To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/10/08 11:26
Subject: Re: [K-list] The Role of Consciousness
From: José
On 2000/10/08 11:26, José posted thus to the K-list:
Thank you Bob for your insightfull post. I'm on this list for a few months,
and I have looked in vain for this kind of discussion. I hope I don't offend
anyone, it has probably been discussed in the past.
In short, if you didn't read my introduction on the list: I had a pretty
rough K-awakening following intensive meditation in India, which gave me a
bipolar disorder. I did go through hell in the beginning. In the last 4
years or so I began to have many different K-symptoms - the nicer ones as
well - that are described by people on this list.
When this happened in India, I had quite some consciousness on worldly
matters, having studied and travelled a lot. But, as I know now, I had
practically no consciousness on my inner self, on everything that was going
on inside me. Somehow, intuitively, after this happened I didn't want to
meditate anymore and did lots of therapy (dance and bodywork).
I do think that my consciousness on my inner self had to be raised first,
before K could start doing its work inside me. Still, the way I see it now,
I do think that - with the proper guidance - I could have continued
meditating, probably in combination with therapy. I was simply too afraid to
meditate again, since I had no idea what had happened to me in India.
>And also, perhaps most importantly, the inner stabilty
>to observe and withstand the storms of change brought on by an
>awakened K, as well as the storms of everyday life. In short, as we
>become the silent witness we not only awaken K, but we are in a
>position to observe the metamorphosis with detachment and intuit the
>measures necessary to cope with it.
Absolutely. The healing of trauma was necessary for me to develop that
silent witness without being blown off my feet and even when it was there,
it would observe a lot of turmoil inside. To really achieve peacefullness
inside, I had to be given a base again, since I had a very unsteady
beginning of my life. I needed other people for that, meditation alone
wouldn't have helped. I didn't know what it felt like being "allowed" to
exist. Now I do, and only now can I experience a silent, peacefull oneness
with the world around me and everyday life. That is, if usually busy
everyday life allowes for it. I always have to take good care to cope.
The raising of conscousness is vital to me, since it is constantly showing
me again where to go for more healing, new knowledge, in a gradual way.
K-experiences keep happening, but that is not only what my life is about, so
I try to find ways to fit them in, live with it.
I think raising consciousness on the real aims of the inner self is
essential. To really look into your real motivation for every action.
Otherwise you can experience bliss one moment, and act out in your daily
life from basic self-needs the next. To me gaining more insight into my own
acting in daily life is just as important as aknowledging the experiences I
have through K-awakening. And because of an unstable base, these things take
time. I suppose with a steady base it can all go faster.
So far for my views,
hope to hear more, José
http://www.onelist.com/community/Kundalini-Gateway
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