To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/10/09 18:01
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re: energy/perceptual clarity and sex
From: Wim Borsboom
On 2000/10/09 18:01, Wim Borsboom posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Harsha, JB, Chris, Susan et al.
Harsha wrote:
> Perhaps Wim and Bob can comment on that from their
> experience if they have not already done so.
Celibacy, sex!
Hhhhhhwww...zzzzjjjjjjhhhhh.
Alpha Omega
Being!
That first,
No matter what,
All of us are,
All of this is.
All of us are individual,
In this (your) spot...
In this (your) moment...
All of us have one primal origin.
As long ago for every thing and body
All from one dimensionless point
All of this is apart,
All of this is a part.
All of this is one conglomerate,
We are all in this together.
Of course:
There is more to time than meets the watch
(beats the heart)
There is more to space than meets the eye
If one adheres to a philosophy that does not count in all of the above, one
adheres to a flawed philosophy!
Relationship, connectedness, interference is what follows.
Apartness in oneness,
Each of us starts with apartness AS we come from oneness.
That is our earthly plight.
The miracle!
The delight!
And no doubt... right?
We are here on earth!
Right!
I am looking for absolute affirmation here.
This is where we are!
This is where it's at!
No way out of this
at this moment here
where you are now!
Of course...
The (inspired) format of this is:
life/love,
love/life.
There are so many forms of expressing that, making that *known*.
Did 'knowledge' not originally mean carnal knowledge?
Did 'knowing' not originally mean intercourse?
Did that mean sexual intercourse? Well, why not?
Sexuality is the dynamic from which we physically originated,
If your philosophy does not include that...
you are adhering to a flawed philosophy.
We are all conceived in a moment of intercourse,
Every one of us,
Every thing of all that is.
Do not come up with stories that discount that, like 'walk ins', 'aliens',
etc.
All that is BS based on a difficulty with the acknowledgement that sex is
OK, or a difficulty with the acknowledgement that earthly roots are OK.
We are here on earth and that is OK
More than OK.
OK?
OK!
That many of us were not wanted, or were supposed to be of the other gender
or were born too early or too late in the eyes of people who pronounced such
nonsense, that has nothing to do with THAT we ARE here now. The problem
about the fact that we were not welcome has proliferated into all kinds of
schemes and manoeuvres, escape, avoidance, transcendence... sneaking off,
playing hooky. All to do with fear, not wanted to be here, therefore
eventually not wanting to be here. Schemes of avoidance of being, brought
about by a mentalization that our being was somehow problematic to someone
at some point in time.
We firsts have to set the basics right, reset the system. Reconditioning.
Only then can we consider points of reality related to descendence,
ascendance, transcendence, hyper- or even hypo- cendence. If, indeed, we
have to do anything with x-cendence at all. There are so many different
meanings behind words that are related to transcendence that I started to
use the word less and less.
We only have to consider to be in the moment.
The moment, this multi-topical and supra-dimensional place of convergence of
all energies. Whatever arises from such beingness can only be the energy of
love and life.
So here an attempt at resetting some sexual parameters. Reconditioning
Susan wrote:
> ..it does not require penetration, ejaculation and orgasm from a
> man to satisfy a woman.
> The sound of my lover's voice, whispering in my ear, sends shivers of
> orgasms up my spine.
> A soft caress, a loving smile that comes from his eyes...sigh...
> Be creative gentlemen.
This is very good advice... very, very good.
Also, let your lady guide you.
Men overall (that is the western men, I do not know about oriental men) do
not really know how to make a woman happy and ecstatic. During the
adolescent peer years, most innate and naive knowledge, fresh youthful
inklings and instincts get lost, mucked up by bragging stories of
incompetence and insecurity.
Climax and ejaculation may happen (indeed) but are not to be the 'end all'
goal of love making. To be honest, ejaculation is only then needed when you
want to conceive a child. But what the heck.., why being purist about it,
when it happens enjoy it and let the lady hear and participate in your
enjoyment. What a boon birth control has become, in whatever form! It has
changed the dynamics of life towards more freedom. Freedom, that probably
needs some recalibration by now.
(Oh, and then there is the topic of female ejaculate, oh ambrosia. But we
will leave that for now.)
(The following tantric like issues are a little more directed to men than to
women, as it is a man (JB?) whom I indirectly like to answer. Also I am
directing it to people not working on these tantric like practices with a
partner, kind of 'solo". I have my reasons for that. Maybe if I work on this
a bit more, it could be adapted to both two genders but I think that it is
inspiring enough and... women do not have as many problems with the
following than men. Huh??? If there is a problem with a woman it is normally
the man around her, Huh??? Did I just put my foot in my mouth rather than my
tongue in my cheek?)
The ability to have sex (alone or together) without ejaculation is extremely
important when one wants to reclaim one's primal, original and steady state
of love in it's grandest reality. Men can train themselves with masturbation
(oh yes!) to extend and expand the wonderful erotic feelings into waves and
wafts and whips... and... spread them upwards throughout your body, into
your toes, into your fingertips, your tongue... even into your head (That
gets rid of the mind soon!), any place. And yes, use your voice for a
change, sing, grunt, higher and lower sounds, vibrate, force yourself to let
that happen. Involve the throat chakra... that will open a 'bottle neck'
and... a can of worms. (Or to say it properly, free up the proverbial snake
of K., that wonderful serpentine energy.)
This is real Krishna work, you can make it your homework as well. Work
yourself into a frenzy until it is almost too much and then leave it at
that... no ejaculation... come down gently and start again some time
later... up to four or five times. Once a week should be OK. but why
economizing?
Some people may want to use sweets, chocolate, some light aphrodisiacs,
candles and incense, music, ceremonies, appropriate pictures to help things
going... but eventually that will have to go... as we are trying to reclaim
our inborn-unconditional-steady-state-of-love.
'Reclaim' is the word here... Re-cognizing, knowing it again. Re-membering.
I eventually started to remember, that before I got violated and messed up
by my loving (loving, oh yes) parents and subsequent up-growers, that love
is THE innate state of being, it is what the baby is at the point of
conception, what it is in the womb, what it is to remain as it is given
birth to and grows on and up. I remember it now so vividly. Also..... I
remember the moments when I got knocked out of it. By the way, when one
weeps, sobs or cries always look for that sweet moment and feeling of 'self
sorrow'. That is THE moment where there is still a small remnant of your
original state of love left, you can pick up from there. Self-sorrow, just
before it becomes self-pity (a bit of which is OK too) is another way to
retrieve one's steady state of innate love.
The natural unconditional steady state of love... Nature, in its natural
state is that way. Nature in its adorned and adorning state is that way.
Plants, shrubs, trees, flowers are that way, animals are and do feel that
way, cows, horses, insects. A rock is that way, a grain of sand is that, a
tumbling autumn leave. Gravity is that way. A hammer that hits the nail
sounds it out for us. Everything that is, is that way. Only illusion is not
that way... and we CAN illuminate all our illusions away... Life without
suffering is that way and is coming our way...
What not to do?
Omigosh!
Better not to use dope or alcohol. Or only if you are strong and able to
call it quits at some point. Normally one needs controlling guidance for
that, an outside caller. So maybe just for a little while, imbibe something
like 'Crème de Cassis' from France or a very expensive sweet Portuguese
Sherry, or a good quality liquor invented and still produced by monks. Very
good Japanese, sake? OK. Mind you some Zen monks (and some tantric Buddhist
ones neither) did not stop imbibing and when they died their followers could
not find the pineal crystal in the those monks' ashes...
So actually, it is better not to use dope or alcohol (for reasons that I do
not want to get into more.) It IS not needed and ANY WAY one has to overcome
it at some point in time... It is only 'poespas' as we say in Holland.
Of course what I am describing is all very tantric, but I am trying to take
it out of the tantric yoga context, the paradigms do not overlap... It is
best to get to a contemporary mode of unconditional steady love retrieval
and innate ecstasy reclamation, lest we get lost in cultural traps. A bit of
culture is OK for the atmosphere... but we live here now in this day and
age. Nostalgia and past live homesickness is not what we are after...
Take an afternoon for it, do not let anybody know, go a bit weird with it...
but... do not let others suffer in any way... this is for you by you. This
will get you eventually to the highest feelings and the realization of love,
becoming supra-sexual and eventually cosmic and universal. The eroticism
becomes a steady state, one becomes Eros. (Women will become Psyche.)
Going about it this way, the initial sexual and erotic energies, which at
first tend to come from the second and first chakra, will need and WILL find
a way higher up so to speak. (Also the spine will get involved, but let me
leave that for another time.)
I think that a woman so much more naturally does all the above anyway, (but
what do I know, I am a man.)
During intercourse, foreplay needs to be extended, if there is a climax or
ejaculation, afterplay is to be as long as foreplay.
Men need to learn to be guided by their women for a change. Let women help
you explore. That is surrender... there is no boredom in surrender, so let
that be your guide.
Be like young 12 year olds again and rediscover from scratch. Just consider
that you know nothing about sex and start again, very fragile-ly, tenderly.
And for love's sake, guys (if this is your problem) do NOT try to be a man
who knows what to do..., because you don't. Oh and if you are so lucky to be
stroked and caressed by your lady, allooooow tiiiiime, surrender. Enjoy your
own feelings, let her explore you. She may know more about you than you know
about yourself. Have love happen again gradually, do not expect anything and
notice the tiny sweet feelings, do not expect the big outstanding sweeps.
Start again with small whooshes of wisps of love. And do not brag to other
men about it, keep it all a gentle secret, you just discovered this great
new adventure... retrieve your youth...
(By the way, Angelique, my hair is getting darker instead of whiter. Of
course it is the Grecian Formula, but I will keep that a secret. Oh god,
did I just give it away!)
And by the way, celibacy may happen too at some point, but bliss of the
innate steady state of unconditional love never wanes, and who knows you
will get a taste of ambrosia (amrita=immortality) as well. That is
ultimately the condition of the unconditioned. At some point you WILL
reclaim it.
Condition literally means: "That which is a given, that which comes with
it." To be unconditional means really that you accept all the givens, e.g.
real things, stuff as is. Stuff is unconditional, stuff is a given,
unconditionally granted, a grace, a gift.
Love,
Wim
/971138807/
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