To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/07/10 15:18
Subject: Re: [K-list] Spritual Welfare was Re: Mudras
From: SA Carlson
On 2000/07/10 15:18, SA Carlson posted thus to the K-list:
Hi CJ,
It wasnt the Witness State I have been doing a lot of study on.
The person who gave me Shaktipat, 8 or so years ago, is the one who told me
I live in the Witness State.
I didn't learn to live in the Witness state by books or instruction. It was
for survival and learning by trial and error...mostly error.
When I was being abused psychically, physically, emotionally ad nauseum, the
only place I could go where it no longer hurt was deep inside myself. I
learned to detach the Essence of me from the physical me and stand aside and
watch what was being done with me. I learned how to do that when I was about
15 years old after being physically beaten and molested/raped by entities
for several years. It was do that or go insane.
Being in the Witness State allowed me to protect and preserve my soul. I did
not know it was called that then. I just knew it was a place I went so I
could look at what was happening to me from a safe position. I don't know
why I went there instead of fracturing into multiple personalities to
protect myself from full awareness of what was happening to me.
In that state, I knew I didnt deserve or earn what was happening to me.
Interestingly, being in the Witness state is not necessarily healthy. It
caused me to go numb to my body and my feelings and the feelings of those
around me which I still have problems sorting out today. Maybe some will
say I never achieved true witness state. I disagree. I can watch and be a
participant in my own life.
Someone was recently asking me about how can sociopaths have no morals and
can sometimes be seen as spiritual leaders because they look like they have
no attachments or make judgments. Well, they do but they make attachments
and judgments solely for their own good. Some may still say well that could
be a truly liberated person. Sociopaths are often psychic also so they are
and can be uncannily empathetic. (think of con men...you have to be
empathically objective to run a good con but be able to gauge the emotions
of your victim).
How can one measure or discern whether or not they are amoral or being
nonjudgmental or non attached? Or for yourself? Where are you? What are you?
The easiest way is to look at the results of your life. Are you creating
what it is that you want for yourself? Are you happy with your life?
Looking at your life as a reflection of the state of your subconscious
helps.
If there are a lot of people in your life saying, "you just don't care"
maybe it is time to examine your life and do a reality check. Maybe you
really don't care because you really don't care enough for yourself. You
gotta love your self before you can love others.
I find that I get the 'you don't care' epitath thrown at me by people who
really don't know how to take personal responsibility for the mess their
life is in and whine about it. Fortunately, I have very, very few people in
my life who don't know how to take responsibility for the state of their
affairs. I refuse to get involved in other people's stupid dramas. Yes, I am
being judgemental, but sheesh, people can be so stupid. There is only one
wild drama queen left in my life...I just think he's precious but I can only
be around him for a couple of hours every couple of weeks.
Who is the baby...the essence of Christianity. IMO that would be to love
your neighbor as your self and to love God as your self. Unfortunately, few
people know how to love themselves....me included... so we treat other
people like crap and call it spiritual.
Love,
Susan
----- Original Message -----
From: <divine_goddessATnospamhotmail.com>
To: <Kundalini-GatewayATnospamegroups.com>
>
> I am beginning to see the horrors of my early teens to early adult
> years as shamanic initiation. (been doing a lot of study) Rather than
> going insane and killing myself and others I chose to retreat to the
> Witness State and rescue and protect my soul.
Can you let me know what study - some book references, possibly? I have
been questioned so many times about why I am the way I am - and I have no
answers. People who know me complain about things like ...'you just never
did give a s*#t about...' whatever - what other ppl think is the biggest
complaint. But when the Mom approached me with that I had to ask right
back - 'Why am I like that? I mean - it had to come from somewhere - if
I've 'always been that way'. She had no answer.
But maybe what you describe as the Witness State is what I've done also;
for
protection.
Maybe that's why I don't judge? When I get judgemental stuff flowing in
from other ppl towards me - it goes back to them from me. I don't like
being there - but it happens - probably until they're done for awhile,
then
it goes away. ( I have a personal situation I won't go into that I've
previously referred to as the saga known as "As the Stomach Turns". It
has
recently become "As the Stomach Hurls"....if you get my drift <g>.) Point
being - lots of critical/judgemental thought processes are assaulting my
brain these days. That is contrary to what I consider 'normal' - which
could be the Witness State; from many years when noone listening to me was
making dying so much more attractive than living, and living had to be
numbed down so dying would'nt physicially happen.
> snip the works vs faith...
I think you're right - for Christians - having faith is the deal - works
don't cut it. There was a woman on EWTN - Babsie Bleasdale; from
Trinidad.
Ohh she is one of the most beautiful ppl I've ever seen - she created a
video series called "Refurbishing ths Soul". I believe she is very much
awakened and it is expressed thru the Holy Spirit that Christians accept
as
Divinity. I've read about awakening from many different perspectives on
this list, but the Christian 'perspectives' broke off into a different
group, if I remember correctly that far back.
>
> Some will argue with me that the purpose of enlightenment, awakening
> is to acheive non attachment, non duality. Maybe that would be a
> great goal in world that we live in that has no problems or sickness.
> I don't worry about my neighbor's world when I am non attached. I
> just think how better life would be for them if they were non
> attached like me...or actually I just wouldnt care at all.
Ya know - I'm not attached, in that sense, either - but it doesn't stop me
from being involved. ( I haven't been convinced that ignorance *isn't*
bliss, teeheeheehee) Life for them - if they were like me - wouldn't be
better - they'd be miserable. So I don't compare - if there are things I
can do to help the neighbors - I 'm thankful for the opportunities.
> Love,
> Susan
>
> PS I no longer consider myself a Christian anymore but I didnt throw
> the baby out with the bath water.
>
Who/what is the baby?
Peace,
carla
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