To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/09/23 19:09
Subject: [K-list] saturday thoughts
From: a m y
On 2000/09/23 19:09, a m y posted thus to the K-list:
Hi there,
I wanted to just say thanks to everyone who addressed my cynicism toward
Blythe's post, and thanks, Blythe, for being so kind. I haven't changed my
views, but have certainly rethought it and I'm glad I said my two cents
because it was so interesting to discuss it with you all.
Basically I wasn't able to articulate why I felt the way I did. Maybe I can
try again now..
This list and all the K lists have been very helpful to me, but also
frustrating. I knew NOTHING about kundalini when I began to experience it.
I've had strong physical symptoms, the high voltage kind (ie getting ZAPPED
in the brain!). It's been going about a year now and although it is
completely manageable because it only happens at night when I'm about to
fall asleep, I honestly feel like I have lived through the most amount
terror that any person could ever experience and still be alive. It took 6
months before I could even BEGIN to believe that K was a real fact of life.
From day one, I've had difficulty finding someone to talk to about
kundalini. I went to "New Age" counselors, etc and would come away even more
terrified, realizing that these people who the world considered to be
spiritually advanced had never experienced anything even close to what I was
going through. As you can imagine, this was very confusing!
On the K lists I've found a few people whose experiences are similar to
mine. I've also read personal accounts in books that have been comforting to
me, showing me that I'm not alone. But even now, I have questions.
It seems like so many people have different ideas of what kundalini is, and
that most of the people who know about it and experience it are very
knowledgeable about Eastern religions. Being a skeptical westerner ;) I
don't understand why K decided to erupt in me. How on earth did this
happen?? And an even larger question for me is...what am I supposed to do?
How do I deal with this? And, what should I expect?
I actually get sort of scared when I read posts on the lists that describe K
as being something other than my flailing ideas of what it must be. That's
probably why I reacted to Blythe's post the way I did. It was basically a
defense for me. Hope that's understandable.
Anyway, this is getting long. Hope you all are having a great weekend, and
feel free to write to me about any of this anytime.
Love,
amy
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