To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/07/08 05:08
Subject: [K-list] Love the enemy/ yoga
From: huka9802:First huka9802:Last
On 2000/07/08 05:08, huka9802:First huka9802:Last posted thus to the K-list:
I'm responding to two letters here.
The first one about Rob's dream.
This reminded me of a dream I had a month or two ago.
I was having sex with my babysitter, an underage female, on a regular basis.
There wasn't much conscious thought about it. Then, for some reason, I became conscious of how wrong it was. That night she and her younger sister were at my house. The babysitter was wanting to have sex, and I was saying no I couldn't do that.
The horror I felt at what I had done was huge; I just kep thinking how wrong it was, and that I couldn't undo it once I realized it was wrong. It was out there, it had been done.
In my dream I was conscious of planning to be a counselor, so I was also thinking that if it was discovered what I had done I could never practice as a counselor and I had risked my whole career... I also have a daughter, so I was thinking she could be taken away... It was the most horrible feeling of guilt and self-disgust and fear and having to keep such a secret forever if I could.
Then I woke up. The dream had felt so real. It was actually traumatizing to go through that. I felt like I had been inside the head of a psychopath for a while.
But there was also huge relief when I woke up and realized I hadn't done it, I hadn't victimized someone in that way, I hadn't risked my whole career, I hadn't risked losing my child....
I haven't had many dreams that are as vivid as that one was.
The second thing I wanted to respond to was what Mark wrote about yoga:
"Hatha Yoga" is not the 'gentle
yoga" of exercise as many would have us believe, but a very agressive way of
opening the channels through bodily purification. None of the yoga tapes I've
watched have mentioned this....I guess because it cuts into the sales
figures<G>!
Yeah, it wasn't on the Kathy Smith's New Yoga that I got several years ago!
I would do the yoga in the morning, and a few hours later I would have a huge energy surge, and I didn't know what to do with it. I was sitting in classes and that was very difficult while I am bursting with energy. I would also feel really anxious sometimes, I think because of the excess energy.
Fortunately, I did meet someone through some classmates who had studied yoga and tai chi with teachers. She explained about the unblocking of energy.
I stopped doing yoga though because of the anxiety.
Later I learned acu-yoga, which combines yoga and acupressure, and I didn't have the anxiety with that; somehow I seemed to stay more grounded with it.
Neither of these systems were completely the traditional yoga postures; they had been modified.
Does anyone know what differences there is between doing the traditional yoga postures and doing modified ones?
Maybe I just have an inordinate amount of fear to clear in this lifetime. :-)
Karen
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