To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/13 06:23
Subject: Re: [K-list] In a nut shell (or am I nuts?)
From: José
On 2000/11/13 06:23, José posted thus to the K-list:
My message came back, but still wanted to tell you: I'm glad you are still
here, so you can tell this to us. It's so valuable. It's your life! Thank
you for that. And thank you for telling.
I know the hunger winterstories here in Holland. My aunt was a small child
then. She became a survivor under all circumstances. To be born in those
circumstances did not provide you with the easiest way of saying yes to
life.
Groet, José
>Dear So & So,
>
>You asked:
>> And, you?
>
>Am 56, born in Delft, Holland, hunger winter child, 5 early Near Death
>Experiences before I was six, many out of body experiences, nightmarish
>memories. Left to die in a German occupied sanatorium, remember all
details,
>was only about 10 months old. (Have compassionately worked it out with the
>German overseer about 4 years ago.) Loving father, loving mother (?)... He
>could fly off the handle, almost strangled me, banged in my head, almost
set
>me on fire. She was cold and unfeeling... I thought. She sang a lot of
songs
>with me. I was always so sad. Came to love them both very much. Got
molested
>various times, uncle, pastor. (Worked that out compassionately four years
>ago as well). Discovered that I was clairvoyant when I was 8 years old.
>Nobody could relate to me. When I was 13, I helped my dad through a deep
>depression, him suicidal, my mother had no inkling of it, she was jealous.
I
>was very religious, spiritual, had enormous love for Christ, Mary, Elijah.
>Five brothers, one sister. Father (86) died last year, very beautiful.
>Mother still strong (84) will visit us in Canada next year. Studied to be
an
>elementary school teacher before I was 19. Became a Trappist monk when I
was
>19 after long and deep extatic cosmic experiences. Very artistic,
sculpting,
>poetry, music. Met three angels in the moors of southern Holland while I
was
>digging for clay. After +/- 3 years in monastery became artistically very
>active until I met my wife, Emmy. Soul to soul contact, married soon after
>in 1968. Lived in a chicken house in southern part of rural Holland (Van
>Gogh country). Started guru career (hehehe). Immigrated to Canada in 1971
>for seclusion, started from scratch again, lived in tent for three months
in
>the woods, build little cabin, build large house four-handedly (it took
>myself and Emmy 4.5 years). Guru stuff again around 1975. Worked in a
>factory to support ourselves. Factory Guru, neat stuff, dangerous stuff.
>Various deep satoris, enlightenments. 1975, Kundalini struck, put purposely
>on hold, I had a plan... 1977, our son Emanuel was born, home birth in
>cabin, flocks of angels. His up-bringing was totally radical and
>experimental... we did as little as we could... grass grows by itself... He
>is a fantastic person, got enlightened when he was 17 while on trip through
>Holland with us. What a treat for parents. Started a Montessori school
>around him when he was about 5 years old in a basement. It grew into a
>school of 150 children. Was vice principal, too political, eventually
>dropped out. Started an experiment to try to destroy myself to see if there
>is an innate self healing mechanism in us that can emotionaly, mentally,
>spiritually heal us. (The Kundalini process that I had put on hold before.)
>Did pretty well anything bad that could be done badly, except for killing
>human beings. Had pedophile tendencies, homosexual practices. Good thing
>there were three angels looking over my shoulders and protecting the little
>children. Hardest time in my life, very dangerous. Became succesful
software
>and computer training company instructor and manager. After 13 years of the
>self destructive experiment, (God are we ever resilient) Kundalini struck
>again... AHA, that is the self healing mechanism. Took 960 days, plus 40
>days in the 'desert' for temptations. Second hardest time in my life... no
>morals, no rules. E.g., when I had to drive a car I did not even see the
>traffic lights or lines on the road, could not obey any rules, had to
>manoever just by the seat of my pants, was actually safer than one fears to
>believe. After that, another 12 days for messianic style bodhisattva
>development. Was in Italy with Emmy and Emanuel about 4.5 years ago when I
>went through 6 hours of the most intense ecstacy, holy spirit, divine
>wisdom, eternal being, recovery of divinity. Near death experience in
>Holland a few days later... Was not allowed to 'pass on', those three
angels
>kept sending me back. Emmy was happy about that. (Actually, in retrospect
at
>some points she was not too happy about that, is OK now.) Enormous spells
of
>the most intense love, human, cosmic, divine, like what happened when I was
>19. Often almost too much, had to intensively ground myself. Visionary
>episodes in my life, remembered the agony and death of Jesus. Remember
being
>on the cross myself. (Strange thing, that cross, not at all as
traditionally
>depicted.) Remember to be John (the apostle), the grief and grieving when
my
>very best friend Jesus had died we thought. We did not understand him one
>bit, really, the weeping, sobbing. Remember Jesus's transfiguration with
>Moses and Elijah, me just a young kid. Remember Adam's Eden episode and his
>kundalini experience. Remembered the origin of creation, the most wonderful
>and humorous instant. Am able to transmigrate into other bodies,
>transmigrate into a grain of sand for example. Can astral travel inside the
>human body. Frequent realms that we used to call hell, purgatory, hades.
>Participate in Christ's liberation of eternally doomed souls (that is what
>they were forced to think by malicious judgemental human beings), the most
>wonderful work there is. Had the seventh Near Death Experience in Denver
>(after the school shootings there, approx. 1.5 years ago), was allowed to
>return into God, was totally on my way... decided not to carry on, it (?)
>could indeed wait, life is love, fun, bliss and glorious, returned back to
>life to take up bodhisattva hood. Am typing this to you, am considering to
>send this to the Harsha Satsangh, Sri Yantra and Kundalini group as well.
>
>Love,
>Wim
1/9699/2/_/680797/_/974122194/
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