To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/08/22 08:00
Subject: [K-list] Comments Re: Digest Number 268
From: choldford
On 2000/08/22 08:00, choldford posted thus to the K-list:
Hi everyone,
Thanks for the book recommendations...the Yvonne Kason, MD, book sounds
wonderful. When I try to pinpoint when my "awakening" began, I get
confused because (as you all probably know) this journey begins to mesh
together after a while. If I think about it, I sometimes have to wonder
if my entire life hasn't been like those few moments before waking, and
that my current experience is merely the actual waking up
process...sometimes a little groggy, but aware that a new day is here,
and excited by that realization. Make sense?
I have been experiencing the "emergency" aspect of my awakening since
last November, and even checked into a local mental facility for
depression in February. What I was told was "hypomania", I now realize
was my mind tapping in to the realms of consciousness we all now know
exist. I am a social work student, and have had a lifelong love affair
with psychology and the mysteries of the mind, so it was a struggle of
the ego to become the observed, rather than the observer. The sanity vs
insanity fear has been my greatest struggle, and it has never been
enough for me to go with the old cliche "The truly insane never know
they are insane"....I have certainly felt moments where insanity was the
only explanation, until of course I learned of Kundalini and the process
of spiritual emergence.
Bee, I would recommend to you, if you haven't read it already -
"Spiritual Emergency", by Christina Grof. This book is wonderful, for
both the person experiencing an awakening, and also those in the
profession of mental health who wish to understand the spiritual
component of "mental illness". I still struggle with the realization
that my physician, and my therapist - 2 people who became very dear to
me during my dark night of the soul- may never understand (in this
lifetime anyway) that there is more to the human experience than what
they were taught in school. It saddens and frustrates me, and
occasionally leads me back into self-doubt. Psychic openings are not
always undetected vision problem, unresolved complexes, or schizoid
fantasies, and I know this now, but there are always those moments when
you start to wonder :) If it weren't for the support of my husband, I
can't imagine where that self-doubt might have led my mind. It does make
me wonder about some of the people I saw during my hospital stay....I
think there is a thin line between psychosis and the awakening, and I
can't help but wonder if some of them crossed that line due to lack of
support.
Not sure what I am rambling about :), so i will leave it here for now.
Thank you for the great posts.
C
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