To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/18 18:42
Subject: Re: [K-list] energy
From: Paul Perner
On 2000/06/18 18:42, Paul Perner posted thus to the K-list:
divine_goddessATnospamhotmail.com wrote:
> I don't get to post much anymore cos they put up a smart filter at
> work so we can't access public email sites.
It's good to hear from you again.
> About eight years ago I was leading and participating in a lot of
> intense seminars that included anger excercises.
(edit)
> We used to get people worked up in a frenzy
> beat on tables (make lotsa noise like wild uncivilized people) and
> play VERY LOUD military japanese drum music. Whew, the energy was
> thick.
The spotlight makes the studs on her leather jacket glow as bright as her
purple hair.
> and the audience shouts back, "Yeah! we want to know what makes you
> mad! Then the person says, "Do you really want to know what makes me
> mad?" The audience reponds, "yeah! we really want to know what makes
> you mad!!!"
Her guitar player plugs in and cranks it up... and he's ready to raise
hell!!!
> And for a third time, the person would yell at the top of their
> lungs, "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT MAKES ME MAD!!!?!!!!" And the
> audience would scream back at them, "YEAH, WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW
> WHAT MAKES YOU MAD!!!!!!"
>
> The person responds, "WHAT REALLY MAKES ME MAD IS..............!!!!"
>
> And out would come the most amazing stuff for about 30 seconds. I
> never really heard what people said, they were screaming so hard.
And on the seventh day, Punk Rock was created and the Creator saw Her
children and said, 'Yes, this, too, is good.
> I screamed about never having a voice for my
> anger. I screamed about not knowing I had the right to be angry. I
> screamed about how no one listened to me, how no one cared.
Susan, Divine Goddess, you rock!
> An hour after that exercise I walked past a mirror and was startled
> at my reflection. My eyes were two clear crystal pools looking back
> at me. I saw my soul. The structure of my face had changed. It was
> more open. I was transformed on a deep physical level. A layer of
> crap over my essential self had burned away.
And as the years went by and music faded away, not every eye was clear. When
you hand people pure energy, it's up to them as to what they do with it.
Some kids really benefited and some got in trouble.
> I watched hundreds of people with hundreds of reactions. ......... go sit
> in the front row,
> only inches from the screaming contorted tortured looking faces and
> deeply immerse myself in the experience. Ever been in a room with
> over 50 people screaming in anger at the top of their lungs.......
> Its very frightening, terrifying to the unititiated.
>
> .........
> It's way more intimate than sex. Anybody can have sex, how many can
> have anger? Anger is our last taboo.
> .............
>
> We created a place of
> absolute safety because what most people don't know is that safety
> comes from inside their heart not from outside boundaries.
Much can be discussed here regarding boundaries in the tension of an urban
environment. Even through you're talking about a therapy group, a lot a
parallels can be found in rock 'n roll and sports clubs. Also, folks who get
into mock Medieval battles, swords, weapons etc., go through a similar
process, yes?
> Next, no throwing of the sticks or hurting anyone or yourself. You
> can bounce and jump and scream as loud and curse as obscenely as you
> want, but no moving from your mark.
When I talk about punk, I'm referring to the old school 1977 brand. Back
then the dancing was called "pogo, " kind of a loose, wild up and down
thing. There was occasional contact, but there was also an unspoken rule not
to hurt each other. Later, in the 80's, "slam dancing" (vertical instead of
horizontal action) became the rage and was the cause of many a bloody nose
and out of control brawl. By then it was a whole different thing and a new
crop of kids, and I was miles removed from it. One thing I noticed is that
the new slam kids were almost entirely male. Very few bands had female
members (unlike the old days when it was about half and half.) It became
like a football, skin head, muscle jock scene. By the time the 90's came, so
many different styles and mind-sets had come and gone. Some faded away and
some had influenced popular culture for the long hall, but I have nothing
but fond memories of the 70's punk daze. You could be as weird, crazy, angry
and insane as humanly possible and then look around you and find out that
you have a whole bunch of new, trusted friends. Like Susan implied, it's
something that has to be experienced first hand. An initiation, you might
say.
> ......... We just didnt watch we participated. We would
> never ask a student to do anything that we werent willing to do
> ourselves.
And this is why the original punks were not into the "rock star" thing. The
division between the band and the audience had to be broken down. There was
no "them up there" and "us down here," All walls had to go before the energy
vortex could swirl.
> Anger is emotion, only energy. Positive, negative spin on it? Nope,
> just energy like excitement, like fear, like passion, like.....
> What is your perception? It is only energy.
I see "anger" as a type of energy with a human element. Anger happens when
somebody feels like they've been wronged or somebody else has done something
wrong to some one or something they love. There are so many things that can
influence anger to have either a creative or destructive out come. A few
years ago my city had a riot. What started as positive anger born of police
brutality, racial and political injustice, soon disintegrated into a
free-for-all in the street that left over forty people dead. Most of the
participants used it as an opportunity to grab a new tv set and other goods
from the nearest shop (white people were in on this, too). But worse, some
gangs used the anarchy as a cover, took out their Uzis and AK47s and started
blasting away. A friend had to drive through South Central that day and got
caught in the cross fire.
(*sensivitity warning*)
She stopped at a red light at an intersection, looked to her left and saw a
fellow sitting on a bus bench. It was a dangerous area and she felt she
should give him a lift. He looked frightened. They glanced at each other.
Just as she looked up to see if the light had changed, she heard a loud pop.
She looked over and saw the man slouched over with a piece of his head on
his lap and blood gushing all over. He was some mother's son and might have
been some child's father.
My point is: Anger is born of a problem. And a great deal of senseless
death and tragedy can be born from the anger. Releasing anger is a good
thing (punk and therapy groups). Problem anger itself is not a good thing.
It can be a very, very bad vibe.
We have to find the root of the problem and do something to change it.
> Anger transforms like quick brush fire, it comes and goes, it's gone.
> Renewal arises for new growth, new discoveries, a new freedom.
Yes, it transforms like fire... like the one that destroyed part of the
historical district that my mother grew up in when some ass hole tossed a
Molotov cocktail into the corner liquor store. Yes, there's new buildings in
that neighborhood now, but I haven't heard anything about new freedoms. The
poor old lady saw her memories go up in flames on the news. At that point,
for her and a lot of other people, the riot was no longer a noble rebellion
against racial injustice. No, it had turned into a stupid, creepy wave of
deadly, human mob mentality.
> You know what I do sometimes still? Particularly, when my life feels
> stagnant. I roll up two sheets of newpaper (long way) and start
> beating a table to death, making as much noise as I can screaming at
> the top of my lungs, expressing my anger to the universe.
I wish I could do the above, but in my twenty unit building I'd soon hear
from a lot of irritated tenants. They would get angry and most wouldn't
understand my suggestion that they should release that feeling by doing the
same. Then a rather large gentleman would approach me and shout at the top
of his lungs, "I'm dealing with my inner anger right now by telling you to
shut the f#%ck up!!!" And around and around we would go.
What I do instead is put the headphones on and crack up an old Clash or Sex
Pistols record. X-Ray Specks, The Avengers, X, The Germs, da Ramones...
works every time for me.
> Blissings,
> Susan
>
And blessings to you, Susan. My apologies for using your post to express my
anger against anger of the public violent kind. I know you were talking
about the inner kind.The anger I expressed above is much like Percyval's. We
don't care much for the "everything's sunshine and teddy bears and if you
don't see it this way, something's wrong with you" new age mind set.
Gotta run.
Love to all of you.
Paul
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