To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/09/21 13:08
Subject: [K-list] Fwd: Re: Where do we go ?
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent

1/9068/6/_/680797/_/969566948/
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   Chris, you sent this to the -owner address..

>X-eGroups-Return: cfitzgeraldATnospamcwcom.net
>X-eGroups-Return: cfitzgeraldATnospamcwcom.net
>Date: Tue, 19 Sep 2000 20:22:26 -0000
>From: "Chris " <cfitzgeraldATnospamcwcom.net>
>To: Kundalini-Gateway-ownerATnospamegroups.com
>Subject: Re: Where do we go ?
>
>--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamegroups.com, "Horia Cristescu" <horiaATnospamc...>
>wrote:
> So, this
>Kundalini force must be something if she can turn the old me that I
>knew into this new and unthinkable me. She must be a terrible force
>if she will pose me the question : Will you renounce to your limited
>self, will you let it Die and accept .......................
> >
> > Love,
> > Horia.
> >
>Hi Horia
>
>I went through a phase of fear a few years ago, not so much about the
>question of where will we go, but a fear about the vista that was
>opening up before me. It was so big I couldn't take it in, so big
>that I was frightened that I would never understand it and the
>vastness of it made me realise how so, so tiny I am, the human ego
>didn't like that. I don't think I ever will understand it but it
>doesn't matter any more because I have developed, over time an utter
>faith in the process. There is something to be said for that old
>dictum "die before you die", I think Kiekergaard (spelling?) said it.
>
>When I got angry I shouted at God (the aura was like watching
>fireworks I am told), s/he is big enough to take it and I was not
>damned. After one of my outbursts I was so exhausted I went for a
>sleep and the minute I closed my eyes I had a vision of these massive
>feet and legs and there was little old me, samller than a pin prick
>on this enormous figure, stood on one of the big toes stamping for
>all I was worth. Did I sleep? No, but I had a good laugh.
>
>Another incident of a different kind was when I was Ill and I watched
>the angel of death come for me, I feel into his arms but I was a
>reject and got sent back.
>
>If you watch Star Trek there is an aspect of the Borg that totally
>fascinates me. It's the idea of the collective consciousness, the non
>seperateness of being absorbed back into the whole. That's what I
>feel is at the end of the road, wherever that may be, its HOME (not
>shouting just lovingly emphasising).
>
>I found the most painful phase was when the backlog of physical and
>emotional dross was being cleared, but nothing lasts forever and
>through that period I came to the point (from being exhausted from
>fighting it) when I talked to it(K) and said "get on with it, do your
>worst", it wasn't so difficult after that. Life, death, pain doubt
>etc, is just another phase.
>
>I have found that in embracing it, it has embraced me.
>
>may the force be with you, and you with it
>Chris

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