To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/09/12 20:48
Subject: [K-list] Report from the Plateau
From: Nancy
On 2000/09/12 20:48, Nancy posted thus to the K-list:
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You know what's weird? When your transitions into yet another new
phase don't phase you much.
It was about a year and a half ago when I did some work on
attachment. I had such a problem clinging to things in my life, even
things that were painful to me. I took an interesting journey through
"ego death" and discovered my attachments and barriers.
I haven't really thought much about that experience. Right
afterwards, I had a feeling of: That was sure unusual! I felt less
encumbered and just let the experience go.
Right now, I feel like I'm about ready to embark on a major life
transition. My work has not been satisfying for a while. Before, this
would have caused me great unhappiness. Now, I listen and watch for
opportunities to create work that is more interesting to me. I was in
a relationship that wasn't satisfying. Before I would have stuck
things out and hoped that everything could get better. This time, I
cut the ties and have had no remorse.
I'm being called to do new things and live a different way. This
would have scared me two years ago. I wouldn't have really have
wanted
to open my eyes and see this. Today, I want to see it but understand
that I have to wait for things to unfold in their own time.
When you get to this point, it's so different than the drama-filled
life. I realize that the drama served as a way to keep myself
preoccupied so I didn't have to face what was next.
Sometimes I feel flat, like I've been on one continuing plateau. In
hindsight, maybe these plateaus are more a gradual climb. I guess the
gradual climb is not too exciting to talk about, but much less
stressful than climbing up and down the mountains of life.
Lately, my work has been finding the truth from the perspective that
truth is multifaceted. I've been doing some research on an historical
subject (and I'm not even a history buff!) and I've found leads to
documented evidence on a new perspective on this subject. It's
amazing to me that historians have not had the curiosity or
perserverence to follow the trail I'm on.
Then I realized that it's no different in life. We go by what the
"experts" tell us and take the groomed trail. The spiritual life asks
us to go off in the wilderness and find our way.
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