazed by the beautiy and mystery of the content, the interior, and
the spritually of this store. This experince enchanted me. The clients were
not at easy and had to keep redirect them. After purchasing a few items we
assisted them back to the van. I retuned momentarly to purchase a scarf
which had angels on it. My daughter collects angels and this brought me back
into the store. The person working there told me that I had a special gift
just by observing the way I interacted with the clients, he recommed Reiki.
At that time I had very little knowledge about reiki. A co-worker was taking
a class and had mention it. This peson told me Reiki would give me an
additional tool that I may be interested in, and could be beneficial aiding
with the clients.
Full of so many highs and lows a whirlwind to say the least!.Now I would like
to share my miracle. Oct 14th, 2000ATnospam 4:30 am I woke up and for no reason,
asked my husband to cross over me. Without hesitation he did as I requested,
at that time I moved to where he was laying and laid down. At that exact
moment complete calmness filled my whole being. Inside my chest I felt a
huge ball of warmth and light, which penterated throughout my whole body.
All of the past comfusions, conflictions, doubts, anxieties, etc were gone.
I understand now that this gift was my enlightment. My search for self led
me to this epefany in my life. I am still struggling trying tro understand
why I was chosen and if I am worthy.I know this gift I receive has deemed me
a healer. I have so much growing to do and I understand I will not have to
search for the path. Since these phenomenas have occured totaly
transformation is the only way I can describe the new me. The way I dress
the way I look the joy I fell inside knowing that my future is already laid
out before me.
A few things I would like to add a this time, something that I read at the
Kundalini web site mentioned one particular symptom, which had started even
before the enlightment. I started experience wooshing feeling that started
from my waist area and went up through my chest. Over time this wooshing
started to intensify to the point that the wooshing went up my chest down my
arms and into my hands. When it went down my hands it felt like electricity.
I was very concerned that there was something medical wrong with me. The
doctor told me it was my blood pressure but because on an intense health
ritual consisting of vitamins, soy protien drinks and excersice. The doctor
did not want to change my medication so they gave me a form of nerve medicine
of anxeity. On Friday evening at work, this wooshing pentrated up my chest
and down my arms and went through my head to the point of vision lost and
almost passing out, along with these symptons a tremendous pressure was
exerted on my chest accompanied with a pain that seemed to be going straight
through my heart. This pain travel up through my chest over my shoulder and
into the back of my shoulder plate. A friend of mine called 911 we both were
sure I was having cardiac arrest. With the emt and the abmbulance thought
the same, but when I got to the hospital the ran all the test and found
nothing wrong. They gave me a stronger anxiety medicaiton which helped
tremendously. And from this experience I knew what I had to do, during my
time of depression I was placed on medication and my intuetion led me to
believe that my system no longer needed that medication, because of the
enlightment, it became toxic to me. Right away with the doctor's help I
started weanning of this medicine. The withdrawl that I am going through is
enough to make any one go insane. Along with all of the changes from the
manifastation and the withdrawl sometime I feel I need to be locked into a
rubber room and left alone until this ends.
I am a mother of five with a large house and a full time job. I took Reiki
level one about three weeks and during this entunement was given a lot of
insight and information that told me that this is good and that there still
is a lot of work to be done. At this point in time I am struggling to time
to meditate which I know I need to do, to allow the teaching to be given.
Also doing Reiki on myself has helped.
Still at times I cannot believe that this is all happenning. But without
doubting I know that it is all for the universal good of humanity.
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