To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/13 13:10
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re: cancer and prognosis ( Angelique)
From: new searcher
On 2000/06/13 13:10, new searcher posted thus to the K-list:
>...cynical ... heartless. ... nasty and cruel and painful In my opinion
>Paul doesn't need diagnosis, links and statistics
Mia, you seem to be a deeply compassionate & kind person. Without most of
the details, I want to share a story with you. It is a very sad story. Maybe
it will help explain where some of us are coming from in response to Paul's
post.
We had a young cat that got feline leukemia before there was a vaccine. My
children LOVED that scraggly pathetic little thing. They named him Murphy
(today it would have been named Wal-Mart). Murphy came to us as a kitten
from a garbage can where we found him looking for something to eat. I could
hardly feed US, but we took the kitten home & washed it & gave it something
to eat & tried to give it away, but nobody wanted a black cat, so it stayed.
By the time he got sick, we'd taken in a couple of mistreated dogs & another
throw-away cat which were all so fat & healthy, but it was Murphy we loved,
so we gave the healthy animals away in order to be able to pay vet bills &
buy better food for Murphy. I hoped that maybe something would happen to
change the outcome for our beloved cat, so for almost a year I paid monthly
vet bills & fed Murphy. The vet visit came where shots & medicine & no
amount of money could help him anymore & I finally realized how selfish I
was being by putting him thru all the pain & misery by continuing keeping
him alive when there was no hope for his recovery. I didn't want Murphy to
die & even though I did everything I could to prolong his life, it wasn't
enough.
Anyway, to get to the point of the story. We were taking him home from the
vet after putting him to sleep, to have a proper "kitty-kat burial", where
everyone stands around the pet's grave as we decorate it with flowery
looking weeds & stick crosses after we've wrapped it in our very best pillow
case...everyone talks about their favorite memories with the pet, in this
case, Murphy. Everyone said their piece & it came my daughter's turn. She
was six years old. She 'lit' into the rest of us because we weren't sad
enough about Murphy dying, we should be crying really hard like she was, we
just weren't giving Murphy the respect he rightfully deserved. This was a
very impressionable child & I knew that if I cried like my heart wanted to,
that she would be even more hurt than she was. We loved Murphy more than any
other pet before or since. My heart felt torn out because there was nothing
I could do but release him from the pain I was selfishly putting him thru
with shots every month when there was no cure. I couldn't fix it, but I
wanted to more than anything.
Murphy taught me more than any one 'situation' ever has. Now, when I take in
a cat, I refuse the test which would say likely/unlikely to get the disease.
My feeling is that we CHOOSE to love the strays that come to us, but my
committment to our pets is this--we take them in, feed, vet, love & accept
their love-- whatever they need to be our pets, BUT if they are ever
diagnosed with feline leukemia, there will be a period of mourning & sadness
& then it's over. There will never again be a year-long vigil putting them
thru that which is not likely to improve their quality of life. Money to pay
the vet is not the issue as it once was--my heart hurt terribly over that
stupid little stray cat that gave us so much.
Whether the problem is pets or us, I now research & gather as much
information as I can about the possibilities in order to make a more
informed decision for what is best all-around. We don't know what decision
is best for Paul, only Paul can decide for himself what he wants out of
this. I have none of the 'powers' yall talk about, if I did, I'd certainly
by applying for his benefit. I can turn him over to my higher power & ask
for good to come his way & that strength be his, but I cannot heal or fix
anything. This does not make me cynical & heartless & mean--although I can
be all those & more.
Blessings to you, tender-hearted, Mia. new_searcher
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