To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/12 16:37
Subject: [K-list] Stifled, zen zen and zing zing
From: Paul Perner
On 2000/06/12 16:37, Paul Perner posted thus to the K-list:
Dear List,
Love. That's a big one.
El, Isadora and many other here share my feelings regarding, need, neediness and
the business of the heart.
I hope we never "go beyond" the need for love. Imagine all the music and poetry
that would disappear. Again, it would be that strange, new age sterility I have
such a peeve about. It makes me want to spin some Jefferson Airplane: "Don't you
want somebody to love?... Don't you need somebody to love?...You better find
somebody to love..."
It's time for me to make some adjustments.
My girlfriend moved out this morning. Nothing ugly. It just didn't work out.
Last night we cried in each other's arms. I held out for a long time. I tried to
avoid the pain with every spiritual, philosophic, mundane and emotional loophole,
rationalization and escape route that my mind could conceive of. But some things
hurt and there's no way around it. The tears came and tonight they could come
again. It's like getting a tooth pulled. Nobody ever said it was easy.
I have another adjustment to make: I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer
and because of the stage it's in, the doctors say that aggressive surgery is my
only option. I'm not tripping on it too much, but there are a number of issues
looming on the horizon. One of them is the pain thing (impotency another). I've
saved some of the posts on this issue, but I may be mailing some of you privately
regarding this (in about two weeks). We'll see. Maybe it won't be so bad. I've
never been put to sleep or cut open. It's all new to me.
I'm not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. I'm just hoping that nobody on this
list takes love for granted. I hope that none of us get so secure and insulated
in our peaceful, mystical cocoons that we miss that special glance from a
stranger on the street. Whether it be one of passing desire, confident admiration
or one out of helpless need, we could be missing an invitation to the greatest
adventure. Love, so wonderfully unpredictable. But whether it's realized or
disappointed, is there anyone on this list who can say it's not worth the gamble?
Life really is short. One that note, here's one of my favorite quotes:
"Get it while you can."
Janis Joplin
Yours Sincerely,
Paul
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.