To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/27 18:19
Subject: [K-list] move along
From: lobster
On 2000/06/27 18:19, lobster posted thus to the K-list:
> << Why don't you both take off the masks and stop performing for us?
>
> Love,
> Jag >>
Dear Friends, Jag, El,
Honesty, openess, 'revealing ourselves' *may* be another form of masking.
Some people turn the mask inside out. They remove the outward mask and yet
mask how this feels to them . . .
This is the mark of pseudo-spirituality . . .
> Wim left to be with his dying father a week ago and I've been too busy to
> read my email for the past few days. How invigorating to come across a
"you
> both suck" vote. Can't say I didn't open the door for it, LOL. Never
ceases
> to amaze me how many people think that ending their post with "Love" or
> "Blessings" or some such sweetness and light "I'm a good person" jargon
will
> cancel out a kick-somebody-in-their-teeth message.
It quite often does, however it may cause resentment and inner rejection.
Just as an opposite unpleasant persona may bring out a persons more
benevolent and caring side.
How many of us have the wisdom to know when to use what?
Therefore for OUR peace of mind and inner calm it is usually better to try
and offer calm and kindness - because it is a more pleasant feeling. If not
we may (our choice) suffer along with the angry or malevolent person . . .
> The mark of self-authenticity isn't that everyone will like you. I kept
my
> "real" persona behind the scenes and mostly presented an edited,
relatively
> bland and easily digestible El to the public (which means to all but my
> closest friends) for much of my life. K has been steadily eroding my
masks
> for the past 9 years. More and more, I've been showing the world
(including
> this list) an unapologetic, unmuzzled, self-revealed me. Doesn't mean I'm
> perfect. None of us are as individuals.
The mark of self-athenticity is of being true to yourself. IF you are
genuine then be genuine. If you are false or unpleasant why expose others to
this - so you will feel OK? Unless you can utilise different aspects of your
persona for a natural progression in yourself and others why expose others
to what may do them harm - or is that OK?
> I used to think I was supposed to be a saint, which to me meant never
Yes you are a Saint - that is your real nature - the rest is ego. It is not
a question of what we are supposed to be. A child like perfection is always
with us. This may be distorted and warped by life but our real nature (in
each of us) is 'saintly' or pure. However too many see it as a sort of candy
flossy, marsh mallowey softness - it is more like a diamond . . .
> expressing anger, being tolerant of anything anyone dished out to me, and
> never defending myself (though I could and did intervene for the sake of
> others). This distorted notion of saintliness came from a
misinterpretation
> of sacred literature, plus a reaction to my childhood trauma. I had
lumped
> together abuse, anger of any sort, and aggressive behavior as signs of
> spiritual bankruptcy. K straightened me out on that. I went through an
> intensive period of de-programming where in a series of dreams, I was
> attacked by vicious entities and confronted by all sorts of antagonistic
> characters. Even in my dreams, I'd never before defended myself.
Have you de-programmed or re-programmed?
Defend yourself from what? The idea that you are still under attack?
The defense/attack model may be more egoically mature and healthy and
appropriate but has it anything to do with spirituality . . . ?
Are Saints those who know who they are and what they are doing?
> Anger is part of the human experience. Getting permanently stuck in
> rage-aholic anger creates serious problems for oneself and others. There
are
> many reasons why this happens. Some people learn that having a
hair-trigger
> temper and flying into rages gives them power and control over others, who
> they can bully into submission. Chronic anger can also be a defense
against
> fear, grief, or feelings of personal helplessness or worthlessness. In
some
> cases, there may be a karmic or spiritually purposeful reason for
excessive
> anger. Anger can be the unrefined energy which later, when disciplined,
> fuels the work of the warrior fighting against injustice, cruelty, apathy,
or
> any stagnant, oppressive force for the benefit of all.
Exactly so, it is a very powerful tool and as you say the key is refinement.
> Love rejects nothing, including anger. It doesn't armor itself against
any
> "frequency." And here's the paradox: anger, or anything else accepted by
> love, is transformed. The fastest way to make an angry person angrier is
to
> insist that he/she is wrong to be angry. The fastest way to calm him/her
> down is to honestly tell them, "You have a right to be angry." This
doesn't
> require pouring gasoline into fires of self-righteousness, encouraging
> someone to mangle their opponent. It's just our willingness to step back
> enough to understand someone else's perspective, even if we don't wholly
> agree with it.
Exactly so.
Conflict (suffering) comes from resistence. If we move along with an angry
persons energy, *We* can still do this in a calm and peaceful way. Just as
being outwardly nervous (rather than bottling and hiding it) may create an
inner calm . . .
I'll leave the last word to you as it is well said . . .
Be Well
Lobster program
> Since few of us are that detached and centered under stress, we can also
say
> "No" to power-addict anger through our willingness to fight back, as Lou
did
> in his childhood when he defied his violent raging father. It's not the
> anger that creates havoc, but the clarity of the vehicle through which it
> passes. If we're clear of self-exaltant (i.e., wanting to be superior)
> intent, we can receive and express even anger in a way that does not
violate
> ourselves or destroy others.
>
> El
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