To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/08/04 07:05
Subject: Re: [K-list] Looking for a little Guidance
From: Bestpoet
On 2000/08/04 07:05, Bestpoet posted thus to the K-list:
Hello All,
It's been very interesting lurking on this list for a few days. I'm trying to take some baby steps on my path. Here is my background. I've done Kundalini yoga on and off over the past year. That and some other work has enabled me to quit smoking (which I felt was really killing my ability to feel and breathe). Now I've got 6 months off cigarettes, and I've started doing a little meditation.
I've tried meditation before, did a little Korean Zen, but never stuck with it. Recently, I went on a musician's retreat with Pauline Oliveros in the Canadian woods where we did two silent meditations a day and one sound meditation. Her meditations are for musicians, where you pay attention to the sound field around you.
Since coming home, I've begun looking at various websites and other information on meditation. A book that has influenced me greatly is Anne Carolyn Klein's "Meeting the Great Bliss Queen: Buddhists, Feminists, and The Art of Self".
I like this book a lot, because it takes the best of Buddhism, Feminism and Post-Modernism (as relates to the "problem" of the subject and subjectivity) and interweaves it in a beautiful, most interesting way for self-construction and mindfulness. She herself is follows certain strains of Tibetan Buddhism and teaches religion at Rice University in Texas.
She also talks about being conscious of the cultures in which particular forms of Buddhism arise. For example, she said the Tibetans really didn't understand the concept of low self-esteem that we're so concerned with in this culture, because their social dynamics don't create that condition.
Anyway, I want to go deeper, and I'm not sure how to proceed. Should I find a teacher? Or are there books and websites I should look and go it alone? Does anyone know of a good teacher in New York City?
I'd love to perform miracles (I can't turn water into wine, but I can turn wine into urine) and have fabulous visions (especially since I don't do LSD anymore), but my main objective is mindfulness, clarity and focus. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
At the moment, I'm trying to meditate by just coming back to my breath and feeling it's path, but I don't exactly know what to do with the breath. I've also been reading a lot about the psychosis that can occur when the Kundalini energy kicks in without guidance, so I'm nervous about that.
Thank you. And thank you for all the interesting posts.
BB
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