To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/08/21 05:07
Subject: Re: [K-list] Healing Garble
From: Kathy Jantz
On 2000/08/21 05:07, Kathy Jantz posted thus to the K-list:
Blythe , Paul ~
I feel such tender stirrings when I read these post's this morning. I too feel a loneliness that this spiritual awakening has intensified. It (k-awakening) has opened doors that can never again be walked *back through*. On one hand I have this compassion and love for every one & *everything* i.e. ~~~> (I *welcomed* a new antique dresser which holds a lot of my books and spiritual tools into my life last night :)) in my life yet this *personal responsibility* to evolve is so strong that I feel I cannot sit and wait for the significant others in my life *to get it*! But what choice do I have? Do I *initiate* through sexual unions, or teachings, unaware and unwilling?, or do I travel my path that is calling me with drums of thunder and tugging on my heart every second of every day and to hell with who ever can't understand or keep up? Ugh I know that is not right either, I just feel so impatient sometimes with all these revelations and break through and all the "ah-ha moments" that happen so regularly to me and no none to share them with. The joyousness gets mixed with a certain blueness. Is this what the divine feels when we don't acknowledge or commune with spirit? (On a much lesser scale of course) This *separateness*?
I am very grateful to of found this list. I humbly step back to listen more.
~SeaWolf~
----- Original Message -----
From: Paul Perner
To: Kundalini-GatewayATnospamegroups.com
Sent: Monday, August 21, 2000 12:27 AM
Subject: Re: [K-list] Healing Garble
Blythe Dolores wrote:
..........(in part)
> I spend so much time helping others heal, that this is really
> throwing me off kilter. Although, I know I will be fine. But, needing
> someone to help me, is hard... because I know the person is me. No
> other will understand my need for comfort as well as I do. So, as I
> went to sleep lastnight, feeling abandoned by the world... I wrapped
> myself in a blanket, and sung myself to sleep.
A certain loneliness is our lot.
Although now I have a treasure trove of good friends, a lover and a
reunion with my family, at times I feel terribly alone. The spiritual
experience that is the focal point of this list is on such an intense
level.... is so tremendously transformative that it takes us to places
that seem other worldly. Who could understand me?
I'm also fairly new to this list (a few months) and I've found it to
be the only place were my deepest dreams and visions don't alienate
others, but actually create bonds.
I know what you mean about singing your self to sleep. A friend wrote
a beautiful song called "Sleeping on the Moon" which I would dedicate to
all the good people on this list who have taken a huge leap forward and
sometimes just need to rest...
> .........
> See, I could look at this as a horrible triggered reaction to
> Kundalini... but the truth is, it is saving my life, my loves life
> and my caged tiger has a chance to soon be free. It is dark and
> scary, and totally worth it in the end.
You are very brave. Something tells the wheels are already in motion.
To quote my favorite song, "One Clear Moment" by the British singer
Linda Thompson (she literally sings about the awakening), "...and when
you set the wheels in motion, no way to stop it when it comes...the
walls collapse the door blows open... and you are standing in the sun...
... one clear moment's all it takes."
>............ Our sons and daugthers will be raised with
> less and less suffering... I go inside, knowing... my future daughter
> and son deserve to be free of my sexual fear. I refuse to pass this
> on, I refuse to keep it. I am going to work it down into such small
> pieces that it turns into sand. I will paint it and make a beautiful
> mandala from it, in honor of my freedom.
Blyth, you have placed a gemstone in our hands. Liberation only takes
one generation... family by family, village by village.
You are young and wise beyond your years. Don't let any of us old fogies
on this this tell you you're not this or that or can't be experiencing
this or that because you haven't practiced the proper shamooni kalaboozi
or whatever. It's an honor to be on this list with you.
Welcome to the front lines of spontaneous love.
Paul
http://www.onelist.com/community/Kundalini-Gateway
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