To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/07/11 08:01
Subject: [K-list] Spritual Welfare was Re: Mudras
From: Divine Goddess
On 2000/07/11 08:01, Divine Goddess posted thus to the K-list:
Hi CJ
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamegroups.com, "CJ" <champATnospamo...> wrote:
>> In that state, I knew I didnt deserve or earn what was happening
to me. Interestingly, being in the Witness state is not necessarily
healthy. It caused me to go numb to my body and my feelings and the
feelings of those around me which I still have problems sorting out
today. Maybe some will say I never achieved true witness state. I
disagree. I can watch and be a participant in my own life.
>
> I understand how this feels - but I didn't disassociate from
myself - instead I disassociated from 'society' and the rest of the
world around me - I watched the world go by instead of participated
in it. Who knows whether the Witness State label applies here or
not. But anyway, I could only very rarely cry until I was almost 30
years old. I quit feeling things at a young age: Life was so
painful if/when I did. Like you, though - I've had a hard time
meeting my emotions, feelings, sensations, etc. I think that's the
root of my problems with rage - unable to define feelings but open
enough to need to express them.
Yes..it was in my 30s that i was able to bring balance to the
numbness that grew while living in that witness state. Numbness was
the way i experienced the world. I totally understand and empathize
with what you are talking about. it was the only way to survive for
me.
>
>> How can one measure or discern whether or not they are amoral or
being nonjudgmental or non attached? Or for yourself? Where are you?
What are you?
>
> That is a difficult issue - I can only answer for myself whether
or not *I'm* aware, based on my limited perceptions, of being
amoral/judgmental or attached. And that's only based on the info I
have at the time. Hindsight (another form of the Witness State
maybe?) is the easiest way to prove or disprove the correctness of my
impressions.
You are right...you can only answer for yourself....
>
snip
>
>> I find that I get the 'you don't care' epitath thrown at me by
people who really don't know how to take personal responsibility for
the mess their life is in and whine about it. Fortunately, I have
very, very few people in my life who don't know how to take
responsibility for the state of their affairs. I refuse to get
involved in other people's stupid dramas. Yes, I am being
judgemental, but sheesh, people can be so stupid. There is only one
wild drama queen left in my life...I just think he's precious but I
can only be around him for a couple of hours every couple of weeks.
>
> Exactly - I don't care to be involved in the folly either - and I
have a hard time being diplomatic with those who want so badly to
*help* me with mine. That 'you don't care' thing is usually a
manipulation to get you to say something that person wants to hear.
I do enjoy several ppl who don't have those needy things going on -
who will listen, offer insights, and let go when I do. They also
give me the opportunity to return the favors. Blessings come in many
forms, don't they? :)
Yes... and you can grow gracefully into being a 'hard ass'. It just
takes practice ... and time.
snip
> Nice talking to you, Susan.
And nice talking to you.
Love,
Susan
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