To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/07/10 19:47
Subject: Re: [K-list] Spritual Welfare was Re: Mudras
From: CJ
On 2000/07/10 19:47, CJ posted thus to the K-list:
Thanks for sharing, Susan. I didn't mean to give you impression that I thought you were studying about the WS - I thought you were studying shamanic rituals and associating past experiences with them.
In that state, I knew I didnt deserve or earn what was happening to me. Interestingly, being in the Witness state is not necessarily healthy. It caused me to go numb to my body and my feelings and the feelings of those around me which I still have problems sorting out today. Maybe some will say I never achieved true witness state. I disagree. I can watch and be a participant in my own life.
I understand how this feels - but I didn't disassociate from myself - instead I disassociated from 'society' and the rest of the world around me - I watched the world go by instead of participated in it. Who knows whether the Witness State label applies here or not. But anyway, I could only very rarely cry until I was almost 30 years old. I quit feeling things at a young age: Life was so painful if/when I did. Like you, though - I've had a hard time meeting my emotions, feelings, sensations, etc. I think that's the root of my problems with rage - unable to define feelings but open enough to need to express them.
How can one measure or discern whether or not they are amoral or being nonjudgmental or non attached? Or for yourself? Where are you? What are you?
That is a difficult issue - I can only answer for myself whether or not *I'm* aware, based on my limited perceptions, of being amoral/judgmental or attached. And that's only based on the info I have at the time. Hindsight (another form of the Witness State maybe?) is the easiest way to prove or disprove the correctness of my impressions.
The easiest way is to look at the results of your life. Are you creating what it is that you want for yourself? Are you happy with your life?
Looking at your life as a reflection of the state of your subconscious helps.
If there are a lot of people in your life saying, "you just don't care" maybe it is time to examine your life and do a reality check. Maybe you really don't care because you really don't care enough for yourself. You gotta love your self before you can love others.
I might not have made that clear - ppl are aware that I just don't care *what they think* about how I perceive and deal with the stuff life tosses to me. Or to them. Lots of codependents around me - oh how they cringe.
I find that I get the 'you don't care' epitath thrown at me by people who really don't know how to take personal responsibility for the mess their life is in and whine about it. Fortunately, I have very, very few people in my life who don't know how to take responsibility for the state of their affairs. I refuse to get involved in other people's stupid dramas. Yes, I am being judgemental, but sheesh, people can be so stupid. There is only one wild drama queen left in my life...I just think he's precious but I can only be around him for a couple of hours every couple of weeks.
Exactly - I don't care to be involved in the folly either - and I have a hard time being diplomatic with those who want so badly to *help* me with mine. That 'you don't care' thing is usually a manipulation to get you to say something that person wants to hear. I do enjoy several ppl who don't have those needy things going on - who will listen, offer insights, and let go when I do. They also give me the opportunity to return the favors. Blessings come in many forms, don't they? :)
Who is the baby...the essence of Christianity. IMO that would be to love your neighbor as your self and to love God as your self. Unfortunately, few people know how to love themselves....me included... so we treat other people like crap and call it spiritual.
O.k. that's what I thought. I *still* know almost every word to almost every song on the soundtrack of the movie called "Jesus Christ, Superstar". I recall winning tickets to it from a radio show when I was about 13, but not being allowed to go see it. So I got the album (there I go not giving a poop about what anyone thinks - I just do these things to make ppl mad, you know. teeheeheehee) and learned most all that I know about the Christian message of love from that. I finally saw the movie on tv when I was 17 or so - couldn't believe ppl had judged that as blasphemy.
Nice talking to you, Susan.
Peace,
carla
Love,
Susan
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