To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/10/27 20:24
Subject: Re: [K-list] a new manual
From: Kundalini-Gateway 1-Oroborus
On 2000/10/27 20:24, Kundalini-Gateway 1-Oroborus posted thus to the K-list:
Responding to my own post..:) How's that for narcissism?
At 02:07 PM 9/28/00, Mystress Angelique Serpent wrote:
> If it is meant to
>be, then Goddess will provide. If they are really turning their lives over
>to Divine Will and Goddess tells them to spend the grocery money, <..> then they will make that leap of faith and it will be rewarded.
> I know that makes no sense from a scarcity consciousness point of
>view.. but the choice to take the course is a choice to turn your life over
>to Divine Will.. the process of K. itself is that... and it is a process of
>making leaps of faith over piles of fear. Making following Divine Will more
>important than the navigation of fear.
>
> I'm doing that leap again next week. druid and I are feeling strongly
>pulled to visit the Ghost town Goddess has chosen as the location for the
>Mystery School, and the trip will cost about $1500.. we cannot afford to do
>it now, and we certainly cannot afford the $5 million price tag for the
>real estate.. but the pull to go see the place now is strong enough that we
>are making the leap of faith to put the trip on the credit card and
>trusting Goddess to pay the bill when it comes. She Will. It is Her idea so
>She will provide for it.
The story continues..:
We went to the ghost town last weekend. The trip was postponed 2 weeks because the weekend we intended to go, was Canadian Thanksgiving and the town was closed for the weekend.. LOL!! They roll up the sidewalks on long weekends, or something.
The flight for druid and I cost just over $1200... on the credit card.
he agreed to pay for it because he likes giving me gifts and I seldom desire anything... he came home from work yesterday laughing because he had gotten an unexpected bonus at work, and after taxes it came to just over $1200...
Goddess Provides. :)
Our return was postponed for a day because the little seaplane could not handle the rainstorm the Rain God made when I put Chacmool's crystal in the grass for a rain-bath. I saw him dancing for joy over the rocks after I put the crystal down, and when the Rain God does a rain dance in a rainforest, better start building an ark..:) It was cool with me, I loved it there and felt like I was not done yet. The rain was lovely, but druid had to get back to work so I explained that to the rain God.. :) It kept raining but the wind died away and so the Grumman Goose flew in to take us home. Amphibian airplane.. very kewl..
> I was provided for while I spent the last year working on this Tantra
>course, and I know that I will be provided for, to create the multi-million
>dollar Kundalini Mystery School-Retreat center that is in my future. How or
>when the money will come, I dunno. That part of it is not up to me. Goddess
>gave me a vision of this place when I was 9 years old.. it is Her will that
>it be done, and She will provide the $millions for it. I work on doing what
>I can do.. writing the development proposal and planning the space.
>Putting the vision onto paper in a way that it can be shared and inspire
>the other people who will be a part of it manifesting.
Something happened to me, last weekend. My trip.. finally walking up those steps again .. it is like it was some kind of soul retrieval, like some part of me had been stuck in that building as 9 year old time traveller and finally bringing the body there pulled the past present and future selves together.
sorry if that sounds confusing.. I'm not well anchored in time...
When I was 9 years old I had a lucid dream where I time travelled forward into the body of my future adult self.. who gave me a tour of a building where the dream took place. Finding that building was the result of many years intuitive quest. Walking through it last weekend, with my memories of how it will look in the future and what I thought of it at age 9... did something. I don't know what, exactly, but I am very grateful for it. I feel like I got something back that was lost so long ago that I'd forgotten what it felt like to have it...
Today I was at the memorial reception for my friend's wife, who died on Monday. This friend is the only person I distinctly remember from the dream, because he is so memorable. He is a scientist, and after most of the guests had left, I told him of my soul retrieval feelings of walking in a place I had only been in, in a dream long ago and he said "That is all good physics".
Someday, on a different occasion when grief has passed.. I will get him to explain that.. I will get him to explain all of it and I'll record it.. and transcribe it.. and he will win the Nobel Prize I have known he will win since I was 9..
I feel like Merlin, like I have been living backwards thru time.. what child gets to find out what they will be like as an adult? It changed me in ways I still cannot comprehend. It gave me a sense of my place in time.. as a relative position: most children live in the moment and never think of the next week unless it is a birthday party, let alone knowing what they will be like, decades later...
Let alone being a child dropping into a silent mind that is a vessel of Divine will.. the dream was exciting because it was so blissful, and terrifying because the child decided (correctly, I think..) the adult had gone insane.
Children should not be in a BDSM environment, but whoever arranged for a 9 year old to time travel did not take that into consideration.
Somehow some part of the child got lost in the dream and the adult took over too young?? Now that I have closed the loop by placing my physical body in the physical dream location, somehow I am now more like the woman I was in the dream of my future than I was last week.. so what is free will to someone who lives backwards thru time?
Whatever it is, I'm no longer stuck in the witness state, thank Goddess!
.. instead, with a child's gleeful passion I am mentally at the drafting table redesigning an abandoned hotel to fit my memories. Memories of things that did not make sense before from a child's understanding falling into place like puzzle pieces as I sort my memories of the physical building and my memories of how it will look in the future and finally understanding silly things, like how the elaborate mouldings hid the wires and conduit where we'd upgraded, and the greek pillars were a fancy disguise for steel beams where we'd knocked out walls and added plumbing. Wheeeeeeee!!
Blessings...
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