To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/13 05:31
Subject: [K-list] The foundations of my self beliefs
From: Fiona
On 2000/11/13 05:31, Fiona posted thus to the K-list:
People here will be familiar with the writings of my partner,
Christopher Wynter .. and in the past some of my material
has been posted in his name. Now, I've joined the list
We don't have all of the answers .. for every day brings a new level
of self revelation. Sometimes they are just realisations. Sometimes
there is a heap of emotion comes up .. each new venture into the
unconscious of my body, no matter what triggers it, brings up
deeper levels of self understanding and clarity of thought.
Memories came today .. from a place I have visited in the past,
but this time much deeper..
Issues arose that needed clarification or remain swinging on a
razor's edge ..
In my life, major illnesses have occurred at this time for me ..
starting from September and building up through November in
particular.
Today I was able to go back into my unconscious remembering and
access .. My conception and the following 12 weeks.
This is a brief annotation of some of the memories that came out
of my body, together with some of the understandings which came
from those memories. What is written here is no means complete.
Conception ..
pulled out of the ethers into my mother's body by Nanna's prayers.
It was Nanna's need for my mother to have a child to make up for
the ones Nanna had lost .. and she was always much stronger than my
mother .. her Will was absolute. She needed the vehicle of my
mother's body to recreate the babies she had lost. Prayer was her
medium of control.
Week 1 ..
Grief. The womb was defiled by another child's presence but
definitely not a twin. The memory and essence of my brother who had
been miscarried before me was in the womb but there wasn't room for
both of our souls.
Week 2 ..
Fight to stay embedded in the womb lining. My brother had to
leave. Vibration of death around the first two weeks of my life. My
brother had to finally leave the womb .. starting my lifelong
search for a soul mate .. the mirror of my miscarried brother.
Week 3 ..
Mother's antibodies trying to reject me. I was alien to her body.
Parasitic host ... but definitely not heavenly.
Week 4 ..
Poison in my system. Mother felt unwell. She suspected that she
was pregnant. Drank comfrey tea.(which can cause miscarriage) Over
the last few weeks I have been feeling quite nauseous .. is this
the body memory?
Week 5 ..
Blood system sluggish. (side effect of comfrey tea)
Week 6 ..
Mother's body actively started rejecting foetus implanting. The
womb was not a safe place for me to be .. I've always had the
feeling that I wanted to go home .. but that was the reflection of
mothers projection on the foetus .. she did not want to be pregnant
with me .. there was a conflict between Nanna's projections and
mother's secret thoughts.
Week 7 ..
Mother became aware of body changes...knew she was pregnant but
not willing to admit it out loud. Kept it secret from Dad. It's
taken a long time for me to develop a relationship with my father.
Week 8 ..
Depression and despair. Loneliness ..in a city far from her
mother. She still could not accept my existence .. and for a long
time, I have had difficulty accepting myself.
Week 9..
Resonant frequency of Mother's prayers vibrating through the body
caused damage to the developing organs of the fetus particularly
the reptilian brain by interfering with the flow of oxygen. The
repetition of prayer acts as a mesmerism causing breathing changes
which affects the flow of blood through the placenta. Created an
emotional tie to mother's deep unconscious thoughts. I was tied to
mother's prayer energy .. and punti very recently I was conscious
of the pull from her every time she mentioned my name in prayer. My
thoughts were not my own.
Week 10 ..
Fear the foetus was alive and well and living in her body.
Week 11 ..
Fear of the pain of giving birth to the foetus.
Week 12 ..
Vow to control it and own it for the pain it was putting her
through. Being born would be my punishment for her pain. More
comfrey to stop the pain. Mother really didn't want me to be alive.
The "reptilian" brain develops first.and activates the fight of
flight mechanism. The brain tissues start to develop about 2.5 weeks.
The foetus cannot exist in the womb without the lifeline to Mother
through the placenta ... translates to ...the child cannot exist
alone even as an adult.
Every time Mother prays for the child it activates the remembering
of the vibration in the womb and the hook in the reptilian brain ..
fight or flight from mother but the child can do neither.
For me, survival was totally dependant on mother until this hook
was broken.
Note:
These results came from part of a standard "Self Help" exercise
that Christopher introduced into his work with the group he
facilitates here in Hobart
Fiona Tulk
Hobart Tasmania
1/9698/2/_/680797/_/974118727/
---------------------------------------------------------------------_->
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.