To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/08/17 15:52
Subject: Re: [K-list] K Pills and Cheap Thrills
From: Bestpoet
On 2000/08/17 15:52, Bestpoet posted thus to the K-list:
I have a similar history to Paul's as far as prior drug use is concerned . .
. I went from friendly pot to mainlining everything (including acid), crashed
and burned about 13 years ago and started down different paths.
The first place I worked when I got clean was High Times Magazine (as a
typesetter). Pretty funny eh? But we did a lot of articles on MDMA. Now I'm
not opposed to drugs per se. I've seen fire and I've seen rain and I've seen
sun and balmy too, and I do think drugs used carefully can have interesting
results. However, designer drugs were not always made very carefully, and
getting even one molecule wrong can have disasterous results . . . some
people froze in an extreme kind of Parkinson's. That's the thing that stuck
in my memory, but there were other bad effects from badly made drugs as well.
So if yr doing that sort of thing, I hope you know who the chemist is.
Personally, I choose not to do drugs anymore. I kinda feel like I walked all
over that path and there's not many surprises left. Also, I'm an instant grat
junkie, so I feel the best path for me at the moment is one I have to walk
more slowly, more conscientiously. I feel I need to learn that. Perhaps I'll
discover that's pointless. It's so hard to allow myself to take those baby
steps, to be a beginner. I wanna know the whole thing instantly. Gimme that
instant karma. Gimme that instant shelter.
And I'm so drawn to the idea of shaktipat . . . yeah, give me that quick
Maxwell's hammer to crack open my ornary skull! But, I bet that's not how it
will be for me. Cause I'm too scattered and stiff. Mindfulness, a loose spine
and jaw . . . that's what I'm looking for and I'll see where that leads.
I love reading ya'lls post. That in itself is very enlightening for me.
Barbara
In a message dated 08/17/2000 4:58:11 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ravensdawnATnospamearthlink.net writes:
<< David Bozzi wrote:
>
> Hi there. Although some researchers speculate that *heavy* and *continual*
use of
> MDMA *may* accelerate the usual serotonin decline that occurs with aging
this actually hasn't been
> proven. The neural & hormonal damage caused by long-term use of SSRIs is
however well documented.
>
> Overall, I agree with the many researchers, therapists, counselors, users,
etc., who find that
> the correct use of MDMA under the right circumstances can be an extremely
effective catalyst in
> dissolving blocks and helping people get into the heart chakra to
experience empathy. (with themselves
> & others)
>
> David
> (only tried it once 11 years ago)
>
If you will forgive me David, I'm going to take your statement a
little out of context (bipolar treatment) to stress a few points. Mind
you, I'm not a doctor (I can only speak from experience and through a
Californian's perspective).
I've also tried MDMA once about ten years ago. This was when the rave
scene was just gaining momentum. Out here they were sometimes called
"big bangs" in those days... seething masses of youth pushing the limits
of all things audio, visual, erotic and exotic. When I took ex at one of
these events, I was initially impressed, but then I thought, "Wait a
minute, this all seems so familiar."
Like some others on this list, I spent a goodly portion of youth ('69
to '74) soaring on LSD, mushrooms, mescaline etc., drifting in and out
of parties and huge gatherings with loud music and colorful visuals. At
times we would feel tremendous empathy with others... the world... the
cosmos... We would go on journeys beyond the reach of language and art.
"But the rave scene is different. You don't understand," a young voice
might argue from this list.
I do understand, my friend.
Through the years I've taken the altered state to the extreme. I quit
all drugs in college and pursued various religions and mystisisms like
everybody else. I even got down and wholeheartedly flung myself into the
invocations of Christianity... another altered state, only without the
external chemicals. Later, I found a much more rewarding life as an
artist - - - of sorts.
In the 80's, as some of you know, my brief, but rewarding stint as a
rock music journalist ended the day I tried heroin. Here we go again.
For the next fourteen years I tried every pharmaceutical and treatment
I could get my hands on to get off the stuff. I even gave religion the
old college try again. It was all more or less a temporary band-aid.
Useful at times, but not getting to the core.
As I've said in earlier posts, what worked for me was the following:
At the end of a trail of burnt bridges I experience a cold turkey more
severe than any before it. I thought I was going to die. My emotions, my
body, my brian... everything was reacting to what *not* there. The shock
of the void.
All physical comfort, mental reasoning, love, hope - the whole package
was gone.
I survived, got healthy, got out of myself and started helping others.
In a couple months the strange dreams started.
On the 23rd of March, 1998 the sky blew open.
A sudden new reality and it's subsequent growing pains brought me to
this list.
My point:
Hallucinogens, entheogens, empathegens, drugs, religion and other
catalysts, external and otherwise, have there dangers, blessings, there
places and there times. But they only go so far.
There's a huge difference between *feeling* spiritual and actually
becoming a part of a greater eternal spiritual process.
We can create marvelous bubbles around our heads and fill them with
all the latest words, sounds, substances, theories and mystical
maintenance methods this dimension has to offer. But bubbles burst as
bubbles will.
What if the plug was pulled on our little civilization?
Suddenly all we were left with was food and water, the earth and sky,
the here and the now (oh no! gasp!). Perhaps Goddess would smile as
people scurried about to find wood, build shelters and try to sort the
whole thing out again.
And perhaps some of us could join hands and run laughing like
children, as naked as Eden down to the ocean.
Night falls and the moon rises.
The waves gently kiss our bodies.
We send our energy up to stars and galaxies.
...if only for one sweet moment of emergence.
>>>>>>>*<<<<<<<
Was it all just a dream?
It's a warm summer afternoon. As I close my eyes and drift off again,
my kaleidoscope slips from my lap, rolls across the flour and stops at
your feet.
Paul >>
--------------------------------------------------------------------<e|-
/8020/6/_/680797/_/966552725/
--------------------------------------------------------------------|e>-
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.