To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/10 19:50
Subject: [K-list] Also was waiting in the Wings,Mandy
From: The Inside Line

Hello everyone...

 I just read Wendy's post and wanted to introduce myself also. I never felt
I belonged here since I was little. But at 14 I smoked a hit of pot which
changed my life. I went blind for 3 days,feeling a 1,000 pd. weight on me,
floating in deep black space. A new friend I named Moses that was 2 stories
high and See thruy. When sight returned, had achy tunnel vision for so long,
but the colors were like an acid trip with cartoon people everywhere,
walking thru everybody here, or in the air. Somehow I kept this and many
other things from everyone? That to me is the bizarre part. Had to start
taking drugs and alcohol to stay awake. Quite school. Ran away. I can't
remember many years of my life. (Makes me wonder why some kids really do
drugs).

Symptoms would change and eventually at 22 I stopped all drugs and was
consumed by anxiety and panic attacks. Every second of every day. Still no
one new my circumstances. Met a man who understood and he took me in. He
sent me to Pyhciatrists for years. I got a meditation tape and learned to
meditate and after 30 days I entered the silence. I floated in deep dark
space and the energy started from way out there. It entered my head and went
down thru and below me then back up. Pure Extasy. I would do this 8 hours a
day while seeing visions and my dog pushing up against me with every wave of
energy. I found out I could heal immediately if I held onto someone when
while meditating.

Well, the end happened one day when meditating.
 I found myself on a table in a very bright room with some beings. They laid
me down and put a clamp around my stomach. This brought me out of
meditation. I was so angry. I went back to meditate and what took 45 seconds
to reach the Zone took 1 hour. I was back with them and they put a second
clamp around my throat. I have never reached another deep state since or
felt the energy no matter what practice or group I've been with, although I
still do color chakra breathing, daily.

Does this sound like I have had Prana experiences or Kundalini of any kind?

Someone said for my protection I could of been stopped from having my
Kundalini awakened prematurely.
 
I would appreciate any help as I do not understand my life one bit and have
gone around in circles trying to find out what's been wrong with me. Maybe I
am deranged, even that would be a relief to know as I am still a spacey
person and way too sensitive. It seems all of you know what happened to
you. It's like your paths were straight and true and mine is haywire.

Thank you for being out and in here,

Mandy
  

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