To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/07/05 09:49
Subject: [K-list] El and Crow or is it Raven? Attacks
From: Lesley Richardson
On 2000/07/05 09:49, Lesley Richardson posted thus to the K-list:
I play this record from the sixties – on the “Forrest
Gump” CD – that basically sings a passage from
Ecclesiastes about a “time for every purpose under
heaven.” I believe this is accurate. On the highest
level, everything is really perfect although when it´s
my insides that are getting creamed, I scream like a
stuck pig and I continue to scream or whine or
whatever, until the pain leaves.
I´ve got some lovely teachers and friends who help
remove that pain, even when it´s caused by my own
neediness and lack of faith and even when I continue
to repeat the mistakes, I still get help, here on the
list and elsewhere.
So on one level on this list, what is happening is
perfect. But on another level, it dismays me when it
reaches the point where I feel people are leaving
because us crows have ganged up on a member of the
flock and pecked the member almost to death, even if
it's ego death and supposedly good for the person.
I miss Chris Wynter´s posts. I´m going to miss El´s. I
was disturbed by both Mia and Isadora´s losses too.
When I have had enough of a thread, I just delete
everything to do with it, from Tony´s through that
young Irishman – and some of the other posters where
the anger of the energy has been more than I wished to
stomach at the time.
But I get helped here and I struggle to understand why
we collectively, with as much love and intelligence
and sheer immensity of the energy that is wielded by
those who post here, cannot find a way that is between
the either/or, black or white of the High Priestess
card to the gray of a different solution that is the
outcome of the card's working.
I think that what may work, is that, if a thread
flames beyond what the person being flamed can handle,
that we have a safe word that basically lets an
individual say he or she has had enough for this round
and everyone honors that at once. But in this way. If
a person posts the word, the thread ends with regard
to that person – nothing more is posted, either
positive or negative on that subject unless the person
opens up the topic again.
Since Angelique is the list moderator, she has to OK
this anyway. But it may help to avoid what I call the
Crow phenomenon where the group eggregore appears to
turn into a flock of crows that seem to be hell bent
on attacking one of the flock members to ego death.
In some ways, suggesting this is an interference with
the “time for every purpose under heaven” perfection
of the Cosmos. In others, it may help reduce the
effect of the Crow phenomenon to where a person has a
different choice than leaving the list.
That said, let me tell you a dream I just had
recently. I dreamed I saw a bunch of cats, lying
outside, all injured, chopped up quite badly. In the
trees above were two hawks. It was the two hawks that
had done all the damage to the cats. I gathered up the
cats and took them to the vet to be treated. Although
the cats were badly hurt, they all survived the attack
and healed. What did that dream mean to me? It meant
that the aspects of myself that I buried – the aspects
I actually group under the name Scaredy Cat, were
being dug out so that they could come into the open
and I could heal the rest of the way. It was taking
the claws of two hawks to tear them out of my insides,
so buried were these pieces of me and so difficult for
me to get at. So in some ways, the flaming exchanges
on this list may also represent a level of emotion
directed at a condition inside someone that brings up
issues not reachable in any other way. Like lancing an
emotional boil. I know that when I started what I call
Path work, my emotional numbness was so entrenched
that it took an incredible upheaval in my life to get
me in touch with my emotions again. And I´m still
working on getting at and releasing embedded fear and
anger that sometimes surfaces only because I encounter
a situation so painful to me that I, who really
dislike angry confrontation of any kind, am forced to
fight back. And I see some of that happening here in
the flames.
But I feel it would be a good to give someone who is
getting flamed past endurance a safe passage so that
the person could stay to fight another day, as it
were.
Love, Lesley
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